It’s time to face up to colourism | Candice Brathwaite

As I grew up, the majority of black women I saw on TV were fair skinned. Those who looked like me were never cast as the lead

I’ve been building a profile as a writer and broadcaster long enough to know that there will be public storms. Some creep up on you, others you sense brewing, and some have been lingering in the background for a lifetime.

A couple of weeks ago, I posted on social media about having “lost out” on hosting a documentary to a lighter-skinned black woman. The subject of the documentary was maternal mortality in the UK, and the harrowing fact that black women are five times more likely to die in childbirth than white women. This is something I have campaigned on for several years, wrote about in my book I Am Not Your Baby Mother and experienced first-hand when I almost died a few days after the birth of my first child in 2013.

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Three families, one sperm donor: the day we met our daughter’s sisters

Every year, thousands of British children are conceived with the help of donor sperm. But few ever meet their siblings...

Caroline Pearson, a podcast producer from London, was a few days into her maternity leave when she discovered that her unborn daughter had two sisters. She had visited a website a friend had told her about, which allows recipients of donated sperm (such as her) to search for families who have used the same donor. If they’ve registered with this website, they could be anywhere in the world, since the US sperm bank chosen by Pearson and her husband, Francis, ships internationally, and the website, Donor Sibling Registry (DSR), is also US-based with an international reach. Pearson couldn’t resist, and typed in the donor’s reference number.

“Suddenly, I was overwhelmingly curious,” Pearson says. She didn’t expect to find anything – let alone two families living within a half-hour radius. The first profile was a single mother to a two-year-old girl, living nearby in London. It seemed an extraordinary coincidence. Caroline was “totally giddy”; her partner Francis, a photographer, was cautious. “I tried to rein things in,” he says. “Caroline was pregnant and we were already dealing with becoming parents, and the donor process. But all this other stuff, it was so unknown. I’m practical and you think: yes, that could be amazing – but what if they’re awful people?”

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The UK couples breaking Covid lockdown to avoid breaking up

Compliance with lockdown is proving increasingly hard for people in relationships who don’t live together

Since most of the UK went back into lockdown on 5 January, people have once again been forced to “stay at home, save lives”. But with “pandemic burnout” on the rise many say compliance is proving increasingly difficult.

People in relationships who do not live with their partner have been in a tough position throughout the pandemic. Faced with the prospect of breaking lockdown or breaking up, many couples have opted for the former.

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Not a sprint: endurance experts on how to make it through lockdown

Marathon runner Eddie Izzard, solo sailor Pip Hare and explorer Levison Wood explain what they have learned about enduring the seemingly unendurable

It just goes on and on, doesn’t it? Despite the millions of vaccinations, and Boris Johnson’s “roadmap” for easing the lockdown, this pandemic is feeling increasingly like an endurance test – a marathon, followed by another marathon, followed by another. Or trudging for miles and miles across the desert for day after day. Or sailing alone around the world, battling storms and loneliness. How do you keep going? There are people who know a thing or two about that – keeping going, endurance, deserts and storms. Perhaps they might even have some advice.

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Malawi MPs debate bill to liberalise abortion laws as churches oppose

Law would widen strict rules in country where thousands suffer complications from unsafe terminations

A bill to liberalise Malawi’s abortion laws will be debated by MPs today in the face of opposition from faith groups.

If passed, the termination of pregnancy bill would allow abortions when a woman’s mental or physical health is in danger, in cases of rape and incest, and when there are serious foetal abnormalities.

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Melting pot: 17 delicious, warming stews – from a Moroccan fish dish to Persian lamb

Popular all over the world, stew is always a comfort, whether it comes as a Lancashire hotpot, French daube or a summery mix of courgette, mint and butter beans

Stew doesn’t have a poor reputation so much as bad branding. The name itself has an aura of disappointment about it, especially the way my children repeated it back to me, after they asked what we were having and I told them. “Stew!” they would say, with heavy emphasis on the “Ew!” It probably doesn’t help that “stew” shares an etymological source with the word typhus.

It is perhaps for that reason that we are often drawn to more exotic names for what is essentially the same idea: tagine, ragout, daube. But a basic, unfussy, slow-cooked stew can rival any of these, as Felicity Cloake’s perfect beef stew demonstrates. As with most beef stew recipes, this one begins with browning the meat on all sides, in batches, and then removing it before adding anything else.

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Kate Humble on walking – and how to improve it: ‘The rhythm is really good for your brain’

The TV presenter thinks our newfound love of walking will persist after lockdown. She talks about hiking around Britain’s coast, the joy of newborn lambs and the true meaning of liberation

It is a rare day that Kate Humble doesn’t get up and get outside, walking out from her farm in the Monmouthshire countryside. “I want to be outside for the first hour or two of the day: no phone, no distractions. I’m sure we all wake up with a million things going on in our heads, all these disjointed thoughts, worries and anxieties. For me, that part of the day, when all I have to think about is one foot going in front of the other and not falling over, creates a headspace that allows all my thoughts to settle in a way that feels much more manageable.”

