Brain fog: how trauma, uncertainty and isolation have affected our minds and memory

After a year of lockdown, many of us are finding it hard to think clearly, or remember what happened when. Neuroscientists and behavioural experts explain why

Before the pandemic, psychoanalyst Josh Cohen’s patients might come into his consulting room, lie down on the couch and talk about the traffic or the weather, or the rude person on the tube. Now they appear on his computer screen and tell him about brain fog. They talk with urgency of feeling unable to concentrate in meetings, to read, to follow intricately plotted television programmes. “There’s this sense of debilitation, of losing ordinary facility with everyday life; a forgetfulness and a kind of deskilling,” says Cohen, author of the self-help book How to Live. What to Do. Although restrictions are now easing across the UK, with greater freedom to circulate and socialise, he says lockdown for many of us has been “a contraction of life, and an almost parallel contraction of mental capacity”.

This dulled, useless state of mind – epitomised by the act of going into a room and then forgetting why we are there – is so boring, so lifeless. But researchers believe it is far more interesting than it feels: even that this common experience can be explained by cutting-edge neuroscience theories, and that studying it could further scientific understanding of the brain and how it changes. I ask Jon Simons, professor of cognitive neuroscience at the University of Cambridge, could it really be something “sciencey”? “Yes, it’s definitely something sciencey – and it’s helpful to understand that this feeling isn’t unusual or weird,” he says. “There isn’t something wrong with us. It’s a completely normal reaction to this quite traumatic experience we’ve collectively had over the last 12 months or so.”

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Beware sugar highs: seven healthy ways to get more energy – from stretching to sourdough

It’s tempting to use coffee and sweet treats as pick-me-ups, but they are only temporary solutions. Here’s how to keep yourself going for longer

The twin gods of conquering the post-lunch slump are caffeine and sugar. But such pick-me-ups are temporary: while a syrupy latte will help you power through until dinner time, you may well end up lying awake at 3am, staring at the ceiling. What if there were a way to have more energy that wasn’t unhealthy, addictive or expensive? (Those takeaway coffees add up.) Here, some experts weigh in.

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My rock’n’roll friendship with Lindy Morrison

She was in the Go-Betweens, Tracey Thorn was in the Marine Girls, their 30-year friendship enhanced both their lives

On 31 March 1983, she burst into my dressing room, asking at the top of her voice, “Has anyone here got a lipstick I can borrow?” I looked up to see a tall woman in a Lurex dress, with a mass of blonde hair. Our two bands, Marine Girls and the Go-Betweens, were on the same bill at the Lyceum in London. I was 20, and she was 31. I was a tentative singer, she was a loud, outspoken drummer. I was from suburbia, she was from Brisbane, Australia. And I was still a student, while she had already been a social worker, then joined a feminist punk band called Xero. She’d hitchhiked across Europe with a girlfriend, she’d seen every art film, read every avant-garde book. She’d slept at Shakespeare and Co in Paris, she’d swum with Roger Moore, she could recite Kate Millett’s Sexual Politics. But I didn’t know any of this. I just knew that she looked like self-belief in a minidress, and that she had arrived in my life. “Who was that?” I asked when she had gone. “That,” came the reply, “was Lindy Morrison.”

It took a couple of years for us to become friends. We were opposites in many ways, and at different stages of life, but there were similarities: we both lived with the boyfriend we were in a band with; we had strong opinions about everything – feminism, love and art; we liked Marilyn Monroe, Bette Davis, Patti Smith, Simone de Beauvoir, and we had no time for a lot of the men who surrounded us in the music business. I’d watch her on stage, fierce and sweating behind the drum kit, long hair flying in her face, all energy, all concentration, and I was proud to be her friend.

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Experience: I carried a twin in each of my wombs

The medical staff had never seen anything like it. They told us the chances were one in 50 million

The day I gave birth, there were 24 people in the room, most of them fascinated medical students. At 10.11am they watched as my daughter, Bonnie, came into the world, and five minutes later they saw Watson emerge, from my other womb.

