He is not a big name among dogfluencers, but whenever I felt stressed, something about this pekingese Instagram pup calmed me
On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, went the New Yorker cartoon. Nearly 30 years later, it says so in your profile.
My Instagram feed is full of dogs, or people posting as their dogs from their own accounts. Some I know well, like my sister’s sweet but vacant pug Margot.
Continue reading...Is there something great you have always wanted to do, but fear has held you back? Make 2022 the year you go for it
The “comfort zone” is a reliable place of retreat, especially in times of stress – living through a global pandemic, for instance. But psychologists have long ƒextolled the benefits of stepping outsideit, too. The clinical psychologist Roberta Babb advises regularly reviewing how well it is serving you. The comfort zone can, she says, become a prison or a trap, particularly if you are there because of fear and avoidance.
Babb says people can be “mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, occupationally” stimulated by facing their fears or trying something uncomfortable. “Adaptation and stimulation are important parts of our wellbeing, and a huge part of our capacity to be resilient. We can get stagnant, and it is about growing and finding different ways to be, which then allows us to have a different life experience.”
Continue reading...Donor profiles sparked long conversations about the values we wanted for our child. The guys who wanted to ‘spread their genes’? Definitely out
Surrounded by glittering Christmas lights, in between sips of red wine, my friend made me a very decent proposal. “My sperm,” he said. “You can have it if you like.” We’d been catching up over festive drinks and the topic of kids came up, as it does when you are in your 30s. My partner – now wife – and I had started thinking about having a family, I’d told my friend. We had two wombs and a bunch of eggs; we just needed to figure out the rest of the baby-making equation. So he offered to sort that bit out for us, no strings (or body appendages) attached.
My wife and I thought about that offer a lot over the next few months. No offence to heterosexuals (some of my best friends are straight), but I don’t envy you most of the time. However, I am jealous of the fertile straight couples who don’t have to do anything more complicated than jump into bed when they decide they want kids. Instead of getting undressed, my wife and I went online. We researched, researched, researched. Should we go for a known donor such as my friend? Or would it be better to go to a sperm bank?
Continue reading...I had plumbing problems and his radio show transported me from the faecal hellscape in my garden. It became the ideal soundtrack for my pandemic reality
It was spring, and human excrement was pumping into our garden. I watched through the window as a perplexed young plumber with a long metal pole excavated the dark, gurgling drain. As if lockdown hadn’t been bad enough, our kitchen was now heavy with the stench of a thousand flushes. No one knew how to stop it. There was only one thing to do: brew weapons-grade black coffee and switch on the radio. That’s how I discovered Huey Morgan’s Saturday morning breakfast show on BBC 6 Music. It made everything feel a little more right in the world.
What started as a way to distract from the tide of hot, liquid excrement on our patio quickly became the highlight of the week for my girlfriend and me. Huey – of Fun Lovin’ Criminals fame – thumbing you through his records: early 90s rap, early 80s disco, and early 70s soul to blow away the cobwebs, with choice modern selections marbling the retro soundscape.
Continue reading...I have finally admitted that my hair has gone for ever, and taken great comfort from the reigning king of baldness
This year will go down in history as the year I went bald. Well, actually, 2018 went down as the year I went bald. But still, 2021 will go down as the year that I stopped fastidiously brushing three long wisps of cobweb over my scalp in the berserk belief that it somehow made me look less bald. I am bald now. Hello.
Obviously, being bald is rubbish. A bad roll of the genetic dice means I am now conclusively unattractive in the eyes of most of the world. Of course I am – I’m 85% forehead now. I can never go out and commit a crime, because a witness would only have to draw a face on their thumb and show it to the Photofit guy and I’d be in handcuffs by teatime.
Continue reading...‘It has to be recognised as a term and as a crime’, says government opposition, after unprecedented number of women murdered by partners
The Greek government has come under growing pressure to introduce femicide as an offence in the country’s penal code amid outrage over the growing and unprecedented number of women being brutally murdered by their partners.
Two women were murdered by their husbands within five days last week, bringing the death toll to 17 since January, according to state-run television. Both men allegedly told police that they had killed their wives out of fear that they would leave them.
