Nest of Vampires review – a bloodless bid for the title of worst film ever

This horror story about an MI5 agent and a gang supplying girls for ritual sacrifice is on a par with the monumentally terrible Plan 9 from Outer Space

There are bad movies, the kind of third-rate film-making we see all the time, and then there are transcendentally bad movies that can only result from deep, fanatical attachment to the material. Director, writer and producer Chris Sanders here achieves something on a par with Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. His Nest of Vampires is a little-England horror-thriller with a plot as over-larded as an Elvis sandwich, uniformly appalling acting, and the same almost beatific earnestness as those two legendary films.

MI5 agent Kit Valentine (Tom Fairfoot) leaves his London stamping ground to shake down some unnamed English town for a human trafficking ring that – after his wife is murdered – has abducted his daughter. He needs to get a move on, because the network sells off the girls to moneyed clients to butcher in satanic rituals. Not racy enough? Some of the criminals are also vampires who like a “nibble” on the customers. And Valentine is further up against it when his bosses reveal they are in cahoots. Tied to a chair, though, he has news for them: “You’re not the only secret society that operates within MI5.” Then his own canines turn extra-pointy.

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Allen v Farrow review – a one-note pick over the bones of old investigations

The HBO series arrives on Sky in the UK, but fails to dig deep and do more than regurgitate Mia and Dylan Farrow’s allegations against Woody Allen

Eight months after his relationship with not-quite-stepdaughter Soon-Yi was revealed in 1992, Woody Allen was accused of sexually abusing Dylan Farrow, his younger daughter with his partner Mia Farrow, when she was seven. Allen strongly denied all the allegations, as he has continued to do over the nearly 30 years since. But they fell on fertile soil. How could a man who could start an affair with his partner’s daughter not be capable of just about anything else, the argument went? A welter of publicity followed, claims (that no mother, especially one as devoted as Farrow, could possibly make such a thing up), counterclaims (that in fact she had done so, that Dylan was coached – which she denies, and that it was all an act of vengeance for the Soon-Yi affair), along with gossip and hearsay proliferated.

Dylan and her brother Ronan Farrow began speaking about the matter publicly themselves in 2014. This has disinterred old battle lines and occasioned new accounts from people who were close to the family at the time and from Moses, another of the Farrow children, which contradict either things they said at the time or the saintly mother narrative that seemed the most natural one. Meanwhile, doctors examined Dylan at the time and found no evidence to support Farrow’s contention, and Allen was investigated by the Yale New Haven hospital’s child sexual abuse clinic and the New York State’s social services department, who reached similar conclusions.

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Canadian lobbyists attack Netflix children’s film for ‘anti-oil propaganda’

Canadian Energy Centre, funded by Alberta government, says Bigfoot Family ‘brainwashes’ youngsters and ‘peddles lies’

The animated film Bigfoot Family has come under fire in Canada – but not because of its stilted dialogue or confusing plot.

Instead, a government-funded lobbying group has targeted the movie – a fantasy epic featuring a human family whose father is Bigfoot – on the grounds that it “peddles lies” about the oil and gas industry.

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While We Are Here review – enigmatic study of romance is hard to love

There is an avant-garde bravery to this international love story – but how can we invest in protagonists we never see?

Here is a thought-experiment of a movie from Brazilian film-makers Clarissa Campolina and Luiz Pretti: it’s a dramatic essay, or docu-fictional romance, or perhaps the cinematic equivalent of an epistolary novel, and it has been much admired on the festival circuit.

Related: Streaming: indie films from Latin America

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Lady Gucci is just the latest guise of the ever transmutable Lady Gaga

Pop singer, activist, art installation, actor, Stefani Germanotta has taken on many faces

Like Lon Chaney, the great silent actor known as “The Man of a Thousand Faces”, Lady Gaga has traversed roles, from music to fashion to film to politics, transmuting with creative fluidity but remaining – sometimes with defiance – the girl next door.

Last week, the 34-year-old star – days after retrieving her two French bulldogs from a dognapping in which her walker was shot and injured – posted a photo of herself beside actor Adam Driver in which she was wearing a white fur hat and was draped in gold jewellery. It was a publicity shot from Ridley Scott’s House of Gucci, a forthcoming film based on the story of Patrizia Reggiani, aka the Black Widow (played by Gaga), who married – and later had killed – Maurizio Gucci, head of the luxury fashion house.

