Oliver Burkeman’s last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life

After more than a decade of writing life-changing advice, I know when to move on. Here’s what else I learned

In the very first instalment of my column for the Guardian’s Weekend magazine, a dizzying number of years ago now, I wrote that it would continue until I had discovered the secret of human happiness, whereupon it would cease. Typically for me, back then, this was a case of facetiousness disguising earnestness. Obviously, I never expected to find the secret, but on some level I must have known there were questions I needed to confront – about anxiety, commitment-phobia in relationships, control-freakery and building a meaningful life. Writing a column provided the perfect cover for such otherwise embarrassing fare.

I hoped I’d help others too, of course, but I was totally unprepared for how companionable the journey would feel: while I’ve occasionally received requests for help with people’s personal problems, my inbox has mainly been filled with ideas, life stories, quotations and book recommendations from readers often far wiser than me. (Some of you would have been within your rights to charge a standard therapist’s fee.) For all that: thank you.

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From cool beans to has-beens? The Covid threat to Britain’s coffee shops

Why the chains and independents at the heart of Britain’s high streets are in deep trouble

It’s the multibillion-pound industry that kept on growing, based on a bean that Britons couldn’t seem to get enough of: coffee.

Until, that is, the pandemic struck. As is the case with many businesses hit hard by coronavirus, the ubiquitous coffee chains that have powered city centres and high streets across the UK are in deep trouble.

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‘Beef or chicken?’ What $2 airline meals taste like on the ground

With flights on hold, airline caterers have pivoted to selling direct-to-public, so how does an airline meal taste without cabin pressure?

“If you’re going to a cafe and paying $25 for a meal you have certain expectations. If you’re doing a 10-course fine dining degustation you have expectations … It’s one of those things where you have to set your expectations accordingly.”

Related: Grounded beef? Airlines sell in-flight meals to earthbound travellers

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Lego reports sales jump after Covid crisis kept families at home

Shoppers globally bought toys online while physical stores were hit by restrictions

Lego, the toy brick company, has enjoyed a lockdown boost to sales as families around the world were forced to spend more time at home during the coronavirus pandemic.

Total sales rose by 14% in the first half of 2020 and sales were up by more than 10% in its largest markets – including the Americas, western Europe, Asia Pacific and China – despite the closure of toy shops for months in some countries, including the UK.

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Alan Partridge on his new podcast: ‘This is the real, raw, be-cardiganed me’

He’s back – sporting a post-lockdown haircut and hosting a new podcast. Britain’s No 1 raconteur talks about his new hat, driving a Vauxhall, and why Boris Johnson looks like the evil rabbit in Watership Down

Turn right out of Norwich railway station, take the number 12 bus, change at Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, ride eight stops on the number 4 towards Swanton Morley, walk 1.1 miles, and you can’t help but spot the twin louvred conical towers of the oasthouse that Alan Partridge calls home. It is from this very oasthouse that Partridge – raconteur, national treasure, wit – broadcasts his brand new podcast, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast, and to which Partridge has invited the Guardian.

Partridge bounds out to greet me in what appears to be an effusive show of hospitality. He offers a handshake before snapping it back into a more pandemic-appropriate wave. “I am so fine with social distancing,” he says. “Remember, I work in television where you’re forever mauled, hugged and leant on by over-pally floor managers or cackling makeup ladies. Now I can say, ‘Get your hands off me!’ without appearing in any way rude.”

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Indoor plant with four leaves sells for $8,000 in New Zealand

A buyer was willing to part with huge sum to secure the variegated minima amid a houseplant boom fuelled by the pandemic

An indoor plant with just four leaves has sold for more than NZ$8,000 (£4,000) in New Zealand, as the public’s passion for horticulture surges during the pandemic.

Houseplants have become especially popular among millennials, experts say, many of whom are unable to nurture babies or pets due to financial and property constraints.

