The man who once helped Richard ‘Dirty’ Desmond save a load of tax was wheeled out to face Laura Kuenssberg

You wait years for one party donation of £36m and then two come along at once. Reform can hardly believe its luck. All hail the crypto billionaires. Tacky pale turquoise suits all round. And Nigel Farage won’t have to worry about spending any of his own money – if you can call the £5m freebie his own money – on his security. Nor do those champagne and oyster lunches to discuss loose change donations of £500k from people living overseas pay for themselves. From now on Reform won’t need to bother getting out of bed for anything less than eight figures.

Fair to say that if it had been Labour or the Tories trousering £72m from Christopher Harborne and Ben Delo then Reform would be on full outrage rampage. How the political system was rigged against it and how the two main parties are hotwired cash machines. In bed with the super-rich. But since the money is heading towards its own bank account, everyone in the party is totally chilled. This is just the way life ought to be. Who wouldn’t want a country where two billionaires can attempt to buy the democratic process?