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On my radar: Aidan Moffat’s cultural highlights

The Arab Strap vocalist on late-night horror chats with his mum, spending time with Alan Partridge, and bingeing on Succession

Born in Falkirk, Scotland, in 1973, Aidan Moffat is the vocalist of indie rock band Arab Strap, which he founded in 1995 with Malcolm Middleton. Characterised by Moffat’s half-spoken vocals over lo-fi instrumentation, the band gained international acclaim with 1996 single The First Big Weekend; they went on to release six studio albums before splitting in 2006 and reforming in 2016. Since 2002, Moffat has released music under the name L Pierre, and collaborated with artists including Mogwai and Bill Wells. Arab Strap’s first album in 16 years, As Days Get Dark, is was released this month on Rock Action.

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Actor strips at ‘French Oscars’ in protest at closure of theatres and cinemas

Corinne Masiero criticises coronavirus strategy with words ‘no culture no future’ on her chest

A French actor stripped naked on stage during a scaled-back César Awards ceremony in Paris to protest against the government’s closure of theatres and cinemas during the coronavirus pandemic.

Corinne Masiero had “no culture no future” written on her chest and “give us art back Jean” on her back, in a message to the prime minister, Jean Castex.

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Hollywood Down Under: stars flock from US to film in Covid-free Australia

Blessed with sunny weather, diverse locations and a ready-made film industry, Sydney and the Gold Coast have become movie powerhouses

On a warmish Wednesday evening early in the year, Paul Mescal was celebrating his birthday and everybody seemed to know. The Irish actor, famous for his neckchain and his leading role in Normal People, was in Sydney, Australia, for a new film, and the word was spreading. He was photographed running in Centennial Park. He was sighted at Tamarama Beach. He popped into an inner-city pub.

But on the list of stars now working in Australia, Mescal – in Sydney for a musical film adaptation of Carmen – is comfortably mid-level. Thanks to its relative freedom from Covid-19 and associated restrictions, Australia – blessed with diverse locations, sunny weather and a ready-made film infrastructure – has become Hollywood Down Under.

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Out of Africa: how Netflix’s ambitions could change the continent’s cinema

The streaming giant has come knocking, but a lack of infrastructure and government support continues to hinder the continent telling its own stories

It was the sight of donkeys carrying camera equipment that reminded Lemohang Jeremiah Mosese he was shooting in Lesotho. The director was filming This Is Not a Burial, It Is a Resurrection in a remote part of his tiny home nation, which has no cinemas and – unsurprisingly – zero film infrastructure. “It’s a bit daring to take a crew there and shoot because there’s no electricity,” Mosese says from his home in Berlin. “Especially when we go to the mountains – we had to rely on the donkeys because at some point we just couldn’t carry the equipment.”

The shoot ran on petrol-powered generators. Villagers pitched in as ad-hoc crew members. Many fingers were crossed. “We had to build everything from scratch,” he says. That approach didn’t harm the film. Critically lauded, the stylish mood piece about grief, community and egregious land development has been entered in the Oscars as the country’s 2021 candidate.

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Eddie Izzard: ‘I’m just trying to create a space for myself’

The actor and comic on making her female pronouns permanent, shouting down abuse, enduring a marathon a day – and running for Labour

Eddie Izzard doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. In December, it was reported that the standup comic/actor/campaigner/endurance runner had adopted the pronouns “she” and “her” and wanted to be “based in girl mode” from now on. Well, it hardly came out of the blue, she says today. Izzard had spent the past 35 years building up to it, and when she did finally make the announcement it happened by chance.

A few months earlier, Izzard had been a guest on the Sky Arts series Portrait Artist Of the Year, and was asked, for the first time, which pronouns she preferred. She replied “she and her” and never gave it another thought. By the time the programme was broadcast, Izzard had forgotten about the conversation. And suddenly she was headline news.

