‘Getting out of bed is the first hurdle’: how I cope with my anxiety

Dread and despair have been a part of my life since childhood – and then I started writing about politics ...

The anxiety is ever-present. Sometimes only as a form of background noise; a voice that tells me I’ve failed at the day before it’s even begun. At other times it’s more insistent. An almost physical presence. A heart-pounding feeling of dread that makes it a struggle to get out of bed. A longed for desire to go back to sleep, to rewind the clock, in the desperate hope that I could start the day again.

I stare at the clock, calculating how long I can leave it before I have to get out of bed and engage with the day. Another 10 minutes maybe? Twenty if I choose to skip breakfast. Hoping that the anxiety will have passed by the time I do get up, while knowing that every delay merely makes it worse. I know it’s a kind of madness. But it’s one to which I invariably succumb.

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UK aid funding must not be privatised | Letter

Proposals to refocus aid as private investment could weaken support for vulnerable people worldwide, says Claire Godfrey

Proposals by the international development secretary, Penny Mordaunt, to refocus UK aid towards for-profit investment risks weakening support for the people who need our help the most, and compromising the work Britain does to make the world a safer, healthier and more just place to live in (Report, 30 January). The Department for International Development has a long-standing history and reputation as a world leader in helping millions of people worldwide to access clean water, healthcare, better jobs and education. DfID’s focus on ending extreme poverty has secured a global reputation that Britain is proud of and one which we continue to champion. Any move to expand the role of private investment in international development must reflect the basic and shared human values underlying charity, humanitarian aid and development, and not prioritise the pursuit of profit over tackling poverty.
Claire Godfrey
Head of policy and campaigns at Bond, which represents over 400 UK NGOs working in humanitarian aid and development

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‘Trauma packs’ being stockpiled in UK over fears of no-deal Brexit

Exclusive: pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson fears border delays could disrupt flow of vital medical supplies

Emergency “trauma packs” flown into the UK during terrorist attacks are being stockpiled in Britain by the pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson over concerns of a risk to life from border delays in the event of a no-deal Brexit.

The company said the move was being made due to the danger posed to the “routine and rapid” provision of the vital emergency equipment it provides to the NHS in times of emergency from a distribution plant in Belgium.

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Lisbon’s bad week: police brutality reveals Portugal’s urban reality

A viral video of police violence has brought national attention to the long-ghettoised community in Bairro da Jamaica

From time to time, cars of curious people drive slowly though Bairro da Jamaica, craning their necks for a peek at the neighbourhood that’s been in the headlines across Portugal for several days now. None of them step out of their vehicles.

They’re here to look at the broken glass, the smashed roof tiles and the evidence of last week’s violence. The tallest of the bairro’s self-built housing towers is now derelict, fenced off with yellow tape and awaiting demolition; the others are also scheduled to be torn down, but are still occupied for now.

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Spike in deaths of Oxford rough sleepers rocks community

Friends cite lack of support in university town for those with mental health and addiction problems

A spate of deaths has rocked the homeless community in Oxford, sparking warnings that a lack of housing and support for people with mental health and addiction problems in one of Britain’s most affluent cities is contributing to fatalities.

Bereaved friends of four men and a woman who have died suddenly in the university city since November said the losses are the worst they have known. They fear further deaths among rough sleepers amid freezing temperatures.

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Vaping twice as likely as gum to help smokers quit, research finds

Study shows 18% success rate with e-cigarettes, compared with 10% with other methods

People are almost twice as likely to succeed in quitting smoking if they use e-cigarettes than if they rely on nicotine replacement patches and gums, a new study has shown.

The research, focused on nearly 900 long-term smokers seeking NHS help to quit, was hailed as a landmark by experts in public health in the UK who believe e-cigarettes have already helped bring down the smoking rate. However, there was less enthusiasm in the United States, where there is concern that vaping nicotine is addictive and may cause children to start smoking.

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Penny Mordaunt criticised over call for aid to come from private sector

International development secretary says she wants DfID to become more a fundraising than a spending department

Penny Mordaunt has been criticised by charities and MPs for suggesting the government’s international development spending should become more reliant on private sector investment and philanthropy.

