Category Archives: Life and style

How to fight ‘Covid fatigue’ as America heads for a deadly winter

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Polls suggest Americans are exhausted after months of restrictions, so we asked experts for advice on how to convince loved ones to stay safe ahead of the holidays

Fatigue with pandemic restrictions has hit many Americans at a time when it’s more important than ever that people take the virus seriously and stay home.

While the US contends with a huge surge in cases and record hospitalizations, federal inaction has forced local officials to adopt their own rules and messaging, creating a patchwork of confusing regulations that differ across the country, and are constantly changing. Polls suggest Americans are exhausted.

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My anxious partner won’t come home because of Covid | Dear Mariella

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Your partner is not prioritising you, but now is the time for understanding, says Mariella Frostrup, and to focus on your own life and mental health

The dilemma My partner and I have been separated by Covid for many weeks. I am living in our home, while he has moved out and is looking after his disabled adult daughter. The agreement was that when his daughter went back to her mother, he would return home.

However, the date seems ever-changing. Last week, this week and now next week. This is all down to his high anxiety regarding Covid. First, he delayed coming home because my son, who had recently had the virus, came for the weekend. He then delayed again because my son had met a friend so there could be infection on surfaces in the home for 28 days.

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Boris Johnson under pressure as scientists back tight rules for Christmas

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PM set to announce end to lockdown before trying to broker national agreement on family gatherings

Boris Johnson will meet his cabinet remotely on Sunday to decide how people will be able to gather with loved ones at Christmas, before the announcement of a new Covid winter plan.

The prime minister, who is self-isolating, will then confirm by video to parliament on Monday that national restrictions will end on 2 December and be replaced by the three-tier regional system, with even tighter controls in some areas.

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How we stay together: ‘There is no magic cookbook of relationships’

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Suzanne Harris and Tom McAtee may not agree on politics – but the pair’s pragmatism and ability to talk things out has kept them together for over three decades

Names: Suzanne Harris and Tom McAtee
Years together: 34
Occupations: social worker and HR consultant

When the going gets tough, Suzanne and Tom get into the garden. “In the times where we’ve not had much money, or there’ve been difficulties with work or jobs changing, we’ve gardened,” Suzanne says. “It’s a good way of releasing tension, of working together, planning and being creative.” Tom nods: “Gardening allowed us to be together, to be able to share that tense period together in a joint physical activity.”

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‘What he was doing was in plain sight’: more ex-models accuse Gérald Marie of sexual assault

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Exclusive: Another seven women come forward with allegations about the former Elite boss

Seven more women have come forward to accuse the former model agency boss Gérald Marie of sexual misconduct, adding to mounting allegations that have drawn parallels with the disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein.

Last month a Guardian investigation revealed that nine women had made sexual misconduct allegations against Marie, who for three decades was one of the most powerful men in the fashion industry.

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10 of the best Christmas songs (that aren’t by Mariah Carey)

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The classics are back in the charts even earlier than usual – alongside the perennial row about the Pogues. So why not discover these lesser-known festive bangers?

Judging by the number of trees and lights going up already, the UK is rounding off the worst year ever by turning Christmas 2020 into a six-week celebration of successful vaccine trials. Sure enough, sales and streams of festive songs are up by 50% compared with the same week last year, with Mariah Carey leading the charge and likely to go Top 40 tomorrow. But to avoid being thoroughly sick of All I Want for Christmas Is You before you have even opened an Advent calendar, consider adding these lesser-known tracks to your playlists.

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Map of the soul: how BTS rewrote the western pop rulebook

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Contrary to their dismissive framing as manufactured robots, South Korea’s BTS use social media, documentary and storytelling to make themselves into profoundly human stars

BTS’s leader RM looks up from under a black baseball cap, then stares back down at his hands. “Doing the promotional interviews, [I kept saying], ‘Music truly transcends every barrier.’ But even while I was saying it I questioned myself if I indeed believe it.”

It’s late September, and the rapper is confiding in over one million fans live from his Seoul studio. His “complex set of feelings” about the explosive, record-breaking success of Dynamite – the first fully English-language single from the South Korean megastars – is not the celebration you’d expect from a band that just topped the US Billboard Hot 100, the first K-pop act to do so. But this kind of frank, unfiltered conversation is exactly what their global “Army” fanbase love: BTS’s candid social media presence has included their fans in every step of their artistic journey, and, as they release new album Be this week, has made them the biggest pop group on the planet.

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When it comes to a family trauma, who gets to tell the story?

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When Fariha Róisín started writing Like a Bird, she thought the traumatic event at its heart was just a dream. She explores the weight of a family secret

In her 1861 account Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, Harriet Jacobs exposed her sexual abuse by her master with lucidity and truth. Yet for more than 100 years, it was accepted academic opinion that Incidents was a novel, written by white abolitionist Lydia Maria Child. It was not until the 1980s that critic Jean Fagan Yellin proved Jacobs to be the true author; Incidents had been autobiographical all along.