Continue reading...The night of the party, I put my heartbreak aside. With nothing to lose, I walked up to a man and told him he was the most handsome one in the room
In a warehouse in Ladywood, Birmingham, with a papier-mache spine down my back and breath like a dustpan, I walked up to a man and said, without any preamble: “You are the most handsome man at this party.”
It was December 2004, the theme of the party was dinosaurs and, being a fan of puns, I had decided to go as a thesaurus. In my little room in Lupton Flats – the cheapest halls of residence at Leeds University at the time – I’d sat on the floor, beside my single bed, and patiently glued down layers of paper into a string of points. Reluctant to sacrifice my actual thesaurus, I had rooted around my reading list for another book, eventually choosing The French Lieutenant’s Woman. Listening to Stevie Wonder’s Innervisions and drinking PG Tips, it had taken me at least two hours to make the dinosaur spine, which would attach around my neck like a backwards pendant. Slipping it on and looking in the mirror, I wondered if anyone would even notice me.
Continue reading...Loneliness is significant mental health concern and can raise risk of death by 45%, say scientists
Contact with nature in cities significantly reduces feelings of loneliness, according to a team of scientists.
Loneliness is a major public health concern, their research shows, and can raise a person’s risk of death by 45% – more than air pollution, obesity or alcohol abuse.
Continue reading...What a ride! The huskies and I were travelling as one – who knew such magical transport existed? More than anything I’ve tried, this experience has stayed with me
I have a dream: that dream is to ride a dog like a horse. That isn’t possible. But I’ve heard the next best thing is possible, which is why I’m freezing in a field in Tewkesbury. Gloucestershire may not be Lapland but it’s where you can try mushing, organised by Arctic Quest. Single-handedly charioteering a sled powered by huskies? Sounds like a Christmas miracle to me. I gape in awe, as countless lupine beasts emerge from a trailer, yelping with excitement. It’s a few weeks before Omicron gathers strength, and I’m here for one last shot at feeling free.
Vickie Pullin – a superb candidate for nominative determinism – set up Arctic Quest, and is a former world champion dog-sledder in four divisions, an achievement never equalled. (You have to be driven to get into husky sledding, ironically.) She has 36 dogs in total, all smaller than I imagined, total cuties with names like Azera, Frappe, Mocha and Cino. It would sound like a sitcom premise, were it not for Pullin’s no-nonsense demeanour. “The blue-eyed, fluffy husky thing? Hollywood PR,” she snorts.
Continue reading...We had been looking forward to watching unlimited television, but the set was on the blink. Then came a knock at the door …
On Christmas Eve, a cheque arrived from our father so that our mother could get presents. She laughed bitterly and ripped it up.
“But what will we thank him for?” cried my sister.
Continue reading...When Wesley Rowell realised he was gay, he swapped church for the library, and became a performer. Then, in his seventh decade, he heard the call to join a seminary
Wesley Rowell hoped to make it as an opera singer. A bass-baritone, he supported his ambitions and auditions with singing jobs in churches in Chicago and New York, and as a luxury salesperson, selling expensive pots of face cream. Then, at 60, he found a different kind of voice – and started seminary at Princeton with a mission to “reclaim God’s queerness”.
No one was more surprised than Rowell, who is now 61. “If somebody said to me three years ago: ‘You’ll be going to a seminary,’ it would have been a ridiculous joke.” His mother, however, “a very serene, soft” 91-year-old, “just smiled and said: ‘Well, I guess your grandmother was right.’” Rowell’s grandfather was a minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Zion church in the family’s hometown of Fayetteville, North Carolina, and his grandmother had raised the possibility that one of the grandchildren might follow that path.
Tell us: has your life taken a new direction after the age of 60?
Continue reading...For the past few weeks, I’ve been getting ready for Christmas. As well as putting the tree up ridiculously early, I’ve made the cake, bought the presents and assembled the stockings. Even though my children no longer believe in Santa, the crinkle of my dad’s old golf socks stuffed full of presents on Christmas morning still makes their faces light up.
But this year, for the first time since they were born, I won’t be there to celebrate with them. I’m leaving my husband Fred, daughter Inès, 15, and son Vincent, 12, to row 3,000 miles across the Atlantic as part of the annual Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge. My four-woman crew of mothers is called the Mothership, and between us we have 11 children, the youngest of whom is four.
