Category Archives: Life and style

Bedroom confidential: what sex therapists hear from the couch

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Sex counsellors have a unique insight into our shared concerns and insecurities. Where once they focused on physical issues, now they are tackling psychological ones

Denise Knowles, a sex and relationship therapist with the charity Relate, says patients often say to her: “There are so many options, I don’t know where to start.” Thirty years ago, Knowles was mostly approached with physical problems: erectile dysfunction, painful intercourse, issues with ejaculation. Now she describes the scope of her work as “bio-psycho-social”. That is to say, everything has got a lot more complicated.

“I think it has gone from being very much: ‘This is the problem; this is how we resolve it,’ to: ‘How do we approach sex? What does it mean to you? How does it fit into the relationship, and how have you got to this place?’” She laughs. “Then we can start to deal with it.”

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Historic lost garden in Kent to be opened to the public

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Walmer Castle’s overgrown glen, dating from the 19th century, has been revived

An abandoned chalk pit, which has been an impenetrably dense jungle of bramble, gorse and fallen trees for more than a century will this month be revealed as an extraordinary lost garden created by two former prime ministers.

The lost garden of Walmer Castle in Kent was laid out in the early 19th century by William Pitt the Younger and completed by Lord Liverpool.

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‘It’s not just a wolf whistle’: how catcalls became anti-harassment street art

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With teenage girls a particular target of street harassment, Farah Benis is on a mission to document incidents and raise awareness

CatcallsofLdn is an Instagram account that raises awareness about street harassment using chalk art. Inspired by and working with @catcallsofnyc, founder Farah Benis collects submissions from the public then chalks them onto the pavement in the place where they happened. The hope is that chalking, documenting and sharing images of the words will help to raise awareness of street harassment and ultimately prevent it.

72% of submissions are from under 17-year-olds, 60% of those were wearing school uniforms and 100% of the perpetrators were adult men

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Murder on the allotment: ‘She was everything that he wanted to be’

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She was the respected allotment committee secretary, he was an ambitious fellow plot holder: why did he kill her?

In a corner of London, close to the busy Edgware Road, there is a secret garden. Tucked away on a residential street, the gate has the words “Colindale Gardens and Allotments Association” messily painted on a white plank tied to the chain-link fencing. Beyond the gate is a broad expanse of grass and earth, of greenhouses, sheds, canes and polytunnels. You can hear the occasional rumble of a train, and in the distance you can see cranes constructing blocks of flats to house the next generation of gardenless Londoners. But the space here is so peaceful, so lush and full of birdsong, that you almost forget where you are.

The Colindale allotments are home to 90 long plots, mostly 20 metres by eight, arranged along two parallel grass avenues. The rules say sheds can be put up only on the end farthest from the path, giving the space the look of a miniature suburban neighbourhood, with plots in front of sheds instead of lawns in front of houses. A plot costs £85 a year. There are currently 60 people on the waiting list.

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From the joke shop to the high street: why poo is no longer taboo

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It’s celebrated in emojis, party bags and board games, piled on cup cakes and meringues – and there’s even a museum dedicated to it. How did we get here?

‘I was a little hesitant about setting up the National Poo Museum,” begins Daniel Roberts, co-creator of the Isle of Wight’s most intriguing new tourist destination. “I thought, am I going to be socially contaminated? Are people going to point at me? Am I going to become Mr Poo?”

He needn’t have worried. The museum’s exhibits – encased in balls of resin, like something from a slightly troubling reimagining of Jurassic Park – were a hit. During the year in which the attraction was housed at the Isle of Wight Zoo, the zoo reported its busiest-ever summer. “People just loved it,” Roberts says. “We were nobodies, but because we mentioned poo, the whole world came running.” The museum’s arrival couldn’t have been better timed because, as Roberts puts it: “In the two years since we launched, we’ve seen an explosion in poo.”

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Penny Mordaunt says UK will defend abortion rights amid global pushback

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Development secretary vows government will ‘hold a strong line’, after attempts by Trump administration to weaken commitments

Britain’s international development secretary has promised to stand firm in her support for abortion rights in the face of growing opposition.

Speaking at an event hosted by the Canadian embassy on Monday, Penny Mordaunt said: “Leadership means not shying away from issues like safe abortion when the evidence shows us these services will save women’s lives.”

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Why dark-skinned black girls like me aren’t getting married

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Black women in the US marry less than others - and the numbers are even lower for darker skinned black women. Is colorism – favoring lighter skin – to blame? Dream McClinton puts herself on the line to report

I take a deep breath and ready my fingers. I admonish myself for being theatrical about something so mundane. Another deep breath.

“Here we go,” I mutter, pressing enter.

