Category Archives: Life and style

Don’t be lonely: how to make friends if you’re moving house

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Yes, the pandemic has made it harder to connect with strangers. But, from fitness classes to social media, there are plenty of ways to meet people in a new area – especially if you assume you’re naturally likable

Freed from the shackles of the office and the misery of the commute, and with a newfound appreciation for space and air, it may suddenly have seemed as if a new kind of life was possible. Last summer, a few months after the first lockdown, data from Rightmove found searches by city residents looking for village properties had risen by 126%. But for those who took the plunge, leaving behind everything and everyone they know in return for a garden and a spare room, the pandemic has not made it easy to meet people in a new area. With this in mind, here’s some expert advice on how to build a new community.

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Maki Kaji, ‘godfather of sudoku’, dies aged 69 in Japan

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Puzzle enthusiast and publisher credited with turning grid-based numbers problem into global phenomenon

Maki Kaji, a Japanese publisher who popularised the numbers puzzle sudoku played daily by millions around the world, has died from cancer aged 69.

A university dropout who worked in a printing company before founding Japan’s first puzzle magazine, Kaji took hints from an existing number puzzle to create what he later named “sudoku” – a contraction of the Japanese for “every number must be single” – sometime in the mid-80s.

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‘Let them be kids!’ Is ‘free-range’ parenting the key to healthier, happier children?

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Now more than ever, children are cooped up indoors and monitored 24/7. But how can they build confidence and social skills if adults never let them out of their sight?

She describes herself as having been a “fairly cautious” parent before the pandemic, but Shannon now worries about her children’s safety more than ever. “The pandemic has made me more paranoid and fearful of other people,” she says. She has two sons, aged seven and four, and she’s anxious about them falling ill “because they are too young to get vaccinated”. When her elder son’s school reopened last year, she kept him at home. “We don’t go inside other people’s houses, and, if we have play dates, we do them outside,” she says. As a hospital chaplain in Indiana, Shannon has seen people dying of Covid, so her fear is understandable.

There have been benefits – her sons are closer than ever – but she acknowledges the downsides. “That social aspect of their development is something I’m definitely worried about. There’s a part of me that’s like: ‘Let them be kids,’ and there’s a part of me that’s like: ‘I need to keep them safe.’”

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Rhik Samadder tries … silent disco meditation: ‘A man in socks and a bandana is romancing a tree’

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A dance-based ‘soul journey’ – in the middle of Clapham Common? While I stream with sweat and onlookers laugh, I can’t stop worrying about what I’m having for dinner

I’m shaking my pelvis with brio, when a goldendoodle ambles up. Don’t you poo, I think. Then again, doing what comes naturally is the point of today. My friend Beth has invited me to try 5Rhythms: a silent disco movement meditation class on Clapham Common. I didn’t understand any of those words, but said yes­, because this column has turned my life into a second-tier Jim Carrey film­. Now I’m in deep with the hippies. To my left, a man in socks and a bandana is romancing a tree. A nearby game of touch rugby has paused so its players can laugh at us. This is my nightmare.

5Rhythms was developed in the 1970s by Gabrielle Roth, a New York theatre artist, but moved mainstream in the last 15 years, adopted by the wellness crowd. The practice involves dancing to five distinct moods of music, in a specific sequence known as the wave, which corresponds to different aspects of the self. The resulting “soul journey” is designed to unlock unlimited creativity and wholeness in the psyche of the dancer. Assuming they buy into the new-age framework, that is. My own personal five rhythms are lazy, dissatisfied, hungry, laughing and a freeform malaise I refer to as Kenneth.

