Category Archives: Life and style

‘I felt compelled to hug strangers’: a day at the gathering of my ancestral clan

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When Megan Nolan received her invitation, she wasn’t convinced of the importance of a shared name. Could 20 Nolans change her mind?

In June this year I received an email inviting me to Carlow, Ireland, to receive an award from the Nolan clan. The award was in recognition of my writing career, a little gesture of thanks for promoting the Nolan name in the world. I was dimly aware of Irish clans, largely from gift shops near tourism hotspots, where you can sometimes buy a horribly expensive sweater or scarf emblazoned with the family crest of your choice. I had no idea that they were a real-life concern.

I wasn’t living anywhere in particular. I had recently left my house in London because I couldn’t easily afford it and had tired of sharing with other people. So I answered my invitation from the clan immediately, accepting a little out of curiosity and a lot because in my transient state I would take any excuse to make my way back to Ireland, where I could loaf in my parents’ homes and not think much about money for a week.

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Our first Christmas as empty nesters

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The kids have left home, and we’re not really coping, so this seems like the perfect chance to lure them back

My husband and I don’t think we have the condition until, one day last month, hundreds of miles from home, we find ourselves outside our younger son’s university accommodation at 11.30 on a Sunday morning. I am clutching supplies in a little brown paper bag. Our son knows we’re in town, but isn’t expecting this rude awakening. It’s a surprise.

“Do you think we should have called first?” I say as we approach the entrance, the inappropriateness of what we’re doing dawning on me only now.

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Lego accused of muscling in on fans after BrickLink takeover

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Sale has alarmed secondhand brick collectors but Danish toymaker claims it is about reconnecting with customers

For 20 years the website BrickLink has been the best kept secret in Legoland, used by superfans to track down those elusive missing pieces and trade coveted minifigures for big profits.

Nicknamed CrackLink, it is the world’s largest online community of adult brick fans – called AFOLs [adult fan of Lego] in Lego speak – who, with more than a week’s pocket money to burn, are important customers for the world’s biggest toy company.

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Something to chew on: New Zealand man sets up ‘stick library’ for dogs

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Andrew Taylor came up with the idea because of a lack of ‘good’ sticks at the local park

A New Zealand man has created a “stick library” for his local dog park as a way to recycle branches from tree pruning.

Andrew Taylor, of north Canterbury in the South Island, cut a dozen tree branches down to “stick” size for the community’s four-legged friends, and smoothed away the rough edges using tools he had around the house.

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A cinema, a pool, a bar: inside the post-apocalyptic underground future

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A missile silo converted into a 15-storey luxury subterranean apartment complex could be a taste of what lies in store in cities around the world

Tucked away among cornfields in the midwestern United States, a military-grade chainlink fence surrounds a verdant berm on an otherwise empty plot of land. It is guarded by a camouflaged lookout with an assault rifle. Underneath this unassuming hill is a 15-storey inverted luxury tower block called the Survival Condo – and it could be a portend of future private underground developments in cities the world over.

Stretching 60 metres below the surface, the Kansas silo was one of 72 “hardened” missile structures built during the cold war to protect a ballistic missile with a nuclear payload one hundred times more powerful than the bomb dropped on Nagasaki.

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‘It gets competitive at jigsaw time’: Christmas with my ex-boyfriends

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I’ve been bringing exes home for a family Christmas for years. Now we have to rent a castle to fit them all in

This Christmas you’ll find me sitting around a crackling fire with my family: my mum whomping down her third mince pie, my sister searching for bubbly, and my stepfather burying his nose in the sports pages. One of my ex-boyfriends will be making us die with laughter while another ex polishes off the cava, and a completely different ex tries to pull focus from the first ex, who is on all fours pretending to give birth to a penguin. My actual boyfriend will either be in hysterics or dreading his turn at charades. Christmas is complicated.

People start moaning about how stressful Christmas is around the time Pret release their new festive sandwich. Single gay friends, especially, worry about travelling to towns they left as soon as they could, populated by people they hid from on Facebook and hoped never to see again. I know this feeling, because for years it’s what I did, too. Back in the early noughties, the thought of going home to Jersey was so gloomy that I was forced to take action. I was single, but had stayed pretty good friends with an ex who had grown up in a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses, so I asked him to come home with me. He was thrilled to have an invite, and that year proved that just because turkey is dry it doesn’t mean the holiday has to be. Having an ally took the edge off, and the lively addition of a guest with ADHD and a gift for candid storytelling meant we all had the most fun we’d had in years.