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The upside down: inside Manhattan’s Lowline subterranean park

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In two years’ time, the Lower East Side will be home to the world’s first underground ‘green’ space – the Lowline

To get a glimpse of what will eventually become the Lowline, a subterranean Eden being billed as the world’s first underground park, you have to swipe your MetroCard at the Lower East Side’s Delancey Street station, go down one flight of stairs, go down another, slither through a few characteristically congested subway corridors, and then up another flight, to the J train platform.

Here, in the crucible of Manhattan’s public transportation system, with its slow, industrial wheeze, is an abandoned space the size of a football field. Seventy years ago it was the Williamsburg Bridge trolley terminal, transporting city folk between boroughs. But since 1948 it’s existed in a state of dark, musty desertion, save for tall metal columns, a few men in hazmat suits and the outlines of the balloon loops in which the trolleys once turned, which will be integrated into the park’s walkways.

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Punch-ups and party splits: what reporting on Brexit has taught me | Anushka Asthana

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These are the lessons I’ve learned in chaotic political times

Ever since I joined the lobby of parliamentary reporters 10 years ago, politics has been going through feverish times. In the final 36 hours before the 2015 election, I remember standing in an Asda warehouse at 2am, eight months pregnant in a hi-vis jacket, trying to keep my eyes open as I interviewed David Cameron, then the prime minister, on camera. It can’t get more intense than this, I thought. Then I joined the Guardian as political editor in March 2016 and the ground beneath my feet hasn’t stopped moving. Last year I became presenter of the Guardian’s Today in Focus podcast, but a large part of my job still involves reporting on the upheavals of Brexit. Here are a few things covering this spectacularly chaotic political era has taught me.

Passions are riding high
I recently heard a centre-right remainer MP casually describe a staunch Brexiter as a racist. An aide sniped back: “And you’re the worst politician in the country!” Soon after, I was standing in a television green room, a mini sandwich in one hand, when the row erupted again. The aide stormed in, spoiling for a fight, almost squaring up to the MP. For a minute I was back at university in the middle of a nightclub standoff. It ended with an apology, but it was an altercation that wouldn’t have happened a year ago. So much about the mood of politics has changed. Look at Labour peer Andrew Adonis, transformed from measured technocrat into tub-thumping remain zealot. Look at the new wave of activists. I met a 64-year-old woman outside parliament wrapped in an EU flag; she said she had never protested before. Nearby, another woman of a similar age told me she would riot if Brexit did not happen. The abuse directed at MPs is not new, but it is worse than ever. I spent a day with former Tory Anna Soubry, and by 11am she had received two death threats. Committed Brexiters have faced similar.

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Troye Sivan: ‘I have to get comfortable with being effeminate’

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The former YouTuber turned musician and actor talks about sudden stardom, queer pride and life as a showman

Troye Sivan is posing in full view of the street, delighting the small groups of teenagers who stop outside the photo studio to gawp. Some of them know who he is. The rest can tell he must be Someone. The South African-born Australian, 23, is as luminous as a cherub and has no qualms about giving it his best Rodin: foot perched on a starry plinth, trousers gaping around his slim frame.

Sivan has been preparing to be looked at since before puberty. As of last year, he is a pop star – not quite a household name, but big enough to command an invitation from Taylor Swift to duet on her recent US tour, and a guest spot from old friend Ariana Grande on his 2018 album Bloom. Critics compared Bloom’s euphoric synth-pop to cult Swedish pop star Robyn (the ecstatic My My My!) and 4AD goths This Mortal Coil (The Good Side, a spectral break-up ballad). He’s also an actor, recently lauded for his supporting role in the gay conversion therapy drama Boy Erased, with Nicole Kidman and Lucas Hedges.

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Paul Kagame orders release of women and girls jailed over abortion in Rwanda

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Women’s rights activists welcome presidential pardon of 367 female prisoners as evidence of progress

Rwanda’s president has pardoned hundreds of girls and women jailed for abortion.

The women are expected to be released immediately under the presidential prerogative.

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Designers behind Princess Awesome to launch gender-neutral clothing for boys

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Crowdfunding campaign for Boy, Wonder reaches 50% of target funding in first hour

A children’s clothing company which revolutionised gender-neutral clothing for girls has turned their attention to boys, launching a crowdfunding campaign on Tuesday that reached 50% of its funding aim in the first hour.

Frustrated that they couldn’t find shirts for their five sons with unicorns on them or bright colours, animals, sparkles and rainbows, Eva St Clair and Rebecca Melsky decided to make them themselves.