Humble is a walker – she wrote a 2018 book on the subject, and is presenting a new TV series on it – but the last year has turned many of us into walkers, too. Whether for exercise, to break the monotony or to snatch the chance to walk and talk with a friend, for those of us lucky enough to be physically able and safe to venture beyond the front door, a stroll has become a highlight of the day. “We’re scrabbling to find positives of this situation, and I think one is that it has turned our focus back on to what’s on our doorsteps, whether it’s the wildlife in our gardens, or the beauty of our urban parks,” says Humble. As an ambassador for Living Streets, the charity that campaigns for a better walking environment in towns and cities, Humble hopes the pandemic may speed up the shift away from car-dominated urban spaces. With fewer cars on the road, “I think people have realised that walking is often quicker, healthier, just generally a nicer way of getting around.”

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I have no motivation to work. How can I change my attitude? | Leading questions

You don’t get joy from work – not many people do, says Eleanor Gordon-Smith – but you won’t get more of it sitting at the computer promising yourself you’ll work soon.

I have always had a problem with work, I don’t have much internal motivation to do any and a lot of anxiety about it. Now I am supposed to be working from home I feel even more disengaged. I get up at 11am, then procrastinate around the internet for a few hours.

I do appreciate having a salary and it would logically make sense to try and keep my job. My colleagues are all running themselves ragged working and home schooling and all that stuff. I hate the idea of all that rushing about. How can I change my attitude, and persuade myself do a few hours work every day?

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Nude selfies: are they now art?

Lockdown has triggered a boom in the exchange of intimate shots – and now a new book called Sending Nudes is celebrating the pleasures and perils of baring all to the camera

Have you ever sent a nude selfie? The question draws a thick red line between generations, throwing one side into a panic while the other just laughs. And yet, as far back as 2009, that fount of moral wisdom, Kanye West, was advising how to stay safe. “When you take the picture cut off your face / And cover up the tattoo by the waist,” he rapped in Jamie Foxx’s song Digital Girl.

As the pandemic forces relationships to be conducted remotely, more people than ever are resorting to the virtual exchange of intimacies. Last autumn, a poll of 7,000 UK schoolchildren by the youth sexual health charity Brook put the figure at nearly one in five who said they would send a naked selfie to a partner during a lockdown.

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How we met: ‘I fancied him as soon as he rescued me’

Joan and John Gallagher, 64 and 62, met in June 1983 after a windsurfing session went wrong. They now live together in Catalonia in Spain

In 1983, Joan Tuohy was living and working in Boyle, in County Roscommon in the west of Ireland, an area popular for its water sports on nearby Lough Key. One summer’s day she was out windsurfing on the lough when she got into difficulties. “It’s quite a big lake and when the wind changed I realised I wouldn’t make it back to shore,” Joan says. Luckily, she was able to raise the alarm and her friend, who had a speedboat, came to her rescue. Also in the boat was a young man she didn’t know.

“I had been away at university and had just come home,” John says. “My friend asked if I could help to rescue Joan – it’s quite hard to pull a person and their windsurfing board into a boat alone.” They sped out across the lough and John helped Joan out of the water. “He had a Mars bar in his pocket and when I got in the boat he took it out and asked if I was hungry,” she says, laughing. “I thought he looked very handsome.” He remembers that she looked “very stranded and cold” in her bathing suit.

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Vaccine vials and a virtual hug: a history of coronavirus in 15 objects

How will we tell the story of Covid-19 to future generations, capturing all the fear, horror and hope? Around the world, museums have begun to answer that question

Museums all around the world are collecting Covid-related material. At one level, this is hardly surprising: this is a global transformative event and future generations will need to see what it did to us, how we tried to cope. But they should also be given praise for doing it at a time when they are all locked down. For most, the collecting process – usually an online callout for objects allied to more proactive spotting of themes and requesting of material – started in March or April last year at just the time museums were closing their doors and curators were taking to their laptops at home.

The example of how not to do it is the great flu pandemic of 1918-20, another global transformative event that killed tens of millions but does not figure much in museum collections. People were either too exhausted after four years of war or too traumatised by having another catastrophe to cope with to record it. “The collection I look after has over 150,000 objects covering many different areas,” says Natasha McEnroe, keeper of medicine at the Science Museum in London, “yet you could count the items relating to Spanish flu on one hand.”

