Fran Lebowitz: ‘If people disagree with me, so what?’

With a hit Netflix series and The Fran Lebowitz Reader now published in the UK, the American wit talks about failing to write, her dislike of Andy Warhol and her best friend Toni Morrison

Fran Lebowitz is a famous writer who famously doesn’t write. “I’m really lazy and writing is really hard and I don’t like to do hard things,” she says, and it’s the rare writer who would not have some sympathy with that. Yet, as all writers also know, writer’s block, which the 70-year-old has suffered from for four decades now, is never really about laziness. Lebowitz’s editor Erroll McDonald (“the man with the easiest job in New York”) has said she suffers from “excessive reverence for the written word”.

Given that Lebowitz has, at last count, more than 11,000 of them in her apartment, there is no question that she loves books. “I would never throw away a book – there are human beings I would rather throw out of the window,” she says. So is this talk of “excessive reverence” a euphemistic way of saying that she has low self-esteem and doesn’t think she can write anything good enough to commit to print?

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Vaccine wars: how the decision not to get the shot is tearing loved ones apart

When friends and family disagree about getting vaccinated, close ties can fray. Some siblings have even stopped talking to each other

Megan, a 30-year-old from rural Nebraska, feels torn. She hasn’t been vaccinated against Covid-19, but if left to her own devices, things would be different. She worries about what would happen if she caught the virus and passed it on to her toddler daughter, whose history of health complications includes hospitalization for lung problems. Megan feels a responsibility to protect her child. But she also doesn’t want to keep secrets from her husband – who, along with his mother, is adamantly against the vaccine for political reasons. (All names in this story have been changed.)

As she figures out how to protect herself and her daughter without inciting major family conflict, Megan admits that her husband’s reliance on conspiracy theories he learns from like-minded friends or social media posts has made it difficult to trust him. Especially now.

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Get off my lettuce! Three quick ways to deter snails without poison

Copper, coffee and beer come together in a cumulative effort to keep pests out of your patch

Anyone who has ever had a tree get in the way of a breathtaking view or pending development approval will know the consequence of a copper coin – come on, we’re all aware of this nasty poisoning tactic! But did you know that copper can be used to kill other stuff too, like pesky snails and slugs?

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‘Sleep is venture capital’: employers wake up to benefits of a nap

After lockdown some businesses understand better how flexible working hours enhance productivity

A three-hour break in the middle of the working day for a languorous lunch, followed by a restorative nap sounds like the Mediterranean dream, but employers in Spain are increasingly moving away from this rigid schedule, which for many workers feels more like a nightmare.

The merits of introducing the siesta in the UK have been hotly debated this week after the National Trust unveiled plans to move towards “Mediterranean working hours” at some sites in the south-east, to help cope with rising annual temperatures.

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What will our eco-friendly homes of the future look like?

The planet-saving innovations available, and which are most likely to be used in UK houses

As we argue over heat pumps and electric car charging sockets here in the UK, it is undeniable that most of our homes have a long way to go to be eco-friendly.

To reach net zero, we are going to have to change how we heat our houses. The way they are built will probably have to change, too. Perhaps the ubiquitous squat brick suburban house will become a thing of the past. Hopefully so will our Victorian pipe system and, for those of us who rent, our ancient boilers which make a disturbing noise.

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Experience: I was attacked by two sharks at once

The great white swiped for my head, but missed, because another had got there first

It was a warm winter’s day in South Africa and I planned to go surfing at Nahoon Reef. I was 15 and had just finished my first day back at school after the winter break. The reef is famous among surfers for its powerful waves and popularity with sharks. If you see lots of birds diving into the reef or notice a strong fishy smell in the air, you should not surf there.

But on that day in July 2000, the waves were perfect, just over head high, and there was no wind. The water was warm for winter, too. The conditions were too good to resist.

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Parmesan and Pop-Tarts: 17 foods you’ve probably never frozen – but really should

From spinach to sandwiches, here’s how to reclaim your freezer from loose peas and crystal-encrusted lollies, to instantly improve your life in the kitchen

If there is one skill I wish I was better at, it’s freezer optimisation. Right now, my freezer is a mess of ice cubes and lollies and roughly a ton of loose peas, leaving me without enough room to freeze things that are actually useful. Getting your freezer organised is a great idea, so allow me to list all the things you can freeze, but probably don’t. Honestly, this list is as much for me as it is for you.

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Fashion brands sign new deal on Bangladesh garment workers’ safety

Campaigners and union leaders praise accord, which replaces one agreed after 2013 Rana Plaza fire

Campaigners have hailed a new agreement designed to protect garment workers in Bangladesh, signed by the likes of H&M and Inditex, which owns Zara and Bershka.

