Seeking fun guy: tall, with GSOH … and a Covid jab

For many who use dating apps to find their ideal partner, the willingness to have a vaccination is becoming a deal breaker

Before the pandemic, Neha knew exactly what she was looking for in a date: an athletic, liberal-minded guy who liked healthy living but wasn’t too outdoorsy. Ideally, he would be Indian like her. Party types were a no-no, pets were a turn-off. Now, multiple dating apps, three lockdowns and a handful of real-life dates later and Neha’s adding a new, elusive quality to that list: Covid vaccination status.

Related: Dating apps: is it worth paying a premium to find love?

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The city my grandfather used to call home no longer exists – except in our minds

After his death, I wanted to know more about his life, and the city that made him and very nearly killed him

Every Hanukkah through my childhood, if I was visiting my grandparents’ Liverpool home, my Grandpa Oskar told me the exact same story. With a pickle on his side plate – my grandma serving up his favourite dinner of latkes, vusht (smoked sausage) and eggs – he’d recount the night during this very Jewish festival in 1937 that his family – our family – fled for their lives from the Nazis.

The preparations for their escape might have been secretly in motion for weeks, but the first he knew of the plan was as it was happening: he arrived home from school to be told he and his brother were going on a trip that very December night. They’d be travelling with their mum; their father – my great-grandpa – would meet them on their journey. It was only later that he’d learn their destination was England, a new permanent home for our family, now refugees.

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Joanna Lumley: ‘I love Patsy because we’re such polar opposites…’

The actor, 74, on Ab Fab, recycling, President Clinton and why you can’t be happy all the time

The nuns at convent school wore black stockings under their long habits and wimples. They were part of the Blue Stockings teaching community, and more concerned with turning us into interesting, strong women than anything holy.

We followed my father’s regiment in the Gurkhas from India to Hong Kong and Malaysia. My memories are of a bungalow that looked out over a little air strip where biplanes would land and the spotlight from a prison camp that flicked through my bedroom windows.

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‘She wanted $4,000 or she’d post the video’: how to deal with dating scams

Romance scams on social media and apps are on the rise – but there are steps you can take if you fall victim

The dating game is full of the unexpected: it can quickly become apparent that photographs might have been in rotation for a few years or that someone listing their height as 5ft 10in could only achieve that height on tiptoes. But while those deceits may be forgivable if you hit it off with your date, at the other end of the spectrum are far worse cons.

In 2020, with more of us stuck at home, often desperate for some company or conversation, the number of romance scams reported to the crime body Action Fraud rose by 15%. Over the past 18 months it has received reports of more than 7,000 cases, with losses totalling £69.7m – an average of almost £10,000 a victim.

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‘In the game, I knew myself as Hannah’: the trans gamers finding freedom on Roblox

37m people use the gaming platform every day in search of adventure – and for teenagers exploring their gender identity, it is also a place of liberation

When she was a child, Hannah discovered two portals to other worlds. The first was her Nintendo 64, which could transport her to the dark dungeons of Zelda and the chaotic battlefields of Super Smash Bros. The second was her mother’s wardrobe in their Devon home, full of clothes she longed to try on, even though this was forbidden. Hannah had been assigned male at birth and raised as a boy; she feared her mother would not approve of her son trying on dresses. It wasn’t until a decade later that Hannah would come out as transgender, identify as female, and adopt her current name.

She vividly remembers the first time she explored that wardrobe, at the age of nine. Her mother was at work, her father asleep downstairs in his chair. Hannah crept into their bedroom and tentatively opened a drawer. She took out a silky nightgown and shrugged it on, feeling the instant, giddy rush of something she would later learn to call “gender euphoria”, though it was tempered by fear that someone would walk in. As if on cue, her mother returned from work unexpectedly and caught Hannah in the act.

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Forget the mayonnaise but remember the honey: readers’ tried and tested tips for a perfect picnic

There’s nowhere better to eat than outdoors – if you can avoid the common pitfalls. Here’s how to keep your sandwiches fresh, your corner of the park rubbish-free and the wasps safely distant

Last year, we took börek on several picnics: giant spirals of filo pastry stuffed with Turkish white cheese and spinach (alternatively lamb and potato). They’re ideal for picnics because they taste great cold, you can cut them into smaller sections to take in a plastic tub and the filling and pastry holds together well. My other tip would be to keep some lightweight folding chairs in the boot of the car for impromptu picnics (the cheap Eurohike ones are great) along with reusable plastic cutlery. I also take a collapsible/telescopic metal straw for drinks.
Lucy Matthews, Nottingham

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Home Office sued by asylum seeker over baby’s death

Woman claims asylum housing staff ignored pleas for help when she was in pain while 35 weeks pregnant

A woman whose baby died is suing the Home Office for negligence over claims that staff at her asylum accommodation refused to call an ambulance when she was pregnant and bleeding.

The woman, who has asked to be named Adna, sought asylum in the UK in January 2020 after fleeing Angola. She was seven months pregnant when she was brought by police to Brigstock House asylum-support accommodation in Croydon.

