But no joy for the UK as Michael Rice limps in last

The 64th Eurovision final, hosted by Israel in Tel Aviv, was swathed in controversy – from calls for a boycott over the Palestine conflict, to uncertainty over whether special guest Madonna would show up (she did), until only two burning questions remained – who would win, and how many of the estimated 200 million viewers would survive the full three hours and 40 minutes without opting to pour hot glue into their own eyes and ears just to make it stop.

The “Dare to Dream” themed ceremony was kicked off by 2018 winner, Netta Barzilai. The UK hasn’t won since 1997 with Katrina and the Waves – though some of us regard Jemini’s score of “Nul points” in 2003, as a national triumph. With the UK a member of the “Big Five” (along with France, Italy, Germany, and Spain, they make the biggest financial contribution to Eurovision), would our 2019 entry, bravely understated 21-year-old Michael Rice, make an impact with Bigger Than Us? No one could be sure – especially not with half of this year’s contestants garbed in racy PVC/leather/thigh-booted outfits, like a mass emptying-out of an Ann Summers seconds-bin.