The accord replaces another agreement signed by more than 200 international fashion companies after the Rana Plaza factory fire in 2013, in which more than 1,100 people died. For the first time, these companies faced legal action if their health and safety standards were found lacking or if they did not address problems in an agreed time period. More than 38,000 inspections have been carried out since 2013, and nearly 200 factories have lost their contracts owing to poor safety standards.

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‘I’m one of them’: the FGM survivor providing a lifeline in Leeds

Stigma can stop women seeking help but Hawa Bah, who was cut at eight, reaches those suffering in silence to get them the care they need


One night 14 years ago, Hawa Bah crept out of her house in Guinea and slipped into the darkness. She says she had lost count but it may have been her 14th or 15th escape attempt from an abusive marriage she was forced into with a man 37 years her senior.

Bah made her way through a maze of streets to the meeting point where a car was waiting with two strangers inside. When they took her to the airport, Bah felt her heart beating through her chest. She had not realised until then that she would be leaving her country. Aged 17, she had no belongings and no idea where she was going.

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A moment that changed me: the shock of being beaten by teenage fascists

Violence, when it happens, is clumsy and banal. The possibility of a repeat kicking lurked around every corner and the hometown I loved was cast in sinister hues

The first time I was beaten up in the street I was 16 and had intervened when a boy tried to throw a friend of mine through a shop window. The third time, I had my nose broken at 2am in Luton for laughing when three jeering lads called me “John Travolta” (a reference to Grease, presumably; I was going through a big Rocket From The Crypt phase).

But the second time was the most significant. It was 1993, the summer before I failed my A-levels majestically, and two friends, D and M, and I were stumbling home several miles from a Durham nightclub (whose door was run by a young Dominic Cummings) back to our estate outside a north-east town. We were innocent indie kids; we played in punk bands, changed hairstyles regularly and took absolutely nothing seriously save for books, music and high times. We were not fighters. Life was for laughing at.

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Tiffany solicits help of Beyoncé and Jay-Z to draw younger buyers – will it backfire?

The musician sports a 128.54-carat stone in a new ad campaign – the jewelry company’s latest attempt to rebrand itself

Beyoncé has become the first black woman to wear the famous yellow Tiffany diamond, in the jewelry company’s latest attempt to rebrand itself for a younger, more diverse audience.

The musician sports the “priceless” 128.54-carat stone alongside husband Jay-Z in a new ad campaign for Tiffany & Co. Beyoncé is the fourth woman, and first Black woman, to wear the diamond in more than a century.

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‘I opened it and I just started laughing’: the pitfalls of pandemic shopping

From accidentally over ordering, to products that bear no resemblance to their description or photographs, buying everything online has its downsides

When Sam Bowker and his partner moved into their new rental, they planned to buy a couch the same way they usually did – with a trip down to the local op-shop.

But Covid-19 scuppered this. The Salvation Army was no longer offering delivery services, so after a couple of drinks one evening, Bowker turned to eBay. There he found a “sleek looking black three seater lounge – it was a flatpack you build yourself, with free shipping”.

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How we met: ‘I think he’s the best-looking guy I’ve ever met’

Ashleigh, 33 and Matt, 32, met at a fancy dress party in Vancouver. They live in London with their son and three-legged cat

Matt had been living in Vancouver for a year when he was invited to a student fancy dress party in the spring of 2014. “I’d moved to study for a master’s degree in entomology,” he says. “Coming from Ohio, it was the biggest city I’d ever lived in. I’d never even ridden a city bus before.” The event had a lumberjack theme, popular at Canadian house parties at the time. “Everyone had to dress up in plaid and overalls, and there was a giant wooden Jenga game. You had to wear a hard hat to play,” he says. When he spotted Ashleigh across the room, he couldn’t resist going to say hello. “I thought she looked just like Kate Bush. I’d recently discovered her music, so I went to speak to her.”

Ashleigh had moved to Vancouver from Toronto to be with her boyfriend, but it wasn’t working out. “I had a job in a museum, but was living in a cockroach-filled apartment and had no friends. I wanted to meet new people,” she says, and an acquaintance invited her to the party. When Matt approached, she was busy trying to negotiate the party playlist with another guest. “I used to have a student radio show and was really into music,” she says. They talked for a while before Matt got the courage to tell her she looked like Kate Bush. “People have actually said that about me before,” she says.

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Hot summer nights: ‘On the phosphorescent sea, I realised I was just a tiny part of something bigger’

A sailing holiday with my dad and his mate didn’t sound too promising. But when I took the tiller in the middle of the night, I had a teenage epiphany

My dad had a pal called George who had a boat. It was a sailing boat but not a very big one – 25ft long. I don’t think you could call it a yacht; it didn’t seem very … yachty. I’m trying to downplay its yachtiness, and how privileged my childhood was, but it’s hopeless. I was on a bloody yachting holiday, OK?