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Rape victims in south Asia still face vaginal tests, report finds

Unscientific ‘morality’ examination linked to low conviction rates and violates women’s rights, says Equality Now

Physical vaginal tests are still used to determine whether women and girls have been raped in India, Nepal and Sri Lanka, according to a new report.

The practice remains widespread in all three countries and some courts refer to the test in judgments, despite it having no scientific basis and being banned in India.

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UK south-Asian diaspora despairs as India joins Covid red list

With travel from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh banned, some UK families are stuck abroad, while others cannot visit frail relatives

For the past 17 months, Saurav Dutt has had to watch from afar as relatives were lost to Covid, ancestral homes were damaged by a typhoon, and the mental toll of isolation, grief and illness led elders to question their very existence.

He had flights booked for May, but with cases soaring and India on the UK’s travel red list from 23 April, that is no longer an option. “It’s a very worrying time,” Dutt said. “You would think there are a million ways to help from over here, but we’re handcuffed. To deal with these things we need to be there.”

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Oligarch’s son told to pay mother £75m after world’s biggest divorce case

Court rules that Temur Akhmedov had worked with his father to help him avoid £453m settlement

The son of an oligarch caught up in the world’s largest divorce case has been told to pay £75m to his mother after a judge at the high court in London found he was “a dishonest individual who will do anything to assist his father”.

Temur Akhmedov was found to have worked together with his father, the billionaire Farkhad Akhmedov, to hide hundreds of millions of pounds of assets – including several mansions, a superyacht, a helicopter and an extensive art collection – in order to avoid paying a £453m divorce settlement.

“Temur has learned well from his father’s past conduct and has done and said all he could to prevent his mother receiving a penny of the matrimonial assets,” the judge, Gwynneth Knowles, said in a ruling on Wednesday. She ruled that he should pay his mother more than £75m.

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‘Let yourself be quirky’: Oprah Winfrey’s life coach on how to be much happier

Martha Beck survived abuse, went to Harvard, left her husband – then began working with the world’s biggest TV star. She discusses self-help, nonconformity and the power of truth

“This has almost been like a global meditation. What isn’t working in your life rises to the surface. Going back to the way it was? It’s not going to happen.” Martha Beck – the bestselling author and Harvard-trained sociologist known as “Oprah Winfrey’s life coach” – is talking about responses to the pandemic.

“Every act of creation begins with the destruction of the status quo,” she continues. “It looks like chaos. But, really, it’s a freedom from the tyranny of ‘how things have always been done’. Pascal said that most of our misery comes from the fact that we are unable to sit quietly in a room. And, by the billions over the past year, we have been forced to sit quietly in a room. Now people’s questions are coming from a much deeper place. Before, it was: ‘How do I change my life?’ Now, it’s: ‘What do I want from my life?’”

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Pills in the post: how Covid reopened the abortion wars

Lockdown revolutionised women’s access to home treatment – and strengthened the anti-abortion backlash

Kay, 34, realised her period was late a month into Britain’s lockdown. The coronavirus death count was spiralling across the country. Covid-19 was putting the NHS under unprecedented strain and Boris Johnson had given the British people what he described as “a very simple instruction” in an address to the nation from Downing Street: “You must stay at home.”

A worrying, unsettling time, and Kay, a mother of a six-year-old girl, needed to get hold of a pregnancy test kit. She went online and, two days later, took delivery of the test, learning of a positive result via two pink lines. It was the news she had dreaded.

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‘I wash my hands and genitals – the rest I gave up’: how the pandemic changed our hygiene habits

Lockdown affected all our routines when it comes to showering, bathing, shampooing and deodorant. Will regular washing ever resume?

Without much strenuous activity, a pair of underpants will last for two days before they go into the wash, while socks “are good for three days, if you aren’t tramping around too much”, says Simon Clifford, an electronics designer from Great Yarmouth. Showers? Every other day is fine. He is still using deodorant and, since it promises “48-hour protection”, he may as well test it to the limit. Does he smell? It’s hard to say, since he lives alone. But he has been back at work since the beginning of the month. “Nobody has complained,” he says. “And I’ve got a couple of good friends at work who would say something. I can’t find any indication that there’s any need to wash any more than I am.”

In the year since the pandemic took hold in Britain, we have been both washing more – our hands, at least – and probably washing the rest of us less. In February a YouGov survey found 17% of Brits were showering less often than before (although 10% were showering more), while nearly a third said they were less likely to put clean clothes on, and a quarter were washing their hair less frequently. Sales of deodorant are in decline – according to figures from the retail analysts Mintel, 28% of people have been using less. For younger people, this is even more marked – 45% of generation Z and 40% of millennials are dodging deodorant. A survey for GSK Consumer Health found only 9% of people had improved their oral health routine, despite snacking a lot more; 5% said it had declined. We have become the great unwashed.