In Hollywood, rape narratives are largely penned by men and seen as a motif, because the tension (and tragedy) of the experience creates sympathy, compassion; it formalises emotion. When we see a woman raped and abused on film we absolve ourselves for watching, because we want to understand the ugliness of human atrocity, or so that’s what we say. And when women write about rape, often in literature, its seen as melodramatic, overemotional, too impossible to be true. “Primarily, rape is considered a women’s issue, though this is, of course, hardly the case,” writes poet Moniza Alvi, in the introduction to Feminism, Literature and Rape Narratives, “and perhaps this is partly why it is considered a literary taboo, particularly when conveyed from a female viewpoint.”

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That moule do nicely! 17 ways with mussels

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It’s an ingredient forgiving of an empty cupboard, can be treated in myriad ways, is relatively easy to cook and is utterly sustainable. Perfect!

Before mussels can be cooked, they must first be chosen. The process is a bit like selecting jurors for trial: you start with a random pool assembled by someone else, and eliminate any that are obviously disqualified – the broken, the dead. Some you can interrogate a little: tap any open mussels sharply against the side of the sink, and if they close up in response, they’re OK. One or two may be subject to peremptory challenge – you’re allowed to get rid of them without giving reasons, just because you don’t like the look of them. It’s not hard, but there’s a level of responsibility involved.

You also need to tug off their beards – generally a bit of whatever it is they were clinging on to when they were harvested, in most cases the rope they were grown on. Sometimes, they need a bit of scrubbing, but the mussels sold in nets on the supermarket fish counter are pretty clean – they’ve already been subjected to a level of abrading on your behalf. You can scrape off any remaining barnacles with the blunt edge of a butter knife, but honestly, unless you’re planning to photograph your dinner, I wouldn’t bother.

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Unilever sets target of €1bn in annual sales of plant-based foods

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Multinational plans to cash in on consumer trend towards reducing meat and dairy intake

Unilever is setting a target of €1bn (£900m) in annual sales of its plant-based foods through some of its best-known brands, as it seeks to cash in on the growing number of consumers reducing their meat and dairy intake.

The estimated five-fold sales growth over the next five to seven years will be driven by new products from The Vegetarian Butcher meat-free label, and bolstered by expansion of dairy-free ice cream and mayonnaise ranges from Ben & Jerry’s, Hellmann’s, Magnum and Wall’s.

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Quiet please! How to exercise in an upstairs flat – without annoying your neighbours

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No one wants a noise complaint due to a vigorous home HIIT session. Here experts give their tips on how to proceed, from hula-hooping to brushing up on your yoga

With gyms in England closed for the second time this year, neighbourly relations may have been strained by YouTube workouts and online high-intensity interval training (HIIT) sessions. Is that thundering on the floor in the flat above ever going to stop, or is it just the short bit where your upstairs neighbour does a few burpees before collapsing (another thud) in a heap? If you are the one making the noise, does the weight of your guilt count as extra resistance? For the sake of indoor exercisers and flat-dwellers everywhere, here are some expert tips on keeping the noise down.

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Blinking hell: how to keep tired eyes healthy during a pandemic

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Are you worried your vision has grown worse this year? You’re definitely not alone. But from the 20-20-20 rule to changing the size of your text, there are simple ways to address it

In the pandemic, our eyes are working harder than ever. With the majority of our communication nonverbal, and all but the upper third of our faces covered by masks, we are more reliant on them to express tone, emotion and even individuality, with a recent explosion in online tutorials for “mask makeup looks” emphasising long lashes, bright eyeshadows and statement liner.

Yet as we rely on our eyes to do the talking, we may also be putting them under greater strain. In June, a survey by the College of Optometrists, the professional body in the UK, found that 22% of people polled believed their vision had worsened during lockdown. The reason why they might feel this way is obvious: when the mask comes off, most of the time our gaze is trained on a screen.

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Harry Styles wore a dress on the cover of Vogue – and US rightwingers lost it

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The magazine made history by featuring the musician as its first-ever male cover star – but prominent conservatives voiced disapproval over what he was wearing

On Friday, storied fashion publication US Vogue made history by featuring British pop singer (and former One Direction heartthrob) Harry Styles as its first-ever male cover star.

The cover immediately sparked passionate conversations around masculinity and gendered dressing: Styles dons a voluminous periwinkle blue gown paired with a black tuxedo jacket (both designed by Gucci).

