Category Archives: Life and style

The menopause is ruining my sex life. How can I stop feeling so numb?

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Losing your libido is a symptom, not a life sentence

The dilemma I am a 52-year-old woman who has had a difficult perimenopause. I have read extensively on the subject and tried various supplements to ease this transition. My experience has included hot flushes, night sweats, depression, anxiety, insomnia and heavy periods. I was suffering the most debilitating anxiety to the point where I could barely function. I am on bio-identical HRT (Oestragel and Utrogestan), but these had little effect in easing the symptoms. I had no choice but to take antidepressants even though my symptoms were due to hormone fluctuations.

As a side effect my libido fell drastically (a healthy sex life had been maintained until this point and I have always found it easy to orgasm). What I did not expect was that my clitoris physically shrunk and orgasms become almost impossible to achieve.

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‘I’m getting clarity, a time that will feel lighter’: psychics share their 2021 predictions

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From astrology to tarot, interest in the mystical arts has flourished during the pandemic. So what is in store for the year ahead?

This age of uncertainty has been a boon for crystal ball gazers. From New York to New Delhi, fortune-tellers have seen spikes in business; in the US, Forbes magazine reported a 136% rise in people seeking supernatural readings. In societies where religious belief is dwindling, and trust in the establishment under threat, the idea of looking elsewhere for guidance – to the stars or beyond, if you believe in a beyond – has made a kind of sense.

2021 will present an opportunity to reassess what’s important. It brings a chance to rebuild

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17 ways with leftover turkey, from warming ramen to rich risotto

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With Christmas gatherings reduced in size this year, you may have more poultry than usual to eat up. But there are myriad ways to make that more interesting that in sounds

On top of all the problems we have faced in 2020, we could be experiencing a larger-than-ever glut of turkey this season: restrictions on large gatherings, combined with high demand for – and a corresponding shortage of – smaller birds, may have left a lot of us with more meat than we can eat in one, two or even three sittings.

Fortunately, help is at hand: here are 17 easy, delicious and slightly different ways to use up your Christmas turkey.

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‘The idea was to put smiles on faces – and it snowballed’: the people who saved 2020

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From the Spider-Men who rescued the children of Stockport, to the women who won the Nobel prize, here are seven people who brightened the darkest days

When Andrew Baldock decided to don a Spider-Man suit for his daily jog in March, to cheer up locked-down children on his estate, he never expected such a huge response. “The original idea was just to put some smiles on faces and then it snowballed,” says Baldock, 45, who lives in Stockport, Greater Manchester. “Everyone loved it.”

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Happy Kwanzaa! It’s so much more than a ‘black Christmas’

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I had my reservations about this celebration of African heritage. Then my father and I shared a very special moment

In 1966, the African American Maulana Karenga created the holiday of Kwanzaa to give black people an “opportunity to celebrate themselves and their history” rather than indulge in the customary traditions of a white Christmas. The celebration starts on Boxing Day and runs for seven days, each marking one of the “principles of African heritage”, which include umoja (Swahili for unity), kujichagulia (self-determination) and ujaama (cooperative work and economics).

I have a complicated relationship with the holiday. I have always been suspicious of Karenga, the self-styled “master teacher” who seems more cult leader than black revolutionary, peddling a highly patriarchal message of African spirituality as some kind of salvation. It is undeniable that this festival, which takes its name from the Swahili for “first fruits”, but is set in the dead of winter, draws heavily on Christmas, yet Kwanzaa is extremely popular in black communities. I once recited a poem during a Kwanzaa celebration at Harvard, defending it as more than a “bootleg black Christmas”. And if a questionable origin story was a reason not to celebrate a cultural event, then we would all be at work on 25 December.

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Stella Tennant obituary

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Model who rose to fame in the 1990s, capturing the attention of Karl Lagerfeld and gracing the pages of Vogue

No one in fashion could guess what would succeed the smiling, buoyant healthfulness of the international supermodels who commanded catwalks and covers in the late 1980s and early 90s. The unexpected next big things turned out to be very particularly British: bad-waif Kate Moss, and cool aristo Stella Tennant, who arrived on the pages of British Vogue in 1993. She has died suddenly, shortly after her 50th birthday.

