8 July 1934 – 16 June 2021
The US journalist on his aunt, whose exacting vision – from her writing to her elegant dinner parties – was an expression of love and generosity

• The Supremes’ Mary Wilson remembered by Otis Williams
• Read the Observer’s obituaries of 2021 in full

“Hypocrisy is the grease that keeps society functioning in an agreeable way, by allowing for human fallibility and reconciling the seemingly irreconcilable human needs for order and pleasure.”

Those are the words, unmistakable for their wit and moral clarity, of Janet Malcolm, from her most famous book, The Journalist and the Murderer. They’re not words she lived by personally, however. She was uncompromising in her own response to fallibilities large and small, cheerfully sending back wine at restaurants, rejecting all offers to bring contributions to dinner parties, and chiding anyone who read a certain dire translation of Anna Karenina. I remember on more than one occasion giving her a holiday present, and then watching her unwrap it, look it over, and hand it back to me, explaining that she thought I would enjoy it more than she would.