The twins were not our first children. Our eldest daughter, Agyness, was born two months early, in 2015, but doctors said early labour was “one of those things”. When I became pregnant with Margot, born six weeks early, in 2017, scans revealed a bicornuate uterus, which means it’s heart-shaped. But no one spotted the second one.

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How lighthouse keepers show us the way in dark, isolated times

The importance of a beacon and having fortitude are key for lighthouse keepers – clues for us all when there’s little else around

Imagine being a lighthouse keeper. Before I dropped beneath the surface of this secluded, often secretive, occupation, the idea brought to mind wind-blown seagulls, or a bearded sea dog chewing his pipe. Such is the romantic notion many of us have about lighthouses. The reality is (or was, because the staffed lighthouse is now extinct) quite different.

Land lights – those charming beacons you’ll find on the coast, the distinctive red stripe of Portland Bill or the thimble-shaped watchpoint at Llanddwyn – are appealing, but for me the sea towers hold the greatest allure. I’m talking about those majestic, improbable stations rising audaciously up out of the ocean – the Bell Rock, the Bishop, the Longships. The famous Eddystone, south of Plymouth, is the fourth built on that reef, in an effort that spanned almost 200 years. Its neighbouring “Smeaton’s Stump”, the remains of a third manifestation, serves as a stark reminder that water is not meant to hold buildings.

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Return of the ‘dad-bod’: survey finds people prefer a softer male body type

75% of respondents to a survey conducted by Dating.com said that they preferred the body shape to a more toned one

The “dad-bod” is making a return, according to a new survey, signaling a forward step for body diversity.

Some 75% of respondents to a survey conducted by Dating.com said that they preferred the soft and round male body type to a more toned one.

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Forgotten how to socialise? Here’s your post-lockdown primer

Six ways to bring some pizzazz to those first socially distanced interactions as restrictions are lifted

From Monday in England, people will be able to meet outdoors either in a group of six (from any number of households), or in a group of any size from up to two households, including in private gardens.

While this is exciting, it may also be a little daunting – many of us will have forgotten how to socialise normally during the long months of lockdown. Here’s a quick refresher course on the art of making conversation under current guidelines:

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‘A letter tells someone they still matter’: the sudden, surprising return of the pen pal

In the pandemic, many have rediscovered the sheer pleasure of writing to strangers, with new schemes spreading hope and connection around the world

A few months ago, when the rules had been sufficiently relaxed to allow friends to sit together outside, Liz Maguire had coffee with a woman she had never met. The pair had already been communicating for months, and quickly fell into easy conversation. Later on, this woman tweeted about their meeting, to which another woman replied: “You met Liz Maguire? As in the Liz Maguire?”.

The Liz Maguire is a 27-year-old American expat living in Dublin. Though undoubtedly a celebrity in her chosen field, she is not a professional, but that is simply because she is not paid to do what she loves, which is to write letters to strangers.

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From keep fit to sex: how Guardian readers have boosted their mood during the pandemic

Everyone needs a release from the stresses of lockdown life. Readers share the ideas that work for them

We bought some solar-powered garden fairy lights and set them up on our garden shed. We can see them when we are having dinner or letting the dog into the garden. It means that, during the day, we have the fun of the flowers and, at night, twinkling lights. They remind me of the stars, another mood-lifter – stargazing puts everything in perspective. Nicholas Vince, actor and YouTuber, London

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How can I stop obsessing about my fiance’s ex-girlfriend?

You need to look at how you were made to feel as a child, says Annalisa Barbieri. Was the love conditional?

My fiance and I have been together for 18 months, but we haven’t seen each other for almost a year due to Covid restrictions. He had a four-year relationship before, with a girl he claimed he didn’t like that much, saying they always argued. At the beginning, I was totally fine with this, as everyone has a past. However, things started to change after I saw some pictures of them together and over the past few months I have started asking him all kinds of questions, such as, “Did you go to that place with her?” and, “Did you try this sex position with her?” If he says no, I’m OK, but if the answer is yes, I normally end up crying and blaming him. I know it’s not healthy, but I always bring it up in our daily call. It has become an obsession. No matter what we are discussing, I can always bring it back to his past. If he gets impatient, I get more angry.