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The last nomad hippies – a photo essay

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The hippy movement may have been in decline since its 1960s heyday, but there are still Europeans who choose an alternative lifestyle. During the pandemic, when many people are considering whether there might be a different way to live rather than returning to old ways, journalist Roberto Palomo journeys through Portugal with some of those who are living outside established society

The pandemic disrupted so many people’s plans, including mine. As a freelance reporter, my scheduled trip through South America in search of stories disappeared and I had to look for alternatives. In spite of everything, I got a job during lockdown in a logistics warehouse and was able to save some money. Once the restrictions began to relax, I bought an old van and, with the help of some friends, adapted it to make it my new home for the next months.

I am from Badajoz, a small city in the south-west of Spain a few kilometres from the Portuguese border. I have been visiting Portugal since I was a child but I never had the opportunity to explore the neighbouring country in more depth. With the world paralysed, this was my chance.

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‘Hidden pandemic’: Peruvian children in crisis as carers die

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With 93,000 children in Peru losing a parent to Covid, many face depression, anxiety and poverty

When Covid-19 began shutting down Nilda López’s vital organs, doctors decided that the best chance of saving her and her unborn baby was to put her into a coma.

Six months pregnant, López feared she would not wake up, or that if she did, her baby would not be there.

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‘I’m not a news robot reading an Autocue’: Clive Myrie on politics, personality and Mastermind

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The BBC newsreader takes over the venerable quiz show next week. He discusses fighting for viewers, dealing with online abuse – and making his parents proud

There is one correct way to start an interview with the new host of Mastermind: turn the tables on him – put him in the chair, under the spotlight. He hasn’t prepared a specialist subject, though, so I pick one for him, an easy one: the life and work of Clive Myrie, gleaned from previous interviews and the internet. There may be errors, but I can accept only the answer on the card. It will lead to topics for discussion. He is up for it, he says, although his face says: “WTF?”

The setting – a meeting room at the BBC’s New Broadcasting House – isn’t perfect. The lighting is all wrong. There are chairs, but not the chair. At least I can play the theme on my phone. Bam baba bam, bam baba bam, da da …

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Life after terror: the children of 9/11

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Twenty years after the World Trade Center attacks, four young people, then unborn, who lost their fathers, reveal how the events shaped their lives

Like for most young Americans growing up, 9/11 was a fairly constant presence, with online videos and TV documentaries, memorials and references to it on the news. I never wanted to ask Mum too much, instead putting the pieces together as I got older. I think I always knew my dad had died that day, but I’ve never felt a hugely emotional reaction. I know the basics of what happened, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.

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Summer in the city: Lauren Oyler on a bike accident in Berlin

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The US author and critic recalls a summer of cycling in the German capital in 2018

• Read other authors on their memorable urban summers

Every summer when I come to Berlin, someone says, “Wouldn’t you rather be at the beach?” No. I want to drink beer from the Späti (corner shop) and marvel at the sudden appearance of disparate architectures. But increasingly, there are heatwaves.

If pressed, even these I can romanticise: everyone is carefree and dirty (even more so than usual) and doesn’t work (even more so than usual). I always end up crossing Alexanderplatz on a bike thinking, this is like a desert, but more than once I’ve run into someone I know in the bike lane, which renders the scene even more hallucinogenic. Still, I dread the heatwaves as if they are worse than they are. “They’re going to have to get air-conditioning,” I mutter with the rest of the Americans. The only real respite is, unfortunately, to go to the beach.

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Modesty pouches and masturbation montages: the making of Sex Education

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The rude, raucous and revolutionary comedy is back for another term. The stars and creators reveal how it became one of Netflix’s biggest British hits

Sex Education is back with a bang. Several, in fact. The Netflix hit’s third series starts with an epic sex montage. There’s sex in a car; in a living room; in a variety of teenage bedrooms. There are casual encounters, committed relationships, sex together, alone, virtually, playing the drums and with a sci-fi theme. It is a symphony of shags, an opera of orgasms, all set to the thumping beat of the Rubinoos’ I Think We’re Alone Now. As the old saying goes, there’s nowt so queer as folk, and Sex Education is determined to prove it.