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The making of a heavyweight: Scorsese and De Niro behind the scenes of Raging Bull – in pictures

The award-winning biopic of Jake LaMotta was released 40 years ago. With these exclusive images, Jay Glennie, who interviewed the cast and crew for a new book, reveals secrets of the film’s shoot

  • Raging Bull: The Making Of, by Jay Glennie is published on 5 April by Coattail. Use code RBP10 to receive a discount
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Diane Keaton’s 10 best performances – ranked!

With the Oscar winner’s romcom Love, Weddings & Other Disasters out next month in the UK, we run through her greatest roles

Some of the jokes in Sleeper are as dated as the special effects (and they looked creaky enough nearly 50 years ago). But Keaton is ethereally lovely as Luna, a socialite from the future. As always, there is an intelligence to her performance that lifts her above the weaker material, such as Woody Allen’s character floating around a field in a hydrovac suit.

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Come True review – blow-out imagery in visionary sleep disorder thriller

An insomniac student is haunted by a demonic figure in this flamboyant and stylised waking dream of a film

There is something visionary about this near-nonsensical, kitsch but atmospheric techno-thriller from Canadian director Anthony Scott Burns. Drawn along on dark somnambulic rhythms, it incorporates elements of fantasy, horror and 80s synthwave aesthetics without giving itself over completely to any of them.

A wordless first 10 minutes introduces us to Sarah (Julia Sarah Stone), a runaway student apparently unwelcome or unwilling to return home, waking in spectrally lit parks and falling asleep in coffee shops. Dropping suddenly into surrealistic CGI dreams that track inexorably towards a demonic figure who, if approached too closely, wakes her with a start. Sarah decides to try and climb out of this insomniac bath by enrolling in a university sleep study. It is overseen by Dr Meyer, a Cronenbergian academic in big glasses, but run by a trio of researchers who, like the memory technicians in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, have a loose relationship with scientific protocol. Becoming close to Jeremy (Landon Liboiron), she learns that they are using pioneering technology to observe the subjects’ dreams – and that the same shadowy presence manifests in all of them.

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Cocaine Bear: the must-see and must-avoid movie of 2022

Elizabeth Banks’s new film, about the aftermath of a narcotics drop in a Georgia national park, may be less hilarious than it first sounds

There is a school of thought that Elizabeth Banks’s version of Charlie’s Angels flopped because it was too familiar; it was in effect a reboot of a reboot of an iconic television series that had long wrung itself dry. People knew exactly what to expect from it, so they stayed away. That’s unlikely to happen with her next film, though, because her next film is going to be called Cocaine Bear.

And, I mean, you’re in, right? You’d watch a film called Cocaine Bear. Regardless of quality or budget or genre, you’d watch Cocaine Bear. You wouldn’t even buy your tickets online, because that would rob you of the opportunity to say out loud to a cinema employee: “I would like to spend my own money to watch a film called Cocaine Bear.”

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Spot the difference: MGM replaces roaring lion with CGI double – video

MGM has replaced its roaring lion with a CGI double. The film studio has used a lion to introduce its films since it was founded in 1924, using five different animals before long-serving’Leo the Lion’ made his debut in 1957. The move to CGI comes after increases in video resolution and quality mark a significant change in quality since Leo was immortalised on celluloid 64 years ago. The new logo was set to be revealed with the latest James Bond film, but multiple delays to its release mean Leo’s digital doppelgänger will now be seen with upcoming films Dog and Respect

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Australia in Colour: recolourised film ushers into existence a new kind of fiction

As the new series of SBS’s film revitalisation project airs, Guardian Australia’s film critic considers the consequences of this trend in film-making

Paolo Cherchi Usai – the Italian curator and former head of the National Film and Sound Archive of Australia (NFSA) – once put forward an elegant definition of moving image preservation, calling it “the science of gradual loss and the art of coming to terms with its consequences”. Those melancholic words present the dispossession of our celluloid and digital pasts as inevitable, and efforts to maintain them a will-o’-the-wisp exercise: impossible to achieve, like reaching the gold at the end of the rainbow.

But loss is far from the first thing that comes to mind after watching the second season of SBS’s four-part documentary series Australia in Colour. Separated into different themes, the first episode is devoted to family, exploring issues such as changing gender roles, the stolen generations and the arrival of contraceptive pills; the second, about sport, investigates national heroes and drinking culture.