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Pregnant women in hospital with Covid-19 may not show symptoms, study finds

Analysis shows that pregnant women may be at a higher risk of needing admission to an ICU

Pregnant women in hospital with coronavirus are less likely to show symptoms and may have a greater risk risk of being admitted to an intensive care unit than non-pregnant women of similar age, a study has found.

The analysis, which encompassed 77 studies conducted globally and was published in the British Medical Journal, looked at 11,432 pregnant women admitted to hospital and diagnosed as having suspected or confirmed Covid-19.

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‘It destroys lives’: why the razor-blade pain of vaginismus is so misunderstood

This common condition can lead to relationship breakdown and unnecessary surgery. So why is treatment still so poor and underfunded?

I was just a few weeks into a new relationship when the pain started. Whenever my boyfriend and I started to have penetrative sex, it felt as if there were razor blades inside me. At first I laughed it off, but soon I became terrified of intercourse. My body would freeze with fear as my clothes came off. By the time we said: “I love you,” even kissing made me feel anxious. I would spend entire day trips and holidays with him worrying about the pain.

When I first went to my GP, the advice I got was to “try and relax”. It was about as helpful as telling someone having a panic attack to “just chill out”. Without a real solution, I started to question whether I was imagining the pain. Or if maybe, somehow, I was to blame for it. My boyfriend was kind and supportive but I felt I was letting him down. Some days, I would feel so ashamed that it was hard to think about anything else. Other days, I’d feel an overwhelming sense of loss for the carefree woman I had been.

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Paloma Faith: ‘I did a whole tour with postnatal depression. I was devastated’

The singer and actor on her ‘extremely politically correct’ upbringing, the challenges of parenthood and how lockdown forced her to rewrite her new album

There were choirs planned for Paloma Faith’s new album, a swell of voices to fill out the optimistic, celebratory songs. Then the pandemic struck. The album changed dramatically, in just a few weeks. Some of the more upbeat songs were dropped, she says, because in the midst of so much crisis and loss, “it felt like the lyrics could be perceived as a bit patronising”. New songs spilled out of Faith and the other writers, all four singles written in lockdown, then recorded in a studio set up in her basement. The songs sound more solitary now; more suited to the times.

We speak over Zoom, Faith lying on a bed at home in London. Infinite Things is her fifth album; her first was released in 2009, and all have been hugely successful. There have also been big singles, such as Only Love Can Hurt Like This and Picking Up the Pieces. Her latest album is also her most personal, perhaps as a result of this year’s forced intimacy.

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E-scooters: time to take the brakes off | Letter

The government must stop dragging its feet when it comes to encouraging the use of e-scooters, argues Hilary Saunders

Your article about e-scooters (UK rides the wave of micromobility by embracing e-scooters, 25 August) failed to raise some vital questions.

As electric scooters can cost as little as £120, they could provide the ideal transport for low-income commuters, while helping to reduce carbon emissions, especially in cities. It would not cost much to mark out a lane on arterial roads for the use of bicycles and e-scooters.

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Michaela Coel isn’t buying anything new next month. Are you?

From Chewing Gum to I May Destroy You, the writer and actor has carved out a groove as a true original. Who better to convince us all to shop secondhand?

Michaela Coel could be wearing anything she wanted, right now. As the star and creator of I May Destroy You, the BBC drama that became a water cooler hit even in a summer without water coolers, Coel is the hottest property in town. Any fashion designer would jump at the chance to dress her. But today she is enthusing over a time-pummelled black sweatshirt with faded insignia, sourced not from a Bond Street boutique but from Oxfam’s cavernous warehouse in Batley, North Yorkshire. “I’m here for it,” she murmurs approvingly, pulling it over her head.

