Great rivals: how a nemesis can make you more effective and successful

Many of us find someone who rubs us up the wrong way and the typical advice is to try to avoid those negative feelings. But what if we could harness them for our own good?

‘Do you have a nemesis?” I asked the two men, friends of my flatmate, to whom I had just been introduced. We were at a gig, waiting for the band to come on. My flatmate wordlessly assumed an apologetic air, but one of his friends seized on my question like he thought I would never ask.

“Yes,” he said, without any hesitation. I could almost see the face of his nemesis in his eyes, reflected in the stage lights. “He’s a social worker.”

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White supremacists ‘swatted’ my home to silence me. I will not be silent

Author Ijeoma Oluo’s son was endangered when someone called police, pretending to be him, and said he murdered two people – and the harassment didn’t stop there

A few weeks ago, in the culmination of weeks of escalating abuse from white supremacist trolls, our home was swatted, endangering my 17-year-old son, who was home alone at the time. Six rifle-carrying police officers pulled him out of bed at 6am because someone pretending to be him called and said that he had murdered two people in my home.

In the weeks since, the harassment of me and my family has continued fairly relentlessly, online and in person.

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‘I wish I’d told Dad how much I hated him’ – when children ditch their parents

What pushes someone to cut all ties with their mother or father?

As a child, Laura craved unconditional love. But instead of cuddles and family outings, her lasting memories are of bitter rows. “My mum never wanted children,” she says. “She told me that the only reason she didn’t get an abortion was she found out about the pregnancy too late.” Laura’s dad left when she was very young, which she thinks made her mother resentful. “She had to stay and be the responsible mum, which she hated. On one occasion my grandparents took me away and I remember thinking: this is what family should be like.”

The relationship dissolved completely when Laura was a teenager. “Mum’s first love was always men, and when I was 15 she moved to Africa for a boyfriend without telling me.” It’s something she found impossible to forgive, especially as there has never been an explanation or apology. “She has contacted me since but always asks for money. That’s why I made the decision to cut all ties with her.”

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Older adults can boost longevity ‘with just a little exercise’

Norwegian review of 36,000 cases links more activity overall, light or intensive, with lower risk of death

Even a small increase in light activity, such as washing dishes, a little gentle gardening, or shuffling around the house, might help stave off an early death among older adults, researchers say.

Being sedentary, for instance, by sitting for long periods of time, has been linked to an increased risk of developing many conditions, including heart disease, as well as an early death.

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Dutch take cycling to a new level, with world’s biggest multistorey bike park

In the Netherlands, where there are more bikes than people, serious money is being spent encouraging even more people to get on their bikes

In a nation with more bikes than people, finding a space to park can be a problem. The Dutch city of Utrecht is unveiling an answer at its railway station on Monday morning: the world’s largest multistorey parking area for bicycles.

The concrete-and-glass structure holds three floors of gleaming double-decker racks with space for 12,500 bikes, from cargo bikes that hold a family to public transport bikes for rent.

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‘Plastic recycling is a myth’: what really happens to your rubbish?

You sort your recycling, leave it to be collected – and then what? From councils burning the lot to foreign landfill sites overflowing with British rubbish, Oliver Franklin-Wallis reports on a global waste crisis

An alarm sounds, the blockage is cleared, and the line at Green Recycling in Maldon, Essex, rumbles back into life. A momentous river of garbage rolls down the conveyor: cardboard boxes, splintered skirting board, plastic bottles, crisp packets, DVD cases, printer cartridges, countless newspapers, including this one. Odd bits of junk catch the eye, conjuring little vignettes: a single discarded glove. A crushed Tupperware container, the meal inside uneaten. A photograph of a smiling child on an adult’s shoulders. But they are gone in a moment. The line at Green Recycling handles up to 12 tonnes of waste an hour.

“We produce 200 to 300 tonnes a day,” says Jamie Smith, Green Recycling’s general manager, above the din. We are standing three storeys up on the green health-and-safety gangway, looking down the line. On the tipping floor, an excavator is grabbing clawfuls of trash from heaps and piling it into a spinning drum, which spreads it evenly across the conveyor. Along the belt, human workers pick and channel what is valuable (bottles, cardboard, aluminium cans) into sorting chutes.

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Bosses force female workers making jeans for Levis and Wrangler into sex

Women at factories in Lesotho owned by Taiwanese firm say jobs and promotions in jeopardy if they refuse advances, claims report

Women producing jeans for American brands including Levi Strauss, Wrangler and Lee have been forced to sleep with their managers to keep their jobs or gain promotion, an investigation into sexual harassment and coercion at garment factories in Lesotho has found.

Brands have responded to the “extensive” allegations by the the US-based Worker Rights Consortium by signing enforceable agreements with labour and women’s rights groups to eliminate gender-based violence for more than 10,000 workers at five factories owned by the Taiwanese company Nien Hsing, one of the southern African country’s largest employers.

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‘Men said we were immoral’: the aphrodisiacs challenging taboos | Wana Udobang

Nigeria’s traditional ‘Kayan Mata’ recipes have grown into a booming industry that’s empowering women to be more open about sex

When Amra Mansur was working as a makeup artist in Abuja, while she studied law, she would overhear conversations between would-be brides and older relatives about how to please their men in the bedroom.

The older, mostly female relatives would recite aphrodisiac recipes that involved ingredients like fenugreek, dates, honey, watermelon and the fruit silky kola.

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Kylie Jenner celebrates birthday on £1m-a-week superyacht

Cosmetics billionaire and reality TV star boarded vessel in Italy for 22nd birthday

Kylie Jenner, the Keeping up with the Kardashians reality TV star whose eponymous cosmetics empire has turned her into the world’s youngest billionaire, will this weekend spend more than £1m on a party to celebrate her 22nd birthday onboard a $126m (£104m) superyacht.