I can feel this is affecting our relationship and I want it to stop, but I don’t know how. We can’t create new memories right now. Can this issue be solved only once we can meet up again, or is there a way to fix it before then?

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Experience: Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle erupted in my front room 

Flames roared half a metre out of the jar and bits of molten wax flew out as it fizzed and spat

It began as a joke with my friend Jane at our work Zoom Christmas party. We had a quiz and one question was: “What’s the name of Gwyneth Paltrow’s £68 scented candle, which she launched on her Goop website in 2020?” I knew the answer: This Smells Like My Vagina. Jane started laughing, explaining she had bought one to see what the fuss was about. I won the quiz, and the candle was my prize; Jane sent it to me the next day. The candle, made of soy wax and essential oils, is apparently so named because Paltrow was joking with Goop’s perfumer, Douglas Little. According to the marketing blurb: “The two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, ‘Uhhh… this smells like a vagina.’”

A few weeks later, I decided to light it. I live in a tiny one-bed flat in London with my partner, David, and our two cats. I love scented candles and throughout the latest lockdown, their warming flame and fragrance have given me a little joy in the evenings.

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Going through the motions: the rise and rise of stool-gazing

Locked down and worrying about our wellbeing, more and more of us have been looking for clues in what we leave in the toilet. Are we wasting our time?

I was minding my own business on a lockdown walk when I saw the advert on the side of a bus shelter. It featured seven shiny pink shapes. Were those sex toys, I wondered, interspersed with puddles of Angel Delight? Only when I read the captions (“The smooth criminal, the smashed avo, the poonami; London, how do you poo?”) did I realise what I was looking at.

These, it turned out, were visual metaphors for assorted types of stool. And of course, in the Instagram era, they were millennial pink. Literally polished turds, they were part of a campaign by The Gut Stuff, a startup that has the strapline: “Empowering gut health in everyone”.

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‘The ketamine blew my mind’: can psychedelics cure addiction and depression?

This week sees the opening of the first UK high-street clinic offering psychedelic-assisted therapy. Could popping psilocybin be the future of mental healthcare?

In the summer of 1981, when he was 13, Grant crashed a trail motorbike into a wall at his parents’ house in Cambridgeshire. He’d been hiding it in the shed, but “it was far too powerful for me, and on my very first time starting it in the garden, I smashed it into a wall”. His mother came outside to find the skinny teenager in a heap next to the crumpled motorbike. “I was in a lot of trouble.”

Grant hadn’t given this childhood memory much thought in the intervening years, but one hot August day in 2019, it came back to him with such clarity that, at 53, now a stocky father of two, he suddenly understood it as a clue to his dangerously unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

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Come True review – blow-out imagery in visionary sleep disorder thriller

An insomniac student is haunted by a demonic figure in this flamboyant and stylised waking dream of a film

There is something visionary about this near-nonsensical, kitsch but atmospheric techno-thriller from Canadian director Anthony Scott Burns. Drawn along on dark somnambulic rhythms, it incorporates elements of fantasy, horror and 80s synthwave aesthetics without giving itself over completely to any of them.

A wordless first 10 minutes introduces us to Sarah (Julia Sarah Stone), a runaway student apparently unwelcome or unwilling to return home, waking in spectrally lit parks and falling asleep in coffee shops. Dropping suddenly into surrealistic CGI dreams that track inexorably towards a demonic figure who, if approached too closely, wakes her with a start. Sarah decides to try and climb out of this insomniac bath by enrolling in a university sleep study. It is overseen by Dr Meyer, a Cronenbergian academic in big glasses, but run by a trio of researchers who, like the memory technicians in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, have a loose relationship with scientific protocol. Becoming close to Jeremy (Landon Liboiron), she learns that they are using pioneering technology to observe the subjects’ dreams – and that the same shadowy presence manifests in all of them.

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‘Hydration is a simple thing’: has the quest to improve water actually worked?

From alkaline waters to beauty elixirs, added oxygen and probiotics, many brands claim they have ‘enhanced’ water – but what do the experts think?