The international development secretary told cabinet ministers she would aim for her department to become a fundraising department rather than a spending department, telling them it was unsustainable to continue to meet the spending target with taxpayer cash.

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Chinese city seeks young blood: how ageing Nanjing lures new talent

The next 15 megacities #12: The ancient capital of China is pulling out all the stops in a bid to defuse its ticking demographic timebomb

Tan Jingquan is exactly the kind of person the ancient Chinese city of Nanjing wants to attract. The 38-year-old had been searching rival cities for possible sites for his biotech startup for years – until the Nanjing government finally made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

“I visited and explored opportunities in nearly a dozen cities,” recalls Tan, a native of Wuhan in central China. “It turned out Nanjing has the best combination of policy incentives and market potential for small startups.”

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The white stuff: why Britain can’t get enough cocaine

Britain snorts more of the drug than almost anywhere in Europe, more young people are taking it and deaths are rising. Why?

The moment Dan (not his real name) realised he had a problem with cocaine, he had been off work for a week, sick with flu. His phone buzzed. It was his cocaine dealer, calling to check he was OK. When Dan, one of his favoured customers, hadn’t been in touch to buy the cocaine he usually took several times a week, the dealer knew something was wrong.

“I don’t like thinking about that,” Dan says, shaking his head as we sit in a London pub. Now 36, Dan estimates he has spent £25,000 on cocaine. Lines in the pub on a Friday night after work. Lines on a Wednesday evening at a friend’s house while earnestly discussing 90s hip-hop. Lines at house parties, weddings, birthday parties and for no reason at all, other than that cocaine – the white powder that makes no one a better version of themselves, but that many of us continue to do anyway – is everywhere and freely available.

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Welsh health board criticised after worker killed woman while under investigation

Independent review into ABMUHB highlights string of concerns about Kris Wade

A health board has been criticised over the case of a nursing assistant who murdered a neighbour in a sexually motivated attack while under investigation for abusing three patients with learning disabilities.

Kris Wade had been suspended from work for three years after the allegations of sexual abuse when he murdered his neighbour, Christine James, at her flat on Cardiff Bay in south Wales.

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Breast-ironing: British peer to raise issue in parliament

Leading QC Alex Carlile hopes to force wider scrutiny of the practice after Guardian revealed ‘dozens’ of girls subjected to abusive custom

A British peer is to table questions in parliament on the secretive practice of “breast-ironing”, after the Guardian revealed that the abusive intervention is spreading in the UK.

Alex Carlile, one of the UK’s leading QCs who is a former deputy high court judge and a member of the House of Lords, told the Guardian that he hoped to trigger a wider scrutiny of the practice in the UK.

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‘We are afraid’: Brazilian women alarmed at relaxation of gun laws

Bolsonaro’s move allowing more people to own firearms is causing unease in a society where domestic violence is rife

A pledge to make it easier for “good citizens” to buy guns for self-defence helped sweep Jair Bolsonaro to power. But there is alarm that the Brazilian president’s decree loosening firearms laws will make pervasive violence against women even worse – and more deadly.

“I believe this is a very negative measure that will lead more women to be threatened by violence,” said Maria da Penha, the women’s rights activist whose case changed Brazil’s domestic violence laws. “This decree should be reviewed.”

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Genes linked to antibiotic-resistant superbugs found in Arctic

Discovery of genes, possibly carried by birds or humans, shows rapid spread of crisis

Genes associated with antibiotic-resistant superbugs have been discovered in the high Arctic, one of the most remote places on earth, showing the rapid spread and global nature of the resistance problem.

The genes were first identified in a hospital patient in India in 2007-8, then in surface waters in Delhi in 2010, probably carried there by sewage, and are now confirmed in soil samples from Svalbard in the Arctic circle, in a paper in the journal Environment International. They may have been carried by migrating birds or human visitors, but human impact on the area is minimal.

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Ex-mercenary claims South African group tried to spread Aids

New documentary details unit’s disturbing obsession with HIV

A South Africa-based mercenary group has been accused by one of its former members of trying to intentionally spread Aids in southern Africa in the 1980s and 1990s.