Tennant’s appeal had been prefigured in the release that year of Sally Potter’s film of the Virginia Woolf fantasy novel Orlando, its hero/heroine (nothing so simple as androgynous) played by Tilda Swinton; pipe-cleaner thin, tall, pale, unpainted, with a body language both male and female, and an ever-unready smile. Totally Tennant.

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Experience: I fell in love in an Uber

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I jumped in the cab to find a tall handsome stranger sitting in the back

It was a beautiful spring day in Manhattan in May 2016. The air was crisp and the skies were blue, so I decided to walk across town to meet a friend for lunch. I had gone only a few blocks when what felt like a tornado hit: my light coat was no match for the heavy rain; my hair blew in 10 directions, and garbage hit me in the face. I tried to hail a cab, but there weren’t any. Uber prices were surging, so I decided to take a punt on an UberPool (you could end up travelling with a stranger, but there’s a discount). I hoped nobody would get in to join me on the short trip.

The cab pulled around the corner immediately. I jumped in to find a tall, handsome stranger sitting in the back. My heart started to race. I casually glanced in his direction before smoothly sitting down beside him (or so I thought; if you ask him about it now, he says I straight up stared at him).

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The film quiz of the year: do you know the Queen’s favourite or which one inspired John Lennon?

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From producers’ faux pas to an actor’s accident with a chainsaw, check out your knowledge of the movie world

Which James Bond film had its release postponed twice this year due to Covid-19?

Die Another Day

No Time to Die

Live and Let Die

Tomorrow Never Dies

Which actor was picked by Pablo Larraín to play Princess Diana in his upcoming film about the end of her married life?

Lily James

Millie Bobby Brown

Kristen Stewart

Vanessa Kirby

Which prominent couple signed a lucrative deal this year with Netflix to make TV drama, films and children’s shows?

Prince Albert and Princess Charlene of Monaco

Danny Dyer and Joanne Mas

Elton John and David Furnish

Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex

In August, Brian Blessed revealed that the Queen told him her favourite film is one of his. Was it?

Santa’s Blotto (Blessed played Santa)

Henry VIII and His Six Wives (Blessed played the Earl of Suffolk)

Flash Gordon (Blessed played Prince Vultan)

Much Ado About Nothing (Blessed played Antonio)

In the autumn, it was revealed that a baseball film inspired John Lennon to record the song Grow Old With Me a month before he was shot dead in December 1980. Was it?

A Love Affair: The Eleanor and Lou Gehrig Story (1978), with Blythe Danner as Eleanor and Edward Herrmann as her husband, Lou, stricken with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis

Angels in the Outfield (1951), starring Paul Douglas as the Pittsburgh Pirates’ tough-talking manager Guffy McGovern, who is soothed by love

The Stratton Story (1949), starring James Stewart as Monty Stratton of the Chicago White Sox

The Bad News Bears (1976), with Walter Matthau as the grumpy old coach

This summer, which film festival moved to gender-neutral acting awards?

Cannes

Venice

Sundance

Berlin

In September, US congressman Ken Buck called for an investigation into what?

The Netflix movie Cuties

The Capitol Hill security administration’s decision in April 2015 to allow Buck to bring an AR-15 assault rifle into the building for a photo opportunity in a year in which one child had already been killed and eight injured during school shootings

Twitter allowing Buck in March 2020 to post a video online boasting about the AR-15 assault rifle in his office, challenging Joe Biden to take it from him, in a year in which two children had already been killed and one injured during school shootings

The NRA spending $829,377 on Buck’s congressional campaign in 2010, a year in which three children were killed and five injured during school shootings

This year, Matt Hancock incorrectly referred to “Daniel Rashford” when he meant Marcus Rashford, the footballer whose school meals campaign had just shamed the government into submission. Hancock later said he had been thinking of a famous movie personality. Who was it?

Daniel Radcliffe


Daniel Craig


Daniel Day-Lewis


Daniel who’s travelling tonight on a plane

Which movie star suffered a chainsaw accident at home during lockdown?


 Judi Dench

Maggie Smith


Cate Blanchett

Sylvester Stallone

At the beginning of the year, producers of the period drama Little Women were embarrassed when an eagle-eyed fan spotted two modern items in the background of one shot, just behind Timothée Chalamet. Were they?