The Science Museum and other institutions were determined to do better this time round, although this too has had its own challenges. McEnroe says she and her team haven’t been able to make the usual site visits to look for objects that scientists might take for granted but which, to a curator, are gold dust. She also worries about the ethics of bothering researchers at this critical moment. “Our address books are full of people who are experts in viruses,” she says, “but suddenly, no matter how important I think collecting Covid-related pieces is, developing a vaccine is an awful lot more important, and should I really be stopping them by ringing up and chatting?”

The items shown here have been collected by museums around the world. They range from high science to objects that show how ordinary people tried to tame the virus by representing it, and how they adapted their behaviour to help others. Many express the social solidarity people felt in the first phase of the pandemic in spring 2020 – a feeling of togetherness that is now fraying. It will eventually be the job of museums to show how our response to the virus, just like the virus itself, mutated over time. The clapping stopped; the rainbows in windows faded; we wanted to know when it would be our turn to have the vaccine.

Curators have barely begun to think about how to periodise the pandemic. We don’t even know yet how long it will continue or what form it will take in the future. For the moment, they continue to collect objects and document what they gather; the documentation will be crucial in giving historians and the general public context for the objects when they view them 50 years from now. Why were people wearing Black Lives Matter masks? How did Chinese communities respond to being attacked? Why did touch become so toxic, distance when you held a conversation so crucial? How did toilet rolls become symbols of panic buying? What was the obsession with crochet?

Should there be a central museum of Covid? Most of these institutions think not, though it may at some point be possible to gather together material from individual collections in one place online. The pandemic is proving to be a universal experience, but local and regional variations matter, and curators want their collections to reflect what is happening to people in their area. “Our aim is to document how people reacted to the crisis and what strategy they found to cope with daily life,” says Martina Nussbaumer, curator of cultural history and the history of everyday life at Vienna’s Wien Museum.

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Kate Winslet: ‘I’ve been asked so many times about the intimate scenes’

Kate Winslet on facing down misogyny in film, strange lockdown habits and the unexpected joys of fossil hunting

A man is adjusting the angle of his laptop. “Hello!” he waves. Is that a dishwasher behind him? A little wooden knick-knack, painted with “Let’s Dance” in a jaunty font, balances on an Aga. I have landed in a cheery overlit garage, somewhere on the south coast. And then the nice man moves to the side and bloody hell there’s Kate Winslet. Movie-star Kate Winslet – “Hiya!” – in a smart black jacket with her hair tied back, and that famous smile where it looks like she’s trying not to laugh at a filthy joke.

The man is her husband, Ned [Abel Smith, previously Ned Rocknroll] and the garage is their “little barn”. “It’s not actually a particularly nice little barn,” she says, her energy very much that of a kindly lady doing your bra fitting at Marks & Spencer – I like her immediately. “But over here, can you see the amazing sink? That’s from the set of Mildred Pierce. It’s got shit taps. But I do like to try to take a little something from my films. I took all the curtains from the cottage in The Holiday…” Her children, Mia (20, her daughter with her first husband Jim Threapleton), Joe (16, from her second marriage, to Sam Mendes) and Bear (born in 2013 soon after she married Ned) keep cutting them up, smaller and smaller: “To, like, upcycle their jeans. Also, I did a film called All the King’s Men where Jude Law and I had to do this snogging scene at a table, where we snog, snog, snogged our socks off. And it was so fabulous. As the scene was happening I kept thinking: ‘I’m going to have to buy this table.’ So I did!”

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Claes Bang: ‘Could I do Bond? No, I’d be too old’

The Danish actor, 53, on multilingualism, nudity, the joy of being in a band and why playing Dracula was such a gift of a role

My schooling in Denmark was quite a mess. I went to something like eight or nine primary schools. My parents moved around a lot and then they got divorced. I had new classmates every Monday.

We did a play in high school. Someone said, “Would you like to be in it?” and I said, “How could I? I’m not an actor.” They said, “Let’s just try, it might work.” I was terrified of applying to drama school. I was sure they would say: “Thank you very much for coming, but no thanks.” I was lucky to have been accepted.

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‘Which came first, booze or boys?’: untangling a love affair with alcohol

For better and for worse, drinking has been a constant thread running through writer Megan Nolan’s relationships. She reflects on the dual thrills of alcohol and romance

From the very beginning, whenever there was a crush, there was also a drink in my hand. In his novel High Fidelity, Nick Hornby’s narrator Rob, an unhappy vinyl obsessive, asks himself: “Which came first, the music or the misery?” Did he learn to be unhappy from the sad songs he loved, or did the songs comfort him after the unhappiness was already a fact? In my case, the question is something like this: which came first, the booze or the boys? Did I just happen to begin my romantic life at the same time as my drinking life? Or were my infatuations and love stories authored – or at least fuelled – by the alcohol that accompanied them?