The Netflix comedy-drama only began in 2019, but thanks to its cross-generational, multinational appeal, it already seems like part of the cultural landscape. The funny, frank, flamboyant show about teenage life, sex and identity is an awards magnet and has made stars of its young cast, who now front fashion campaigns and appear regularly on stage and cinema screens. Gillian Anderson and Asa Butterfield star as mother and son Jean and Otis Milburn, who live in an enviable, chalet-style house overlooking the gorgeous Wye valley.

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UK dog owners warned about thieves staking out parks and luring puppies

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Blue Cross cautions about black market for popular breeds as government reportedly considers new offence of pet abduction

Stalking parks in affluent areas and luring puppies out of gardens with treats are among the methods dog thieves are using, campaigners have said, amid suggestions the government is preparing to clamp down on pet abductions.

Criminals mug dog-walkers for their pets and raid boarding kennels in an effort to steal in-demand breeds, whose price tags have soared during the pandemic. They are also on the look out for pets that have not been neutered or spayed and are capable of breeding.

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‘Everyone else knew weeks before we did’: readers who fell in love with their best friend

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Two-thirds of couples start out as friends first. These readers were looking for love in all the wrong places – before they realised it was staring them right in the face

He was the first person I met at university, the day we moved into halls, and he tried to kiss me that night but I turned him down. I knew we’d be really good friends though, and I even joked that he would be godfather to my children one day. We stayed friends for a number of years as I careered from boyfriend to boyfriend, none of them suitable. Dave remained eternally single, focused on an army career. We stayed in touch and, not long after he returned from Afghanistan, we met up. He was different: he had grown up and looked hot! I saw him in a different light and realised I really fancied him. I was newly single and determined to remain so, but we went on a night out, snogged lots, and the rest is history. I’m so glad we had seven years of friendship – he’s still my best friend, we always make each other laugh and he’s such a wonderful husband and amazing father to our two children. Laura, insurance underwriter, Yorkshire

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Pores for thought: how sweat reveals our every secret, from what we’ve eaten to whether we’re on drugs

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Just one drop of perspiration might soon be enough to identify a criminal or diagnose a cancer. But this fast-moving science could also pose a serious threat to civil liberties


When I deposited my index fingerprint on a laboratory slide so that Simona Francese could analyse it, I felt as if I was giving her the password to my body’s secrets. Most forensic scientists examine a fingerprint’s pattern but Francese, a forensic scientist from Sheffield Hallam University, analyses the chemicals left behind in those whirls and swirls. Her aim is to develop techniques that will allow her to extract identifying information about people at a crime scene from the sweaty residues they leave behind.

Fingerprints are inked with sweat, a body fluid that holds revealing information about our health and our vices. Our sweat glands source perspiration from the watery parts of blood, and any chemicals flowing around your circulatory system can, in principle, leak out of your sweat pores.

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CDC urges pregnant women to get Covid vaccine, finding no increased risk of miscarriage

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Updated guidance comes after a CDC analysis of new safety data, as vaccination rates remain low among pregnant women in the US

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention urged all pregnant women Wednesday to get the Covid-19 vaccine as hospitals in hot spots around the US see disturbing numbers of unvaccinated mothers-to-be seriously ill with the virus.

Expectant women run a higher higher risk of severe illness and pregnancy complications from the coronavirus, including perhaps miscarriages and stillbirths. But their vaccination rates are low, with only about 23% having received at least one dose, according to CDC data.

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‘Sometimes I have to pick up a gun’: the female Afghan governor resisting the Taliban

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Salima Mazari, one of only three female district governors in Afghanistan, tells of her motivation to fight the militants

It is early morning in Charkint, in the northern Balkh province of Afghanistan, but a meeting with the governor is already well under way to urgently assess the safety of the 30,000 people she represents. Salima Mazari has been in the job for just over three years, and for her, fighting the Taliban is nothing new, but since July she has been meeting with the commanders of her security forces every day as the Islamist militants’ attacks across the country increase.