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‘It was love at first sight’: readers on their new lockdown pets

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From a charming cockatiel to cuddly guinea pigs, here are some of the pets you welcomed into your homes during lockdown

My wife was firmly in the ‘cats, not dogs’ camp but our children wanted a dog. When lockdown came chinks appeared in my wife’s armour and I picked up Juno the goldador (a cross breed between a golden retriever and a labrador). It was love at first sight. My wife mocks my devotion. In particular, she laughs at the adoring gaze, once reserved for her, that she says crosses my face several times a day. I have already spent more time picking up poo than I had ever envisaged I might do in my life. But I rarely complain. Our lives were full of joy before Juno, now there’s just a little more around. Adam Montgomery, 54, leadership trainer and coach, Malvern

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How we met: ‘She was the love of my life – but she had to focus on getting sober’

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Brooks Almy, 70 and Maurizio Papalia, 67, met on a cruise ship in the 70s. After years apart, they reunited in 2008 and now live with their dog and cat in Italy

Brooks Almy joined a cruise ship in 1977 to work in theatre. She was introduced to Maurizio Papalia, an Italian nurse who had also taken a job onboard. “We had a really nice connection straight away,” she says. They spent the next four months as a couple, sailing around Mexico and the Caribbean. When Brooks’s contract came to an end, they tried to make it work. “I came back to shore every few weeks,” says Maurizio. “But two months later I had to go back to Italy. We were both upset, but decided to keep in touch.” Without email or affordable travel, it became difficult, so they agreed to start dating other people.

In 1978, Maurizio married an English woman and had a child, but by 1984 their relationship was over. By that time, Brooks had moved to New York to pursue a career on Broadway. “I went to see her and the connection was still there,” says Maurizio. The pair started dating again, but their happiness was short-lived. “I was a very heavy drinker at the time,” says Brooks. “I’ve been in addiction recovery for 35 years, but at the time I was crashing hard. I went to meet Maurizio in Italy in 1985, but I was in an extremely fragile state.”

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Rafaella Carrà: the Italian pop star who taught Europe the joy of sex

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A new jukebox musical of Carrà’s songs caps a 60-year career for a cultural icon who revolutionised Italian entertainment – and gave women agency in the bedroom

At the beginning of Explota Explota, a new Spanish-Italian jukebox musical comedy set at the tail end of the Franco dictatorship in 1970s Spain, airport employee Maria is making a delivery at a TV studio when she catches the attention of Chimo, the director of a variety show. When she tells him she’s not a dancer, he replies: “No dancer with blood flowing in their veins can resist this rhythm.”

He plays her Bailo Bailo, a hit by Italian pop star Raffaella Carrà, who, on top of becoming one of the best known personalities in her native Italy, ended up a sensation in the 20th-century Spanish-speaking world. Where Sweden had Abba, Italy had Carrà, who sold millions of records across Europe. Sure enough, Maria can’t resist Bailo Bailo, and Chimo hires her.

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Working from home made my descent into decrepitude harder to avoid | Elizabeth Quinn

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Confronted by my reflection at every turn, I armed myself with expensive beauty products

I have a theory – largely untested – that everyone is mentally “stuck” at a certain age: the one that best reflects their outlook. Mine is 17. At my core, I see myself as youthful, enthusiastic and not yet tainted by the bitterness of experience. I’m optimistic and forward-looking. A woman in my prime.

But increasingly, the face and form I see reflected back in the mirror are none of those things. At first I blame harsh lighting for my transformation. Then I realise it’s natural light coming in from the skylight, not the gentle artificial light of a boutique store change room. There is, quite simply, nowhere to hide.

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‘All I want is chocolate’: Jamie Oliver and other top chefs on their Christmas wish lists

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Tinned fish, ceramic tableware and cornettos – Santa’s sack is full of unusual treats for our chefs and food writers

Bread, cheese… and gin
Jamie Oliver, celebrity chef and author

A couple of loaves of Coombeshead Farm bread. The crust is exceptional, it’s nutty, chewy and malty. Toast it up with some good butter, it heats like a dream and will last for a week. Have it with some good cheese and a glass of wine or beer, it’s just heaven and a meal in itself.

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I feel bullied and hopeless. How can I find happiness? | Dear Mariella

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Go back to therapy and use the skills to better understand yourself and combat self loathing, says Mariella Frostrup

The dilemma I am a woman in my 30s. On paper I am bright – an Oxford graduate with a slew of prestigious qualifications, extracurricular achievements and a fairly successful career. The reality is I just feel pathetic, ignorant and gormless. I’ve got to where I am because I’m adept at analysing and memorising information, while clearly lacking other types of intelligence. I was bullied in school and continue to be bullied in adult life, which to me reinforces how pathetic I am.

I am very physically and socially clumsy, can’t understand body language, have trouble processing what people are saying and take things literally. This has led people to comment that I am autistic. I have never sought a formal diagnosis because I do not want to use it as an excuse or even a weapon, which I’ve seen other autistic women do.

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