Do I need to leave my partner for the sake of my fragile son? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

It’s all about your partner, your son, your dad, your friends. But you need to find a way to include your own needs in whatever you decide

I am 62 years old and semi-retired. I’ve worked hard all my life. In my 30s I had a son; it was just the two of us for a long time. My son had mental health issues in his teens and has autism; I am still friends with my son’s father, and they have a good relationship.

Ten years ago I met a lovely man and we moved in together. My son went to uni; the expectation was he’d move out once he’d graduated. He’s now 27 and still living with us.

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‘I come, or I die’: fatalistic refugees say Channel crossing their only option

Young people who have made the dangerous journey tell why they have risked all to reach the UK

In the early hours of Thursday morning, a group of newly arrived refugees huddled together on the coast of Dover. The smugglers had not halted their trade in moving people across the Channel and, just hours after 27 people died on the perilous journey, they were back at work.

There is little evidence that the latest loss of life will deter others from making the dangerous journey. After the tragic drowning of the Kurdish family who tried to cross the Channel in October last year, two asylum seekers who survived told the Guardian that, despite being deeply traumatised, they continued trying to cross and not long after made it to the UK.

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Myanmar junta accused of forcing people to brink of starvation

Advisory group say military has destroyed supplies, killed livestock and cut off roads used to transport food since February coup

Myanmar’s military junta has been accused of forcing people to the brink of starvation with repeated offensives since it seized power in a coup earlier this year.

The Special Advisory Council for Myanmar said the junta had destroyed food supplies and killed livestock while cutting off roads used to bring in food and medicine.

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The secret to great sex? It’s not what you think …

There’s more to good sex than complicated positions or wild lust. The authors of a groundbreaking study explain what really makes it great

Far from what films and TV shows might tell us, truly magnificent sex has very little to do with daring feats of seduction or screaming orgasms. In fact, according to the latest research, erotic intimacy is more a state of mind than a physical act.

In a recent study, Magnificent Sex, psychologist and sex therapist Dr Peggy J Kleinplatz and her colleagues at Ottawa University in Canada realised that, while whole library sections were dedicated to bad sex (and how to make it better), there was almost no literature dedicated to great sex. What did it feel like? Who was having it? And what made it so great?

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Warning on tackling HIV as WHO finds rise in resistance to antiretroviral drugs

Nearly half of newly diagnosed infants in 10 countries have drug-resistant HIV, study finds, underlining need for new alternatives

HIV drug resistance is on the rise, according to a new report, which found that the number of people with the virus being treated with antiretrovirals had risen to 27.5 million – an annual increase of 2 million.

Four out of five countries with high rates had seen success in suppressing the virus with antiretroviral treatments, according to the World Health Organization’s HIV drug-resistance report.

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Naomi Campbell’s fashion charity investigated over finances

Regulator examines potential mismanagement at Fashion for Relief and payments to trustee

The fashion charity established by the supermodel Naomi Campbell has come under formal investigation from the charities watchdog over misconduct concerns relating to its management and finances.

Campbell created Fashion for Relief in 2005 to raise funds for children living in poverty and adversity around the world, and says it has raised millions over the years for good causes through its annual charity fashion show.

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The everyday assault of disabled women: ‘It’s inappropriate sexual touching at least once a month’

They are almost twice as likely to be sexually assaulted as non-disabled women. Why is so little being done to address this harrowing, pervasive problem?

Amy Kavanagh is as happy as anyone else that the world is opening up – but there is one thing she is not thrilled to be experiencing again. “As much as I’m excited to be getting out and socialising again, it comes at a cost,” she says. Kavanagh is blind and sexual harassment is as frequent in her everyday life as it is disturbing. “I get harassed in public, on the street, in shops, on public transport, in cabs and even in professional environments. Pre-pandemic, I experienced inappropriate sexual touching at least once a month,” she says.

While there has been a renewed focus on women’s safety since the deaths of Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa, little attention has been paid to the harassment and violence faced by disabled women. Yet women with a disability are almost twice as likely to have experienced sexual assault (5%) as women without a disability (2.8%), according to ONS data for the two years to March 2020. This is not an anomaly; in the previous three years, the figure was 5.7%. In 2021, a survey of more than 1,000 disabled women carried out by the Trades Union Congress found that 68% had experienced sexual harassment at work. The figures constitute a hidden blight on disabled women’s lives.