This is not the story of a tragic, ruined woman who destroys all her relationships through drinking. In some, I drank very moderately; in most others, only to good-spirited excess, which caused no harm. There is no redemption arc here, no coming to the light. I still drink now. It is one of my personal bugbears that we seem as a culture flatly incapable of discussing many of life’s most complex issues without urgently needing to name and solve them, preferably with formal medical interventions. And so I can’t speak about a plodding, hopeless soul sickness that afflicts me at times without being cornered into describing it as depression or an anxiety disorder. This is not to say that these things don’t exist; of course they do, and over the years I’ve taken medication for both. But the terms and the drugs are too blunt as tools to address the infinite realm of human suffering and struggle that they sit within.

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‘My thoughts became poisonous’: the toll of lockdown when you live alone

Long-term social isolation is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. What has the last year meant for those who don’t share their homes?

When the first headlines about coronavirus began to appear in January 2020, they had little impact on south Londoner TJ, 25. “It seems outrageous now, but I thought: ‘I’m young, I’m healthy, I’ll be fine.’” By the time the first lockdown was announced, his mindset had begun to shift. He’d been single “for ever” and his housemate was spending lockdown with her parents, but he felt that same batten-down-the-hatches optimism many did in the era of weekly clapping and Zoom quizzes. “But that first weekend, the silence of the house and all the hours to fill – I got this inkling… mentally, I don’t know where I’ll be at the end of this. Four weeks in, I was genuinely scared for my mental health, I wasn’t coping at all.”

TJ is one of an estimated 7.7 million people in the UK who lived alone for most or all of the last year. “It’s not a game of Top Trumps, it’s not like my anxiety is more profound,” he says. “But it is different when you’re experiencing it all on your own.” In November 2020 the Office for National Statistics released findings that showed acute loneliness had climbed to record levels, with 8% of adults (around 4.2 million people) feeling “always or often lonely”, and 16-29-year-olds twice as likely as the over-70s to experience loneliness in the pandemic. “You’d never think fear of missing out would exist when we’re all stuck at home,” TJ says. “But I’d be scrolling through Instagram, seeing friends with their boyfriends or housemates, and thinking: ‘I wish I had someone. I feel so alone.’”

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‘My soupmaker is so quick!’ 15 lockdown buys that helped Guardian readers

From a treadmill and a puppy to 19th-century curtains, here are the purchases that have helped cheer people up in the past year

Not only has my new treadmill seen me through lockdown, it’s also keeping me on an even keel, as I live in a crowded area and don’t really enjoy running outside any more. I use it almost every day, along with an app called Zombies, run! or while listening to podcasts. It has become a comfort. The only downside is that I need to put it back under my bed after each use. Mar, journalist, Barcelona, Spain

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Experience: I almost died in a blizzard

The car was buried. We tried the doors but they would not budge; the weight of the snow was too great

The sun was shining in Utrecht when my friend Rini and I set off for England in a white Ford Capri, in March 1979. We loved classic cars and were going on a tour of used car dealerships in search of a vintage Jaguar. Aged 19 and 20, we were full of the spirit of adventure.

It was so mild when we arrived in Kent that occasionally we would stop to sunbathe on the car bonnet. We had no luck finding a Jag in the south-east so decided to head farther north. We didn’t check the forecast on our way to a dealership in Cumbria.

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The fry’s the limit! 17 delicious ways with batter, from tempura squid to churros

Name an ingredient and someone has deep-fried it. Here are some of the best sweet and savoury recipes, including the notorious deep-fried Mars bar

It is often alleged that there is no foodstuff that cannot be improved by dipping it in batter and deep-frying it. This is not true. As Alexi Duggins previously discovered, there are at least four foods that do not take well to deep-frying: Nutella, Cornettos, Toblerones and lettuce.

But that is a pretty short list and everything else is fair game. Battering and frying happens across many culinary cultures, although the idea seems to have strong roots on the Iberian peninsula. Even the Japanese picked it up from Portuguese fishers – the word tempura comes from the Latin Quatuor Tempora, designating the four annual fasting periods in the liturgical calendar.

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Cook, eat, gym, repeat… has left me in need of major repairs

I burned off the calories, took all the pain – but all that working out has damaged my hip

On the screen it appears as a smudged white halo against the blackness. It doesn’t look like anything in particular, but this X-ray represents so much of me: the lottery of parentage, combined with certain behaviour patterns – a soggy euphemism for appetite – that in turn are combined with efforts to mitigate those behaviours. I have, my consultant tells me, developed osteoarthritis in my right hip. In the next year or so it would be ideal if I had a new one, pandemic permitting. Until then, limp on.

The diagnosis is not a revelation. I have been hurting on and off, and more on than off recently, for more than a year. But I do feel hard done by. The shallowness of my hip joint made this more likely, as did my size, both a genetic inheritance, at least in part. But I’m stone cold certain that the blame also lies with my use of the stair machine at the gym.

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