Continue reading...It was the last week of my junior high school, so probably June 1974. After the summer I would be heading to senior school. The last week was pretty relaxed and one of our science teachers suggested we bring in board games and the like, since there was no actual teaching to be done.
Continue reading...The London-born photographer on his image of Gambian football fans
There’s a strong Premier League following in the Gambia: just like Brunel Johnson, 14-year-old Musa is an Arsenal fan. The London-born photographer was on his way to lunch when he noticed the teen, in his favourite football shirt, huddled with friends. They were on the grounds of Spot Academy, watching game highlights on one of the older kids’ phones.
Brunel had been living alongside the boys for two weeks, documenting the work of the charity, which serves as a community school while providing boarding places for orphans. He’d left his digital camera in his room and knew the moment would pass if he went back for it. So he reached for his iPhone. The photograph’s angle was a spur-of-the-moment decision, chosen simply to fit as many faces in as possible; he added the black and white “Noir” filter later.
Continue reading...The Pogues frontman on vanity, a horrible heckle and why he became a vegetarian
Born in Kent, MacGowan, 63, won a scholarship to Westminster school, but was later expelled. In 1982, he became frontman of the Pogues; the band’s albums include Rum Sodomy and the Lash and If I Should Fall from Grace with God. MacGowan co-wrote the song Fairytale of New York, which he performed with Kirsty MacColl; released in 1987, it remains a festive classic. He has launched his own line of merchandise on his website. He lives in Dublin with his wife, the writer Victoria Mary Clarke.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Myself – why not?
If Omicron threatens to disrupt your plans, don’t panic – here’s a guide to making the best of it
So here we are again. Out are the plans to dust off your dancing shoes at the Christmas party, and in is the stockpiling of toilet rolls and boxes of chocolates for the long nights ahead.
With a “staggering” increase in Covid cases accelerated by the spread of the Omicron variant predicted by medical advisers this week, many people are fearing that they will once again face Christmas in not-so-splendid isolation.
Continue reading...He has made a career out of winding people up in everything from The Office to his Golden Globes speeches – but is the comedian’s bark worse than his bite?
Ricky Gervais’s assistant leads me past a huge, empty room to the top floor of an office above a shop on a swanky London high street. Gervais is sitting behind a desk at his computer in another huge, empty room, and looks as if he’s just squatted the place. There is nothing that suggests this is his office, except for the branded mugs sitting on his desk; one shows his face, the second says Tambury Gazette, the fictional newspaper where Gervais’s character, Tony, works in his hit Netflix series After Life.
As soon as he sees me, he swings his legs off the floor and on to the desk. I expect him to say, “Right, shoot”, as his fabulous fictional creation David Brent might have done, but he reins himself in. It’s 20 years since Gervais made his name with The Office, and it’s often been difficult to know where Brent ends and Gervais begins.
Continue reading...Instructing our kitten to use the cat flap was hard enough … even before it was terrified by two foxes having very loud sex
It is a frosty morning and I am standing in the kitchen in bare feet, holding the door open for the cat. The cat dips its head low, studying the world across the threshold.
“Faster, pussycat,” I say. The cat sniffs at the cold air swirling in from the garden, but does not move. I begin to close the door very slowly, in a bid to create a shrinking decision window. In the space of two months the kitten has grown into a tall-eared, spooky-looking thing that I sometimes find standing on my chest staring down at me in the dead of night, its nose a millimetre from mine. It doesn’t fear the dog or the tortoise, but it’s still pretty wary of outside.
Continue reading...You need to talk about your feelings of guilt and insecurity so you can start to forgive yourself
I’m 26 years old, and have been having a really hard time in the past few months due to a breakup I brought upon myself.
Last year I started a long-distance relationship with a girl. I loved her, but felt I was constantly struggling with my emotions and honesty due to my insecurity. This caused me to be needy, desperate and always seeking some sort of validation from her, and we had a few breaks because of this.
Continue reading...Both have experienced being treated as outsiders in the UK, but can they broach one of Britain’s most divisive topics?
Batuhan, 22, Bournemouth
Occupation Support worker and neuropsychology master’s student
Voting record Batuhan is not eligible to vote in the UK. In the last Turkish local government elections, he voted for the centre-left Republican People’s party
Amuse bouche Huge fan of basketball; supports any team LeBron James is playing for