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Ads about bus stop harassment and ‘bonus wives’ normalise sexism | Rosebell Kagumire

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In the race to attract customers, Ugandan firms show scant regard for the intimidation faced by women on a daily basis

Uganda’s leading telecom company MTN has launched a new advert. It depicts a scene at a city bus stop, which in Uganda we call a stage.

A man approaches the stage, where two women are sitting on benches, one either end. Before he takes his seat between them, he launches into some forced conversation with one of the women reading a magazine. Before the woman responds, the man moves closer to her. The second woman looks on, perhaps just curious, but perhaps concerned.

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‘Peasant revolt’ at earl’s bid to build flats on allotments

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Anger at attempt by ‘green aristocrat’ Earl Percy to develop wilderness site in London

It is a row that the scion of one of Britain’s oldest aristocratic families could rather do without as he carves out a career promoting his green credentials.

And, gallingly for the Percy dynasty (one of whose ancestors was the inspiration for Blackadder’s half-witted sidekick, Lord Percy) much of it has been self-inflicted. In the one camp is Earl Percy, friend to Wills and Kate and owner of Syon House, a historic Grade-I listed pile in west London where Henry VIII’s body once lay in state.

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Bauhaus: 100 years old but still ubiquitous in our homes today

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How a revolutionary idea became our go-to way of living.

Shop the look: our pick from the high street

Spending a night at the hallowed Bauhaus school in Dessau, in the German state of Saxony-Anhalt, was my teenage dream come true. The walls of my childhood bedroom were plastered not with posters of pop stars, but with the furniture manufacturer Vitra’s wall chart of iconic 20th-century chairs. As a design geek, growing up in a house bedecked with Laura Ashley, I found the idea of the Bauhaus thrilling: each chair was a mini manifesto, embodying the world of stripped-back modern design that I might one day inhabit (I’m still waiting).

Yet, almost 20 years later, when I got to stay in Josef Albers’ former bedroom in the Bauhaus dormitory block, surrounded by chairs and lamps designed by the school’s various luminaries, it felt disappointingly like a sleepover in an Ikea showroom. There was a stack of four coloured nesting tables in one corner, of the kind readily available from Habitat for £95, but these were in fact Albers’ original version, designed in 1924, now reissued by the German manufacturer Klein & More – yours for £1,614 (from connox.co.uk). In another corner stood a simple bent tubular steel chair by Mart Stam, of the unremarkable sort you find in restaurants and meeting rooms around the world. There was a steel coat stand, too, which I thought betrayed the hand of Marcel Breuer – but which turned out to be from Ikea.

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David Bailey: ‘Deneuve said it’s great we’re divorced – now we can be lovers!’

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As he powers into his 80s, the photographer recalls shooting everyone from Kate Moss to Andy Warhol, shares his regrets over voting leave – and reveals how Gordon Brown pulled a fast one on him

‘You look knackered,” says David Bailey, greeting me at his studio. It’s up a small mews and sprawls so casually across two floors that it still feels like the 60s inside. “Look at you,” he says. “Your buttons aren’t even done up right.” I look down at my jacket: that bit is true. But I tell him: “I’m not tired!”

“I was watching you walking along the street,” he says. “I thought, ‘That must be the journalist, she looks knackered.’” The combination of acuity (he must be right: he is, after all, the one who makes a living with his eyes) and demonic overfamiliarity (by this point, we are holding hands; I have no idea who started it) is disarming. If this is his shtick, it’s working on me, totally and overwhelmingly. Or maybe he has a tailored shtick for everyone he meets.

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US accused of trying to dilute global agreements on women’s rights

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Draft documents suggest US will refuse to reaffirm commitment to international declaration on women’s rights at New York forum

US officials in New York are attempting to water down language and remove the word “gender” from documents being negotiated at the UN, in what is being seen as a threat to international agreements on women’s rights.

In negotiations at the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), which resume at UN headquarters this week, the US wants to replace “gender” in the forum’s outcome document with references only to women and girls.

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Good enough to eat? The toxic truth about modern food

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We are now producing and consuming more food than ever, and yet our modern diet is killing us. How can we solve this bittersweet dilemma?

Pick a bunch of green grapes, wash it, and put one in your mouth. Feel the grape with your tongue, observe how cold and refreshing it is: the crisp flesh, and the jellylike interior with its mild, sweet flavour.

Eating grapes can feel like an old pleasure, untouched by change. The ancient Greeks and Romans loved to eat them, as well as to drink them in the form of wine. The Odyssey describes “a ripe and luscious vine, hung thick with grapes”. As you pull the next delicious piece of fruit from its stalk, you could easily be plucking it from a Dutch still life of the 17th century, where grapes are tumbled on a metal platter with oysters and half-peeled lemons.

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