Anyway, despite his boat’s modest size, George was quite adventurous once aboard. One summer, he invited my dad to help him sail it from the west coast of Scotland (I’m thinking maybe Oban) down to the south coast of England. I was 15 or 16 at the time and my dad took me – grumpily, adolescently – along for the ride.

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‘We love everybody’: the French drag couple making non-traditional wedding dresses

James and ViviAnn Du Fermoir-de-Monsac want to create an atmosphere where those who don’t fit the vision of an ideal bride feel comfortable

On the third floor of a typical Alsatian building in Strasbourg, a door opens on to a bright atelier, dotted with mannequins draped in bridal wear. This is where James and ViviAnn Du Fermoir-de-Monsac live and work, designing couture wedding gowns watched over by their cheerful mascot – a yellow parakeet named Adam. And they do it in drag.

The pair say seeing clients in their drag personas creates an atmosphere where people can be accepted for who they are. They know the traditional experience of buying a wedding dress is not always easy for everyone in a world where the vision of an ideal bride is often still someone thin, white and able-bodied.

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‘We lost everything’: Afghan wheelchair basketball team captain speaks out

Nilofar Bayat begins rebuilding her life in Spain after days of fear for her life under Taliban rule

When the Taliban entered Kabul, Nilofar Bayat, the captain of Afghanistan’s female national wheelchair basketball team, knew she had to get out.

“There were so many videos of me playing basketball. I had been active in calling for women’s rights and the rights of women with disabilities,” she said. “If the Taliban found out all of this about me, I knew they would kill me.”

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Zoom dilemmas solved! Expert advice on making video chats less awkward and more fun

Whether it’s chatting with small children, planning occasions or finding ways to socialise off-camera, after 18 months of lockdowns we’ve learned what works

With many parts of Australia still in lockdown, connecting with others can feel increasingly challenging.

Whether video calls are stifling your usual banter with friends, or the problem is actually hearing them at all over a patchy internet connection, Zoom fatigue is real.

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Hot summer nights: ‘My brother brought friends to marvel at the awful state of my body’

First I got sunburn, then one of the worst cases of chickenpox the doctor had ever seen. I was supposed to be on holiday, yet I was the tourist attraction

The hottest summer nights of my life were in Australia around the Christmas of 1988. My brother was on a gap year with a mate, working in a factory in Dandenong, a suburb of Melbourne. They were living in a tiny, scruffy caravan in an overgrown field when I went to visit. It had come with air-conditioning, they explained, but on their first night it shook violently for a few seconds upon being switched on, before dying.

The heat in this oven they called home was simply appalling. I slept not at all. But this was only the third-most terrible night of my life; the second-worst and the very worst were still a couple of weeks away.

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Dear Diary: how keeping a journal can bring you daily peace

Writing a diary is a great way to offload – and, if memory fails, it’s a wonderful window on the past

I still get funny looks from people when I mention that I keep a diary. Maybe the practice strikes them as shifty or weirdly old-fashioned. It’s true that I never feel more furtive than when my wife finds me writing it at our kitchen table – it’s like being spotted entering a confessional box in church. What exactly have I got to tell this black book about a life that we share all day, every day? What secrets can I possibly be keeping?

The answer: nothing of any great note, and yet so much of my life is in it. I started writing a journal (as I used to call it) when I went on holiday. Twenty years ago I decided to go full-time and since then I’ve kept it more or less every day. Why? I suppose it began as an experiment – and became an obligation. You can’t hold back time, but you can try to save the past from being completely erased. It often feels trivial to record things as they happen (a stray remark, hearing a song, fleeting moments of doom or delight), but later they may prove useful, or instructive, or amusing. It also maintains the illusion of diligence – that you’re not just pissing away the days. A diary is good exercise for the writing muscle, the way a pianist practises scales or a footballer does keepy-uppies. During lockdown, like everyone else, I got into routines that felt numbing in their repetition and diary-wise left me short of material. I took recourse to discussing the books and box sets I was involved with – not exactly Pepysian, but it got me through.

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Patsy Kensit: ‘You don’t have to marry all your boyfriends’

The actor, 53, talks about her charming dad, never reading her reviews in the papers, staying strong and eating nothing but shepherd’s pie

We grew up without money: two rooms and an outside loo. I remember shyly cowering behind the coal shed as Mum tried to photograph me, but by the age of four I was playing Mia Farrow’s daughter in The Great Gatsby. I loved the fantasy of acting, the contrast of the worlds in which I lived. It’s not that one was better, but going from life with not very much to this extravagant, surreal set opened my eyes to possibilities.

Dad was charming and a genius with numbers – he was also deep in the organised crime world. In the 60s, he worked with both the Kray twins (Reggie was my brother’s Godfather) and their arch enemies, the Richardsons. He went to prison quite a few times and Mum would never take us to visit him. Still, he was my dad who I loved deeply.

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