As one of only three female district governors in Afghanistan, Mazari has attracted attention simply by being a woman in charge. What sets the 40-year-old apart, particularly amid the recent wave of Taliban violence, is her hands-on military leadership. “Sometimes I’m in the office in Charkint, and other times I have to pick up a gun and join the battle,” she says.

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And relax! From gong baths to mindful drinking: how to really unwind on a holiday at home

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With the pandemic scrambling travel plans, many of us are staying put this summer. But can your own house ever be as restful a vacation setting as flopping on a sunlounger? One writer spends a week finding out

My family and I are deep into our second summer of staycations, and, given that a weekend in a static caravan in Filey now costs more than a month on Mustique, we’re having the proper, stay-at-home kind. But how can you relax when assailed by tedious life admin, dirty laundry and the ominous damp patch on the wall, without a hint of away-from-it-all exoticism to get you in the mood? I have no idea. My usual at-home “downtime” consists of scrolling through Twitter to top up my cortisol levels or staring guiltily at the garden I’m too lazy and clueless to tend. Even my chickens, usually excellent stress-busters, are embroiled in some sort of intractable avian psychodrama. I obviously need help, so I asked some experts, then tested their home relaxation tips, to find out if it really is possible to have a relaxing holiday at home.

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Shayne Oliver: ‘Being a Black weirdo is harder than being any other kind’

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He’s DJ’d naked, put a great dane on the catwalk – and now with an album, Shayne Oliver is on a mission to bring New York’s queer underground to the world. Is the former Hood by Air designer the 21st century Andy Warhol?

Interviewing Shayne Oliver is a conversational rollercoaster. We hurtle from cult 90s guitar bands to Arthur Jafa, from the problem with political correctness to the pressure on creatives, from Kanye West to Vin Diesel, with little warning of which thrill or spill is next. “I’m such a scatterbrain,” he says at the end of our call. “I’m sorry.”

But Oliver is far from a scatterbrain. He is best known as a fashion designer, the former vogue-dancer who founded the critically adored label Hood By Air, or HBA, in 2006. However, he is no longer limiting himself to clothes. Oliver is moving into music, having formed Anonymous Club – a “creative studio” focused on young talent that began as a series of parties. The studio’s debut release is Screensavers Vol 1, a compilation album based on Oliver’s demos, executive produced by Yves Tumor.

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I almost gave up searching for my first best friend: 25 years on, we found each other

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When Gabriella met Natsumi they had no shared language – but that did not stop them from becoming fast friends

When my family first landed in Perth at the start of January, it was 40C. The stifling heat was such a contrast to the European winter we had left behind.

It’s one of the things I remember about migrating to Australia with my mum and step-dad when I was six; that and the extremely long flight leaving Budapest – with stopovers in Helsinki, Karachi and Singapore.

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How we met: ‘As soon as I saw him, I knew he was going to be the guy for me’

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Elke, 55, and Mike, 54, met at a dinner party in Switzerland in the 90s. They moved to England following a family tragedy in 2010 and have supported each other ever since

When Elke moved to Switzerland from Brazil in 1994, romance had not crossed her mind. “My brother had been diagnosed with Aids,” she says. “He was living there and I went to care for him.” Sadly, he died in December that year, but Elke decided to stay and explore the country. “My brother loved Switzerland because it was more liberal than Brazil. He encouraged me to live there for a while.” She started an admin job with the European Tennis Association (now Tennis Europe) in the new year. “I think my boss felt sorry for me because I was feeling so sad all the time,” she says. “She wanted to set me up with one of her friends, but I wasn’t interested in dating.”

One night, she agreed to attend a small dinner party that her boss was hosting. When she arrived, Mike was already sitting on the sofa. He was originally from the UK, but had been living in Switzerland for several years, working in IT. “My friend had told me about this incredibly interesting Brazilian woman,” he says. “I brushed it off because I’d come out of a long relationship and wasn’t looking for anything.”

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