Jenner has chartered the 91.5m (300ft) yacht Tranquility, which features a swimming pool, jacuzzi, sauna, Turkish bath, an “experiential shower”, a cinema and helicopter landing pad, to party in the Mediterranean this weekend.

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Ramble on: the fight to save forgotten footpaths

After the Guardian article about lost rights of way, readers got in touch in their droves regarding routes they have been trying to rescue

Sam Thompson is standing at the end of the footpath that he is helping to save. There is no sign, just a gate and a post adorned with a few strands of barbed wire. “I started walking this route a few months ago. It connects to woods that otherwise I’d have to walk through a housing estate to reach.”

We are in the York suburb of Acomb, a former village now swamped by sprawling post-second-world-war housing developments. To outsiders, it can seem like an endless, stupefying maze of long bends and cul-de-sacs where car drivers are kept awake only by extraordinary numbers of crumbling speed bumps. “We’re in our 20s,” says Thompson. “It was what we could afford.” We climb the gate and start down a narrow path lined by tall grasses, soon dodging through a hedge to emerge in a wild meadow, beyond which lies a line of trees. The change from brick and asphalt to rural beauty is dramatic and totally unexpected.

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It’s oppressive not strict in Saudi Arabia | Letter

The controls against women in the kingdom are not ‘strict’, as they were described in a Guardian article. Much more accurate to describe them as ‘oppressive’, writes Emma Laughton

Your article “Saudi women ‘no longer need male approval to go abroad’” (2 August) struck the wrong note for me. It referred to the “strictest controls” over women, which seems to rather understate the nature of the situation and existential impact on the suffering of women there. Could I suggest that it would be more appropriate to describe the controls as “oppressive”? Perhaps this is a silly quibble, but the words do give a different flavour. For example, a “strict” diet might even be a good thing in certain circumstances. Using a word like oppressive makes the point that the situation has no redeeming features and can’t be justified in any circumstances. Of course, I’m glad if the article is correct in suggesting that some of the worst features of the system there are being changed.
Emma Laughton
Colyton, Devon

• Join the debate – email guardian.letters@theguardian.com

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Suburb in the sky: how Jakartans built an entire village on top of a mall

Depending who you ask, Cosmo Park is an ingenious urban oasis or an ill-conceived dystopia

It’s Thursday and the residents of Jakarta’s Cosmo Park are out jogging, watering their plants or walking their dogs along neat asphalt roads.

Neighbourhood kids pedal their bikes under frangipani trees and peach-coloured bougainvillea to the pool and tennis court. Apartments, comfortable and modern, sit side by side, with barbecues and toys stacked outside.

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Turf it out: is it time to say goodbye to artificial grass?

It’s neat, easy – and a staggering £2bn global market. But as plastic grass takes over our cities, some say that it’s green only in colour

If your attention during the Women’s World Cup was on the pitch rather than the players, you might have noticed that the matches were all played on real grass. That was a hard-won change, made after the US team complained to Fifa that they sustained more injuries on artificial turf.

In private gardens, however, the opposite trend is happening: British gardens are being dug up and replaced with plastic grass. But this isn’t the flaky, fading stuff on which oranges were once displayed at the greengrocer. Today’s artificial grass is nearly identical to the real thing.

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Insomnia sufferers can benefit from therapy, new study shows

Authors call for cognitive behavioural therapy to be offered through GPs

Forget counting sheep and drinking warm milk, an effective way to tackle chronic insomnia is cognitive behavioural therapy, researchers have confirmed.

The authors of a new study say that although the therapy is effective, it is not being used widely enough, with doctors having limited knowledge about it and patients lacking access.

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They became millionaires and retired at 31. They think you can do the same

The authors Kristy Shen and Bryce Leung are part of a movement called Fire that encourages people to save intensively to retire early

Growing up in poverty in rural China, where her family collectively lived on as little as $0.44 a day, Kristy Shen learned to make decisions based on pragmatism rather than passion from a young age.

On her first ever trip to a toy shop aged eight, after her family moved to Canada, she declined the offer of a teddy bear in favour of a cheaper one and requested that her father send the remainder of the money to their family in China. As a teenager, she chose to be a computer engineer, ignoring her dream to be a writer, based on a formula she devised to rank the best value university courses based on tuition fees versus future pay. And as an adult, any domestic disagreements with her husband, Bryce Leung, are generally won or lost based on who makes the best mathematical case.

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Foreskin reclaimers: the ‘intactivists’ fighting infant male circumcision

Emboldened by the body-positive movement and a sense of rage, a growing chorus is pushing back against a common custom

The media officer of one of the UK’s top medical schools doesn’t realise she hasn’t muted herself as she puts me on hold.

She sniggers with her colleague as she passes on my request – to speak to an expert on male circumcision – before informing me they don’t have one.

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Listen, bend and stretch: how Japan fell in love with exercise on the radio

Millions join in a mass rajio taisō workout broadcast daily for nearly 70 years

“One, two, three, four … five, six, seven, eight …” That is the cue for half a dozen people braving a humid morning at Kamezuka park in Tokyo to bend, stretch, jump, and run on the spot. The group’s personal trainer is a portable radio perched on the top of a children’s slide. A male voice’s simple instructions, issued to a jaunty piano accompaniment, has become a staple of daily life in Japan since the broadcasts, known as rajio taisō (radio calisthenics), first hit the airwaves almost a century ago.

The three-minute routine is the perfect way to start the day, says Yukihide Maruyama, a 79-year-old retired businessman who has performed the routine nearly every day for a decade. “The exercises aren’t that difficult and afterwards you feel like your body has properly woken up.”

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