Today, when I woke up, I made myself a cup of warm lemon water. After lunch I dropped a Berocca into a glass to power me through the afternoon haze. Running errands I considered treating myself to a Coke but opted instead for an expensive, vegetable-tasting water.

H2O classic may be a prerequisite to all known forms of life, but countless brands insist they have found ways to “improve” water. From a business standpoint, it’s working. Industry researchers IbisWorld estimate Australia’s “functional beverage” industry is worth $445.6m; and as people become more health conscious, the growth of the sector is outpacing the economy overall.

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Think like a cat or pick up marbles with your toes: how to maximise your incidental exercise

Getting fit isn’t all about Lycra and sweat, our everyday activities can also work wonders, with a bit of effort

You don’t have to be grunting in a gym or grinding out the laps of the park to get a sweat on. Incidental exercise can be just as beneficial, and much easier to incorporate into daily routines. “It’s any activity that is part of daily living,” says Prof Emmanuel Stamatakis, an expert in physical activity at the University of Sydney, “rather than something that is done for the purpose of fitness, health or entertainment.”

Stamatakis tells me that incidental exercise, which is termed “intermittent lifestyle physical activity” by academics, is under-researched. But a paper he co-authored in 2018 found that sudden bursts of high-intensity incidental exercise – bounding up a flight of stairs, for example – could be highly beneficial from a health point of view, undermining the long-held belief that physical activity has to last at least 10 minutes to be worthwhile. “All physical activity counts and has a health benefit,” says Stamatakis. But how best to incorporate more incidental exercise to your life? The experts weigh in.

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The power of touch: what will it be like when we can all connect again?

Social distancing has reminded us what a crucial role touch plays in our wellbeing, says social and cultural historian Joe Moran

When was the last time you touched someone you don’t live with? One day last March, probably; you’re not sure of the date. Did you shake hands with a new colleague at work? Did your coat brush against another commuter’s on the train? Did someone bump your elbow and mutter an apology when rushing past you on an escalator? If you’d known that was the last time you’d make contact with the body of a stranger, you’d have paid more attention.

And what about the 8.2 million British adults who live on their own? Many will have gone nearly a year now without so much as a pat on the arm from another person. Touch is the sense we take most for granted, but we miss it when it’s gone. Psychologists have a term for the feelings of deprivation and abandonment we experience: “skin hunger”.

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Three families, one sperm donor: the day we met our daughter’s sisters

Every year, thousands of British children are conceived with the help of donor sperm. But few ever meet their siblings...

Caroline Pearson, a podcast producer from London, was a few days into her maternity leave when she discovered that her unborn daughter had two sisters. She had visited a website a friend had told her about, which allows recipients of donated sperm (such as her) to search for families who have used the same donor. If they’ve registered with this website, they could be anywhere in the world, since the US sperm bank chosen by Pearson and her husband, Francis, ships internationally, and the website, Donor Sibling Registry (DSR), is also US-based with an international reach. Pearson couldn’t resist, and typed in the donor’s reference number.

“Suddenly, I was overwhelmingly curious,” Pearson says. She didn’t expect to find anything – let alone two families living within a half-hour radius. The first profile was a single mother to a two-year-old girl, living nearby in London. It seemed an extraordinary coincidence. Caroline was “totally giddy”; her partner Francis, a photographer, was cautious. “I tried to rein things in,” he says. “Caroline was pregnant and we were already dealing with becoming parents, and the donor process. But all this other stuff, it was so unknown. I’m practical and you think: yes, that could be amazing – but what if they’re awful people?”

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Not a sprint: endurance experts on how to make it through lockdown

Marathon runner Eddie Izzard, solo sailor Pip Hare and explorer Levison Wood explain what they have learned about enduring the seemingly unendurable

It just goes on and on, doesn’t it? Despite the millions of vaccinations, and Boris Johnson’s “roadmap” for easing the lockdown, this pandemic is feeling increasingly like an endurance test – a marathon, followed by another marathon, followed by another. Or trudging for miles and miles across the desert for day after day. Or sailing alone around the world, battling storms and loneliness. How do you keep going? There are people who know a thing or two about that – keeping going, endurance, deserts and storms. Perhaps they might even have some advice.

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