In 2005, Anthony Walker was killed in a horrific attack, aged just 18. His mother talks about grief, forgiveness and how his death changed her, ahead of a powerful new drama about his life

Fifteen years after 18-year-old Anthony Walker was murdered in a horrifyingly violent racist attack, his mother is still dealing with the fallout. On every anniversary, every birthday, Gee Walker says, she feels the pain afresh. She stops herself. She knows she is playing it down. No, she says, every day she feels the pain afresh. “The ifs and buts, the should haves/would haves/could-have-dones … they are always there. They never go. You can’t help thinking what if I’d done something right? What if I’d done this on the night? What if I’d stayed home and not asked him to babysit? What if I’d given him a lift? What if I’d got home a few minutes earlier?”

At about 11pm on 29 July 2005, Walker returned home from singing in the church choir. Anthony, the fourth of six children, had been babysitting his nephew, along with his girlfriend, Louise, and cousin Marcus. The two boys walked Louise to the bus stop. As the trio – the two black boys accompanying the white girl – passed the door of the Huyton Park pub, a 17-year-old called Michael Barton hurled racist abuse at the group. Huyton was known as a tough, almost exclusively white town in the borough of Knowsley, Merseyside. Anxious to prevent a confrontation, Anthony replied: “We’re only waiting for the bus and then we’re going.” When Barton said: “Walk, nigger, walk,” the group walked off to another bus stop. Barton then told his 20-year-old cousin Paul Taylor that he had “lost face”, and the two pursued them in a Peugeot car.