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The joy of sex for the first time at 37: ‘We celebrated and high-fived afterwards’

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Libby’s virginity felt like a weight she had to carry around. Determined that 2019 would be her year, she signed up to online dating – with unexpected results

This time last year, Libby was looking back on 2018 with regret. At 37, she was still a virgin.

Libby (not her real name) was one of four thirtysomething virgins to share their stories with the Guardian in June. The piece struck such a chord that there was cause for a follow-up article on the many readers who got in touch to say they started their sexual lives in their 30s – and urged those who were worried about not having lost their virginity not to give up hope.

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Christmas jumper day goes green to cut down on plastic waste

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Save the Children urges people taking part in its charity event to source sweaters through clothes swaps and vintage shops

Save the Children is calling on people to hold clothes swaps and scour vintage shops rather than buy new Christmas jumpers, after research found that 95% of the novelty items for sale contained plastic.

The appeal for consumer “sustainability” comes ahead of the charity’s annual Christmas jumper day on Friday, when it encourages supporters to buy and wear festive pullovers. Research by the environmental charity Hubbub estimates that 12m jumpers will be bought this year, triggering huge amounts of plastic waste.

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‘Pilates-changed-my-life’ stories are annoying… but it did

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Over three years the exercise regime took Rachel Cooke from terrible back pain to new levels of fitness. But it was a lot harder than she expected

One morning almost five years ago, I awoke from uneasy dreams and, like Gregor Samsa in Franz Kafka’s story, The Metamorphosis, found myself to be… well, not precisely an insect, but the effect was similar. Trying to get out of bed, I realised I could barely move. So excruciating was the pain in my back, my only option seemed to be to roll myself – thunk! – on to the floor.

Lying there on my stomach for a few moments, I took in the view (beneath the bed were old shoes and dust balls the size of planets) and then, screwing up my courage, I crawled on to the landing – which is where I stayed for the rest of the day, sobbing quietly and wondering how I would get to the loo; when, exactly, the NHS emergency doctor would arrive.

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‘Parenting here means checking the ingredients of teargas’: my return to Hong Kong

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Emma-Lee Moss, who makes music as Emmy the Great, on life, new motherhood and her divided birthplace

It feels as if the entire world’s press is there, standing on the pavement outside the Foreign Correspondents’ Club. They’re in Hong Kong to cover the protests, but tonight, the Friday before National Day, they’re off duty. From the bottom of the hill, the bars of Lan Kwai Fong thrum reliably. There is an uneasy peace in the air, as though we all know that, three days from now, the long-running citywide demonstrations will reach a violent new apex.

I’ve walked this route hundreds of times, and been a parade of different selves. I’ve been a teenager trying to score 7-11 beer on the spot where Chungking Express was filmed. I’ve been a visiting writer ordering drinks at the FCC bar. But now I am the mother and primary carer of a nine-month-old, and my time out has been negotiated. Quite frankly, I am dazzled by the world after 7pm. As I shuffle past the media crowd, I feel a pull, a yearning. In another life, I’d be there with them. When I moved back to Hong Kong in 2018, it was in search of stories about the strange, convoluted city I was born in.

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‘It’s cool now’: why Dungeons & Dragons is casting its spell again

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Thanks to the popularity of open-world video games – and Stranger Things – a new generation has rediscovered the communal pleasures of the 80s role-playing phenomenon

Not long ago, my sons, like many other preteens, were obsessed with Fortnite. It was all they played, all they talked about, all they spent their pocket money on. But one rainy afternoon this summer, my youngest took out the D&D starter kit we’d bought him for Christmas and began to study it. Some friends came round and they played for hours. Since then, they haven’t really stopped.

This is not an isolated incident. Originally released in 1974, Dungeons & Dragons is having what we now call “a moment”. The company behind the game, Wizards of the Coast, which bought the rights from original creator TSR, estimates that there are currently 40 million players worldwide, with new starters up 25% year on year, as its popularity grows and rules are translated into new languages.

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‘A very nice guy’: how Godfrey Gao made it to the top

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The late film star was a trailblazer for diversity in fashion and film. His loss deprives the growing Chinese entertainment industry of a fine talent

Taiwanese-Canadian actor Godfrey Gao was famous for being the first Asian international supermodel but he was much more than just a pretty face – he had a reputation for being one of the friendliest stars in an intensely competitive industry.

“He was known for being a very nice guy,” says Cecilia Pidgeon, a former celebrity editor at GQ China. “He had a very good reputation among other actors. He was always nice to his fans. All of the colleagues he worked with only had good things to say.”

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Selfies, influencers and a Twitter president: the decade of the social media celebrity

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From Gyneth Paltrow to Trump, today’s stars speak directly to their fans. But are they really controlling their message?