A green-tea menthol e-cigarette and a tablet

A portable Blu-ray player and an ultrasonic humidifier

A Fitbit and a pair of Apple glasses

A Hydro Flask and a plastic Poland Spring water bottle

10 and above.

Cut! What a glorious take, carissimo. Practise your Zoom acceptance speech my darling because we're talking silverware.

7 and above.

Cut! Whoah! Not bad my love. I was really feeling it that time.

0 and above.

Cut! With a performance this bad, I regret casting you. The security guard will escort you out of the studio.

4 and above.

Cut! Mmm. Try that scene again darling, but do try to say the lines as if you haven't got a head injury.

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How to properly load a dishwasher: ‘If you pre-rinse it might actually come out dirtier’

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Should you pay attention to ‘not dishwasher safe’ labels? And what really belongs in the bottom drawer? Experts solve your family washing-up conflicts

If you still feel the sting of parental reprimands for barbarically stacking your plate in the dishwasher without rinsing it first, one good thing 2020 can offer is vindication. While everyone has their own methods, tricks and opinions on conventional wisdom, the misinformation around a machine that’s meant to make our lives easier has caused generations-long feuds – and water wastage.

Fact: You do not need to pre-rinse. Just scrape the solids into the bin, says Ashley Iredale, white goods expert at the independent consumer advocacy group Choice. Most dishwashers have inbuilt turbidity sensors that measure how much dirt is in the water from the first rinse cycle, so rinsed plates may fool the system. “If you pre-rinse everything, your dishwasher’s going to think that your plates are cleaner than they actually are, so it won’t wash as intensely and they might actually come out dirtier,” says Iredale. The food filter is there for a reason, he adds – simply remove and clean it once a month.

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Australia’s grumpy cat: shelter staff bent on finding ‘demonic’ Chester a home

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South Australian eight-year-old has lived in four homes already, but RSPCA says it’s about knowing how to handle him

Returned to the RSPCA by four different families in the past seven years, “demonic” Chester may be the least-loved cat in Australia, but workers at the shelter are still determined to find him a home for Christmas.

The grumpy eight-year-old moggie was described by his last owner as “anti-social” and “a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde”. On his surrender form, the former owner wrote that while Chester was “great with chickens” and “tolerates the dogs”, he also “attacks our old cat and the neighbours”. She told the RSPCA that she had visitors who would not enter the house unless the cat was locked away.

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Hungry and afraid: life for factory workers meeting UK demand for cheap clothes

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Pakistani workers describe trying to survive on the less than £50 a month many of them earn making items for firms such as Boohoo

When Qasim Ahmed* arrived in Faisalabad a year ago, he didn’t want much – just enough money to pay for a roof over his head, buy food and send a little cash home each month.

Today, that seems like a fantasy. Instead of having enough to get by, he claims, he has found himself struggling to survive, frequently going hungry, feeling abused by his boss and fearing he is working in a factory that could go up in flames. “It makes me sad that I can’t help my parents and siblings the way I hoped before coming here,” he says.

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Boohoo selling clothes made by Pakistani workers ‘who earned 29p an hour’

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Guardian investigation finds claims of safety issues, with workers saying they sometimes work 24-hour shifts

The fast fashion brand Boohoo is selling clothes made by Pakistani factory workers who say they face appalling conditions and earn as little as 29p an hour, an investigation by the Guardian has found.

In interviews in the industrial city of Faisalabad, workers at two factories claimed they were paid 10,000PKR (£47) a month, well below the legal monthly minimum wage for unskilled labour of 17,500PKR, while making clothes to be sold by Boohoo.

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‘Santa’s staying safe’: St Nick turns to Zoom for visits during pandemic Christmas

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Performers use Zoom and augmented reality to meet with children – with some surprise perks

It’s going to be a unique Christmas this year, and Santa Claus is adjusting accordingly.

Professional Santas across the United States have shifted their holiday work season to accommodate the Covid-19 restrictions that have held 2020 in their grip. Some still greet children in stores, from behind plexiglass or in an enclosed snow globe.