The claims are made by Alexander Jones in a documentary that premieres this weekend at the Sundance film festival. He says he spent years as an intelligence officer with the South African Institute for Maritime Research (SAIMR), three decades ago, when it was masterminding coups and other violence across Africa.

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Scientists are working on a pill for loneliness

Modern life has led to greater isolation, which can fuel an array of disorders. If there are medications for social pains like depression and anxiety, why not loneliness?

Loneliness is part of the human condition. A primeval warning sign, like hunger or thirst, to seek out a primary resource: connection. Millions of years of evolution have shaped us into creatures who need social bonds in the same way that we need food and water.

And yet we increasingly find ourselves isolated. Loneliness is no longer a powerful enough driver to break us out of the silos created by modern life. Like our insatiable love of high-calorie foods, what was once an adaptive tool has become so misaligned with the way we live that it’s causing, in the words of the former surgeon general Vivek H Murthy, an “epidemic”.

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Orkney rated Britain’s best place to live in terms of quality of life

Scotland and north of England dominate top five as measured by housing, crime and schools

Orkney is the best place to live in the UK, with cheap houses, low crime, good schools and a population who are among the happiest and healthiest in the country, according to the annual Halifax quality of life survey.

The survey found that all the top five best places to live in the UK were in Scotland or the north of England. Richmondshire in the north of the Yorkshire Dales came second, while the appropriately named Eden district in Cumbria was third.

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The joy that comes from embracing trans identity shouldn’t be so rare | Andy Connor

‘Gender euphoria’ is a concept whose time has come, and at this year’s Midsumma festival we got a chance to see it in full flight

As the chorus of voices lifted in the final kaleidoscopic song of Gender Euphoria, the first mainstage all-transgender show in Australian history, something rare and vital was communicated. So many trans stories are tragedies; it’s easy to miss the triumphs. So much of the world is still so stigmatising and cruel to trans people that it’s easy to overlook the joy. More than just relief at having escaped something, the show tells us, being trans is also about having found something. “Goodbye gender dysphoria,” proclaimed cabaret star Mama Alto, “Hello gender euphoria!”

Related: Shantay, you play: the drag queens of gaming

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‘These children are crucial’: teaching forgiveness in CAR’s besieged camps

With peace talks starting this week in Khartoum, a quarter of the population of the Central African Republic have had to leave their homes – some into camps where makeshift teaching facilities offer hope to a potentially lost generation

Marie was fast asleep when the rebels came. “They wanted to kill all the men,” she says, “and to destroy our homes.”

Three militants burst into her room then moved to the next house, leaving her screaming in terror but unscathed. In a conflict zone where rape is routinely used as a weapon of war, other girls were less fortunate that night. She was just 12.

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‘I’ve absolutely had enough’: Tory MP embarks on anti-austerity tour

Heidi Allen joins former Labour MP Frank Field on mission to highlight the poverty caused by her party’s policies

Heidi Allen and Frank Field make an odd partnership at first glance. Allen, 44, the Conservative MP for one of Britain’s richest constituencies, and Field, 76, a Labour MP for 39 years until he resigned over antisemitism in the party, have bonded across the Commons over a shared outrage at poverty. Now they have embarked on a nationwide tour in search of the “other England” shaped by the austerity policies pioneered by Allen’s party. It is proving emotional.

Visits to the poorest corners of Newcastle, Glasgow, Morecambe and Cornwall beckon, but they have started in London and Leicester, where on Thursday they heard stories of an illiterate man sanctioned so often under universal credit that he lives on £5 a week; a man so poor he sold all but the clothes he was wearing; and someone being told to walk 44 miles to attend a job interview, despite having had a stroke, to save the state the cost of a £15 bus ticket.

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Police arrest 19 people over FGM gang attacks on women in Uganda

Critics say police should have acted earlier on reports of forceful mutilation of more than 400 women in a month by armed groups

Sixteen men and three women have been arrested for allegedly aiding and abetting female genital mutilation (FGM) in eastern Uganda after reports of gangs attacking women in the region.

The suspects were taken into custody earlier this week after joint police and military operations in Kween district. The arrests followed local media reports of more than 400 women, some as young as 12, being mutilated by force by local gangs in the past month.

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