I have a friend, Adam, who is an autograph seller – a niche profession, and one that is getting more niche by the day. When we met for breakfast last month he was looking despondent.

“Everyone takes selfies these days,” he said sadly, picking at his scrambled eggs. “It’s never autographs any more. They just want photos of themselves with celebrities.”

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Concern grows over ‘rough sex gone wrong’ defence in courts

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UK lawyers and activists demand action as researchers find tenfold rise in usage

Senior lawyers and women’s organisations have condemned the increasing use of “rough sex gone wrong” as a courtroom defence to the murder of women and called for a change to the law in the UK.

In the wake of the conviction of British backpacker Grace Millane’s killer in New Zealand, researchers have revealed a tenfold rise over the past two decades in the number of times similar claims have been made in UK courts.

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Victoria’s Secret cancels annual televised fashion show as viewers turn off

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‘Evolution’ of marketing strategy comes as audiences for the runway show have slumped

The annual Victoria’s Secret televised fashion show, known for its jewel-encrusted bras and supermodels sporting angel wings, will not be held this holiday season, according to an announcement by parent company L Brands Inc.

The official confirmation comes months after Shanina Shaik, an Australian model and Victoria’s Secret Angel, told the Daily Telegraph the show would not be going ahead.

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World’s first printed Christmas card goes on display at Dickens museum

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Printed in 1843, the hand-coloured card originally sold for one shilling and shaped the popular tradition

The world’s first printed Christmas card, an artwork created in 1843 that went on to spawn a global industry, has gone on show at the Charles Dickens Museum in London.

Designed by Henry Cole and illustrated by John Callcott Horsley, in the same year that Dickens’ A Christmas Carol was published, the hand-coloured card shows a family gathered around a table enjoying a glass of wine with a message: “A merry Christmas and a happy new year to you.”

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New boiler, £0? The plumber, hairdresser and beautician who work for free

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Haircuts for rough sleepers. Beauty treatments for cancer patients. Boilers for disabled people. A wave of specialists are providing skills – and hope – for those in need

Goodwill, it appears, is in high demand. One thing all the altruists I met while researching this article have in common is that they’re on the phone the whole time. Perhaps if mobiles had been around in Robin Hood’s day he would have had one pressed constantly to his lughole. “Marion … yes, love. I’m just having a fight on a bridge with Little John … sorry, you’re breaking up, terrible reception in here, all the oaks... What, the Sheriff’s abducted you? OK, I’m coming!”

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Man sues Burger King for grilling vegan burger and meat on same grill

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Phillip Williams argues he wouldn’t have bought the burger if he’d known it was ‘covered in meat by-products’

When Burger King announced the Impossible Whopper (a vegan alternative to their bestselling burger), they did so with the tagline: “100% Whopper, 0% Beef.”

Turns out, the statement may have been misleading. At least, that’s what customer Phillip Williams, who is vegan, has claimed in a lawsuit filed against the fast-food giant in south Florida on Monday.

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A psychedelic retreat proves a healing trip

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Exploring the therapeutic benefits of magic mushrooms at a ceremony in Amsterdam

I’m at a weekend retreat in a converted church near Amsterdam. There is soft, celestial music playing and I’m sipping fresh herbal tea while discussing my hopes and fears for tomorrow’s “ceremony”, which is retreat parlance for a psychedelic trip. Consuming the truffle parts of magic mushrooms is permitted in the Netherlands and my nine fellow guests and I will be eating a variety called Dragon’s Dynamite. We’re not taking recreational drugs, but rather using psychedelics as self-exploratory and therapeutic “plant medicine”. Welcome to the age of the psychedelic retreat.

Synthesis opened its doors in April 2018. It was co-founded by Martijn Schirp, a former poker player who found salvation through psychedelics. “I had my first mushroom trip nine years ago and that changed my life,” he says. “I was walking through this forest and it was so peaceful, it was like a fairy tale. I felt this huge self-critical voice lift off me.” He believes he’d still be estranged from his father if it wasn’t for the perspective psychedelics have given him. His entrepreneurial mind saw that what was missing was a retreat with “medical supervision, private one-to-one coaching and professional standards in a modern context”.

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Who’s the daddy? Paternity mixed up in cities, study finds

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Illegitimacy more likely over past 500 years among urban poor, say geneticists

The Romans had a phrase that summed it up nicely: mater semper certa est, pater semper incertus est. The mother is always certain, the father is always uncertain.

Now, researchers have found that some people have more reason to doubt their fathers than others, or at least have had over the past half millennium.

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