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Shadow and Bone star Jessie Mei Li: ‘Fans find out everything’

The actor is about to hit the TV big time as a girl with special powers in Netflix’s new young adult fantasy. And the internet is in a frenzy

Jessie Mei Li currently inhabits a weird stratum of celebrity. At 25 years old, her biggest screen credit to date has been a single episode of the Channel 5 docudrama Banged Up Abroad. She hasn’t worked for a year. And yet, at the same time, a growing portion of the internet has become borderline hysterical about her.

Search for her name and you’ll get the idea. There are tweets declaring things like “Jessie Mei Li you have my whole heart” and “I believe in Jessie Mei Li supremacy”. There are more than a dozen Jessie Mei Li stan accounts on Instagram – fan-based accounts dedicated to a particular celebrity – many of them shrieking their obsession in frenzied all-caps captions several times a day. Tumblr, as you might expect, is an almighty mess.

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Middle-aged people who sleep six hours or less at greater risk of dementia, study finds

UCL data of 10,000 volunteers shows cases 30% higher among those who slept poorly in their 50s, 60s and 70s

People who regularly sleep for six hours or less each night in middle age are more likely to develop dementia than those who routinely manage seven hours, according to a major study into the disease.

Researchers found a 30% greater risk of dementia in those who during their 50s, 60s and 70s consistently had a short night’s sleep, regardless of other risk factors such as heart and metabolic conditions and poor mental health.

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The secret to being Tom Cruise? Three days of chocolate cake

Little by little, the way for everyday mortals to become more like the world’s most extraordinary movie star becomes clearer. And this latest stage may be easier than expected

Tom Cruise is arguably the most intimidating movie star in existence. He’s less a human being and more a physical manifestation of human willpower. He does his own stunts. He flies his own planes. Back when everyone was worried that Covid would permanently bring the world to its knees, he offered hope; first by driving an actual motorbike off a literal cliff to prove to the world that no virus could stop him from doing loads of knuckleheaded stunts, and second by screaming blue murder at his crew whenever they got closer than two metres to each other.

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A frou frou boob tube and metallic pink trousers: the outfits readers can’t wait to wear

After a year in fleeces, leggings and pyjamas, many of us are yearning for escapist dressing – from bespoke suits to peep-toe shoes

I cannot wait to wear my kitten heels again. They live in my porch and have been gathering dust but they twinkle and wink at me. I am sick of wearing flat shoes … I cannot wait to wear my fabulous heels again.
Anne-Marie Newland, yoga teacher trainer, Leicester

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Laura Dockrill on parenting, paranoia and postpartum psychosis: ‘I thought I’d been hijacked by a devil’

A month after the birth of her son, the writer, poet and illustrator was on suicide watch in a psychiatric ward, experiencing severe delusions. Now her podcast is raising awareness of a condition that affects one in a thousand new mothers

Laura Dockrill told herself she was the worst case the psychiatric hospital had ever seen, and was untreatable. But that was only one of her delusions. Dockrill thought her father-in-law had hypnotised her. She would stalk the hospital corridors, feeling “like this badass”, as if she were a trained assassin. The reality was painfully different, but in Dockrill’s words it comes coloured with a comic touch.

“I was frumpy, quiet, wore my sister’s cupcake socks and a pink T-shirt with breast milk blooming over my boobs,” she says, smiling, her neon pink lipstick beaming through my laptop screen. There were times when she was on to her partner’s devious “plan” to take their newborn baby away from her, but would act like some kind of femme fatale, convinced he couldn’t resist her dangerous sexiness. He would play along – Dockrill’s psychiatrist had advised him not to try to reason with her – while gently reminding her that she would get better.

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The wisdom of water: 12 ways to use blue spaces to improve your health and happiness

From relaxing baths to seaside swims, water can be a balm in difficult times. Catherine Kelly, the author of a new book on blue spaces, shares her tips

It was after her mother died that Catherine Kelly learned the healing power of water. Following instincts that she did not yet understand, she moved to live alone by the sea in County Mayo, on the west coast of Ireland, and over the next few years began to heal. “It’s an ebb and flow that water gives us that allows us to connect with ourselves. It’s an allowing,” she says.

After eight years studying the therapeutic effects of nature, she has written a book called Blue Spaces, packed with ideas about how to make the most of being in or near water. You don’t have to live near the coast to benefit. “There’s being in it, being next to it, thinking about it,” she says. Nor does it matter how much water is available. From raindrops to the ocean, urban fountains to canals and fast-moving rivers, there is a blue space for everyone. And although the phrase “blue space” typically refers to natural waters, Kelly says the possibilities for meaningful connection are the same whether it is the sea or your shower.

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Press play for Petflix: boom in gadgets for pandemic puppies as owners return to work

The realities of ownership are dawning as the UK’s lockdown eases and the dogs left at home need to be looked after

Pet cameras and activity trackers are flying off the shelves. Demand for anti-chew sprays, automatic feeders and water fountains for pets has rocketed, and dog walkers and sitters are being inundated with inquiries.

As lockdown restrictions ease, dog owners are snapping up products and services that will enable them to monitor and care for their pets while they are out at work.

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