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Many disabled women are assaulted each year. Forgetting my own rape feels impossible

After the attack, I became preoccupied with the idea that my case would be questioned because of my disability. But what happened continues to haunt me

I have been a wheelchair user for a number of years, due to a progressive condition. I have been a rape survivor for four. These things are more connected than you might think.

I first met Alex (not his real name) four years ago. We were at a house party. He was drunk and I was sober; this would become a running theme.

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Samantha Willis was a beloved young pregnant mother. Did bad vaccine advice cost her her life?

When the UK’s jab programme began, expectant mothers were told to steer clear – so Samantha decided to wait until she had had her baby. Two weeks after giving birth, she died in hospital

It was typical of Samantha Willis that she bought the food for her baby shower herself. No fuss; she didn’t want other people to be put out. She even bought a cheese board, despite the fact that, because she was pregnant, she couldn’t eat half of it.

On 1 August, the care worker and mother of three from Derry was eight months pregnant with her third daughter. The weather was beautiful, so Samantha stood out in the sun, ironing clothes and getting everything organised for the baby.

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I got help for postnatal depression that saved me. Most women in India do not | Priyali Sur

With up to one in five new mothers suffering depression or psychosis, experts say the need for help is ‘overwhelming’ India

A month after giving birth, Divya tried to suffocate her new daughter with a pillow. “There were moments when I loved my baby; at other times I would try and suffocate her to death,” says the 26-year-old from the southern Indian state of Kerala.

She sought help from women’s organisations and the women’s police station, staffed by female officers, in her town. But Divya was told that the safest place for a child was with her mother.

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Another Covid Christmas: Britons urged to delay festive plans

Analysis: scientists say high transmission rates mean caution is critical if people are to stay safe

As Christmas approached in 2020, it was not a Dickensian spirit but the spectre of Covid that haunted households up and down the UK.

With cases soaring, government-approved plans to allow three households to mix for five days in England were scrapped within weeks of being made, while scientists urged families to connect over Zoom or host drinks on the pavement rather than meeting for a hug.

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ICU is full of the unvaccinated – my patience with them is wearing thin | Anonymous

Most of the resources we are devoting to Covid in hospital are being spent on people who have not had their jab

In hospital, Covid-19 has largely become a disease of the unvaccinated. The man in his 20s who had always watched what he ate, worked out in the gym, was too healthy to ever catch Covid badly. The 48-year-old who never got round to making the appointment.

The person in their 50s whose friend had side-effects. The woman who wanted to wait for more evidence. The young pregnant lady worried about the effect on her baby.

The writer is an NHS respiratory consultant who works across a number of hospitals

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Dr Sarah Ogilvie: ‘Generation Z are savvy – but I don’t get all their memes’

The linguist and computer scientist discusses her optimistic assessment of a misunderstood generation – and delves into the nuanced ways to text ‘OK’

Dr Sarah Ogilvie is a linguist, lexicographer and computer scientist at Harris Manchester College, Oxford, who works at the intersection of technology and the humanities. With Roberta Katz, Jane Shaw and Linda Woodhead, she is the author of Gen Z, Explained: The Art of Living in a Digital Age, which paints an optimistic portrait of a much misunderstood generation that has never known a world without the internet.

Define Gen Zers.
They are people born from the mid-1990s to around 2010. They’re followed by Generation Alpha, who are aged 10 and under, though there’s a bit of an overlap.

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People said I was weak, lazy and fussy. I’m not – but I am autistic

The late diagnosis of Melanie Sykes and Christine McGuinness came as no surprise to those who, like Sara Gibbs, have trodden the same path

The news of Melanie Sykes and Christine McGuinness’s late autism diagnoses may have come as a surprise to many. After all, they are glamorous career women. They look nothing like the stereotype of autism we as a culture are used to. I, however, was not shocked, knowing only too well that you can’t tell anything about someone’s private reality from their public image.

As I read their stories, I couldn’t help but imagine what they might be feeling. Were they elated? Confused? Excited? Terrified? Angry? Relieved? All of the above?