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‘Racism doesn’t dissolve once it’s out of the headlines’: is the fashion industry doing enough to address diversity?

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Since the killing of George Floyd, the industry has attempted to tackle racism, but has it gone far enough?

This month, fashion’s unofficial watchdog, Diet Prada, posted a “how it started versus how it’s going” meme on Instagram. Contrasting a past moment of hope with a current moment of reckoning, Diet Prada turned its attention to the US clothing and homeware store Anthropologie.

The first picture was a screengrab from the brand’s official Instagram account, showing a pledge to diversify its workforce, written after the police killings of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor in the spring. A second screengrab showed the lineup for a series of Christmas virtual workshops – styling sessions, baking demonstrations and candle-making sessions run by blond, white women.

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Frosty mornings but no white Christmas for UK, forecasters say

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Met Office predicts a ‘seasonal feel’ to the weather after a rainy start to the week

Those dreaming of a white Christmas will be left further disappointed this year after the Met Office forecast no more than frosty conditions for the UK.

Temperatures across most of the country will stay in mid-single figures on Thursday and Friday, and no snow was expected to settle.

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Seasonal makeover: from couch potato to festive diva

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Lockdown has not been kind to our beautiful selves, but now it is time to shape up. Emma Beddington gets to work on her pre-Christmas, full-body makeover. But where to begin?

How do you look at the moment? It’s a loaded question, I know. “Asking me to choose one physical feature I feel bad about is like asking me to choose my least-favourite family member since lockdown,” says my friend F. An unscientific poll of friends and acquaintances reveals a tally of 2020 woes: worry wrinkles, “maskne”, “Zoomface”, “presidential” hair and Covid kilos. “Weird grief seeps out of me and my eyes are tired,” read one extremely relatable response.

Eating more, exercising less, sleeping badly, scrolling and worrying constantly… barring some boastful Instagram blowhards, we are all looking and feeling suboptimal as 2020 draws to a distinctly unfestive close. My own tally is standard but dismal: I look like a parboiled potato, in both face and body.

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Sunday with David Oyelowo: ‘I unwind by watching MMA fights’

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The actor on discovering hiking, choosing dessert and attending church online

What gets you up? Three rabidly hungry dogs demanding to be fed – it’s the same every morning here in Los Angeles. Normally we’d head to church, although now we’re attending virtually. It remains a surreal way to take part in such a communal activity.

How do you unwind? With MMA fights. For some reason I find watching grown men turn each other into burger meat very relaxing. I love that on Sunday I’m commanded from on high to take a break: self-obsession is an occupational hazard for every actor. Thinking beyond that, however briefly, is healthy.

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Now I’ve had a baby, I resent my young stepson coming over

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Speed forward a few years and imagine it’s your baby in this situation, says Mariella

The dilemma I feel awful saying this, but I’m holding loads of resentment towards my young stepson. I met his father when the boy was only two. For years we’ve all had a great relationship, but recently I gave birth to our baby, and I found I was becoming less tolerant of his son throughout my pregnancy and started to dread him staying with us. My partner is unaware of this, as I hide it very well – I’m sure this is my issue. But I found I was at breaking point today. We’re in the last days of my partner’s paternity leave and his ex rang to say his son wasn’t well and asked if we could look after him.

I cried for an hour (again hidden from my partner) as this time is so special. There seems to be nothing wrong with the boy and I believe she just couldn’t be bothered to take him to school when she knew we were at home.

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Three life-changing conversations: ‘It made me understand I am not a dirty word’

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We asked young black writers who entered our essay competition about key conversations in their lives. Queenie author Candice Carty-Williams introduces the top three

As a writer, my main concern is inviting the reader into a world that they might not otherwise know. And if it’s a world they do know, I want it to feel familiar to them. If there’s one thing I strive towards when it comes to writing, it’s legitimacy. And as a reader, I’m looking for exactly the same thing.

When it came to judging this competition, for young black writers aged between 16 and 21 on the theme of conversations, I spent a lot of time either being wowed by their penmanship, or astonished that I could so easily connect with what they were saying. It’s been a long time since I was that age, but the skill of a good writer is drawing anyone in, whatever the gaps in age, culture or knowledge.

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