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‘We knew so little’: the young film-makers who captured early quarantine life

HBO’s Covid Diaries NYC stitches together five documentary shorts by film-makers between 16-22, covering the dizzying, surreal first days of the pandemic

The middle of March 2021 will bring, for most Americans, a strange, surreal anniversary: the year mark of the horrifying realization – be it through a tweet, a cancellation, a diagnosis of a loved one or a celebrity, a lost job or gig – that the coronavirus was a very real threat that would implode the world as we knew it. For Aracelie Colón, then a 16-year-old high school junior in Manhattan, it was the email announcing a two-week closure from school. For fellow high school junior Shane Fleming, it was the positive diagnosis of a classmate and the closure of the Film Forum, where the movie buff caught a final feature showing on 14 March. For Arlet Guallpa, then 22, it was an ambulance outside her building in Washington Heights, fetching the first of many residents who would succumb to the virus.

Related: 'They refused to act': inside a chilling documentary on Trump's bungled Covid-19 response

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Four women up for best director in strikingly diverse Bafta nominations

Rocks and Nomadland top scorecard in first British film academy shortlist since radical changes made to improve inclusivity

Four women and three foreign-language directors have been nominated for this year’s Bafta awards in a list whose reach and inclusivity come as a marked contrast to last year’s nominations.

Related: Baftas 2021: the full list of nominations

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Fukushima 50 review – Ken Watanabe in simmering tribute to power-plant heroes

There’s a touch of Hollywood in this dramatised account of the 50 workers who stayed at Fukushima Daiichi in an attempt to avert catastrophe

Dangerously high concentrations of politeness are observed in this dramatisation of the 2011 disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. Not only do most of the heroic “50” left behind to avert nuclear catastrophe constantly apologise for underperforming in acts of barely believable self-sacrifice, at one point a manager begs forgiveness for refusing to allow two employees to re-enter the radioactive zone after a failed first attempt. To the feckless western mind more likely to view Homer Simpson as the standard-issue nuclear power-plant employee, it’s a relief when – just for a second – a few Fukushima workers contemplate running away.

It is possible director Setsurō Wakamatsu has taken the Hollywood route in portraying the staff as so infallibly courageous – though Fukushima 50 is adapted from journalist Ryusho Kadota’s book, which investigated the response to the earthquake and tsunami in more than 90 interviews. Possibly to avoid lawsuits from Tokyo Electric Power Company executives portrayed here as selfish and shamefully caught on a back foot, everyone in the film is fictionalised – except for prime minister Naoto Kan, though he is never referred to by name, and plant manager Masao Yoshida. Yoshida crucially defies orders and allows the reactors to be cooled with seawater – which prevented meltdown and the possible devastation of Japan’s entire eastern seaboard. The reactors also must be “vented” for pressure manually by workers agonisingly selected for the task. Played by Ken Watanabe as a man having the ultimate bad day at work, the simmering Yoshida looks in need of a similar intervention.

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Minari director Lee Isaac Chung: ‘My friends back in Arkansas are the audience I wanted to connect with’

The film-maker on how his rural childhood inspired the Golden Globe-winning Minari, now a strong contender for an Academy Award

Oenanthe javanica, AKA water celery or Japanese parsley, is a herb used in various Asian cuisines; in Korea it’s known as minari. “It’s the type of plant you put into food to provide a little bit more of a kick,” says Korean-American film-maker Lee Isaac Chung. Chung didn’t like it himself as a child, but his grandmother planted it on the Arkansas farm where the director grew up, and Minari is now the title of his new feature – a fictionalised evocation of his childhood.

The herb is known for flourishing where other plants struggle – making Minari a suitable name for a story about the fight to put down roots, as Chung’s family did when they arrived in Arkansas in the 1970s. Seen through the eyes of seven-year-old David Yi, Minari is a lyrical, often droll story about family ties, cultural identity and the problems kids might have with a grandmother they love, but who can be weird and embarrassing, too. Minari won the grand jury prize and the audience award in Sundance last year, and last week won best foreign language film at the Golden Globes, with Oscar hopes ahead.

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