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Coronavirus live news: Hong Kong authorises Sinovac vaccine for children aged 3-17, Rotterdam riots condemned

The Coronavirus infections rate in the Czech Republic hit a new record for the second time this week, the health ministry said on Saturday.

It announced that the daily tally rose to 22,936 on Friday, almost 500 more than the previous record set on Tuesday.

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Are the 2020s really like living back in the 1970s? I wish …

With queues for petrol, inflation and Abba on the radio, it’s easy to compare the two decades. But you wouldn’t if you were there, says Polly Toynbee, as she revisits the styles of her youth

Queueing for petrol, I turn on the radio and there are Abba, singing their latest hit. Shortages on shop shelves are headline news, with warnings of a panic-buying Christmas. And national debt is sky high. But this isn’t the 1970s; it’s 2021. People who weren’t born then have been calling this a return to that decade. There are similarities, of course: this retro-thought was sparked by the recent petrol queues, people as frantic to fill up to get to work as I remember back then. Elsewhere, flowing floral midi dresses are back, just like the ones I wore; Aldi is selling rattan hanging egg chairs; and, as well as Abba, the charts have been topped by Elton John. But is this really a 1970s reprise?

No, nothing like it; not history repeated, not even as farce – just a stylist’s pastiche, as bold as the wallpaper I’m posing in front of here. Folk memory preserves only the 1974 three-day week; the miners’ strike blackouts, with no street lights and candle shortages; the embargo that quadrupled the price of oil. True, I did queue at the coal merchant’s to fire up an ancient stove for lack of any other heat or light. But the decade shouldn’t be defined by this, or by 1978-79’s “winter of discontent” strikes, a brief but pungent time of rubbish uncollected and (a very few) bodies unburied by council gravediggers.

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Do long jail sentences stop crime? We ask the expert

Penelope Gibbs, former magistrate and founder of Transform Justice, on whether harsher sentences are effective

Until recently, the subject of criminal punishment hasn’t been a massive concern for the public (putting aside that small demographic committed to a “hang ’em all!” approach). But in the wake of Sarah Everard’s murder, calls for misogyny to become a hate crime have gone from a whisper to a roar. That change would give judges the power to increase sentences when misogyny was found to be an aggravating factor in a crime. But would harsher sentences do much to stop such crimes happening? I asked Penelope Gibbs, former magistrate and founder of Transform Justice, a charity campaigning for a more effective justice system.

Did you hear about the Thai fraudster who was sentenced to jail for more than 13,000 years? I guess they needed a number to describe ‘throwing away the key’. Are long sentences becoming more common?
I don’t know about across the world, but I can tell you that in England and Wales sentences have been getting steadily longer over the past decade, by roughly 20%.

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‘Diagnosis is rebirth’: women who found out they were autistic as adults

Women from around the world describe the life-changing impact of finally receiving a diagnosis

Less than 20 hours after asking women who had received a late diagnosis of autism, we received 139 replies from around the world.

There were women whose lives had been scarred by victimisation, from bullying to rape, because without a diagnosis they did not know they were highly vulnerable to manipulation and abuse.

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Good or bad? Top cardiologist gives verdict on chocolate, coffee and wine

Exclusive: Prof Thomas Lüscher assesses the heart healthiness of some of our favourite treats

Dark chocolate is a “joy” when it comes to keeping your heart healthy, coffee is likely protective, but wine is at best “neutral”, according to one of the world’s leading cardiologists.

As editor of the European Heart Journal for more than a decade, Prof Thomas Lüscher led a team that sifted through 3,200 manuscripts from scientists and doctors every year. Only a fraction – those deemed “truly novel” and backed up with “solid data” – would be selected for publication.

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‘Storm clouds’ over Europe – but UK Covid rates remain high

Analysis: likes of Slovakia and Austria have worse figures but UK’s have topped EU average for months

As Covid infection rates surged again across Europe, Boris Johnson spoke this week of “storm clouds gathering” over parts of the continent and said it was unclear when or how badly the latest wave would “wash up on our shores”.

The situation in some EU member states, particularly those with low vaccination rates, is indeed dramatic. In central and eastern Europe in particular, but also Austria, Belgium and the Netherlands, case numbers are rocketing.

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