She’s here for all of it. She’s here for the pale pink Burberry trenchcoat, another Batley treasure unearthed for our shoot by Oxfam’s senior fashion adviser, Bay Garnett, a nod to Coel’s neon bubblegum bob as Arabella in IMDY. She’s here for the dynamite 80s jeans and matching jacket in toffee-apple faux-leather, a rare Gaultier Jeans find. She’s here for the Fanta-coloured boilersuit (think Ripley in Alien meets Bananarama on Top Of The Pops), for the elegant 70s Jaeger mustard blazer with anchor-stamped gold buttons, and for a knockout pair of Versace high-waisted shorts, illustrated with classic Rita Hayworth film posters.

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Revealed: auditors raised minimum-wage red flags at Boohoo factories

Exclusive: Third-party reports set out allegations at 18 Leicester suppliers

The fast-fashion retailer Boohoo has been selling clothes made by at least 18 factories in Leicester that audits say have failed to prove they pay the minimum wage to workers, a Guardian investigation has found.

Third-party audit reports produced over the past four years make claims of “critical” issues over record-keeping and working hours at the time they were written, suggesting that in parts of the supply chain workers may be paid as little as £3-£4 an hour.

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‘Fear of failure’ giving UK children lowest happiness levels in Europe

More than a third of UK 15-year-olds scored low in the annual Good Childhood Report

Children in the UK have the lowest levels of life satisfaction across Europe, with “a particularly British fear of failure” partly to blame, according to a major report into childhood happiness.

More than a third of UK 15-year-olds scored low on life satisfaction, the annual Good Childhood Report from the Children’s Society found. They also fared badly across happiness measurements including satisfaction with schools, friends and sense of purpose compared to children in other European countries.

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Laura Bates on the men who hate women: ‘They canonise and revere and idolise murderers’

For years, the founder of the Everyday Sexism project has had vile abuse heaped upon her. But that still didn’t prepare her for what she found in the toxic world of online misogyny

Laura Bates founded the Everyday Sexism project in 2012, when she was 25, inviting women on social media to detail sexist encounters they’d had. Two years later, she published the book of the same name, curating a document that was horrifying but unsurprising. It should have been shocking but nobody was shocked. Six years on, we meet in King’s Cross, in London, where the cafe has separated the tables with Perspex, so I have a flash-forward to a dystopian near-future where one of us is in prison for feminist activism (obviously her, I decided, ruefully). She is as passionate and determined as I have ever seen her (I have met and interviewed her a few times before), yet somehow more cautious, for reasons that become clear.

Bates was surprised by certain elements of the Everyday Sexism project, like how many of the accounts came from girls in their mid-teens (she had expected more responses to be from women working in offices), but not the phenomenon of sexist harassment itself, which she knew was “hidden in plain sight. It was an invisible problem and this was very much trying to make it visible.” In doing so, Bates seeded an idea that would be proved again and again in the following years, in more and more vivid ways. From the #MeToo movement to Black Lives Matter, the inflection point for resisting injustice is not when one crusader saves the day, but when everybody is emboldened to speak out at once. Bates comes back to this repeatedly, and not, I think, for reasons of modesty. It was never, she insists, about her.

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French minister defends ‘precious’ right to sunbathe topless

Gendarmes’ request for topless sunbathers to cover up on south coast prompts outcry

France’s interior minister has defended the “precious” right to sunbathe topless on beaches, after police asked a group of women to cover up on the southern coast.

French gendarmes patrolling a beach in Mediterranean seaside town Sainte-Marie-la-Mer last week asked a group of topless sunbathers to cover up in response to a complaint from a family, the local gendarmerie said in a statement on Facebook.

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The fashion industry echoes colonialism – DfID’s scheme will subsidise it | Meg Lewis

Covid-19 has exposed the fragility of supply chains, which rely on the labour of black and brown workers. The deep inequalities won’t be fixed by injecting funds at the top

Is the UK governed by parliamentary democracy or big businesses? It is a question that should concern us all, yet it is becoming increasingly hard to differentiate between the two, as the government hands out multimillion-pound contracts to private firms with dubious track records, and ministers revolve between roles at big banks and government. Last week, the line between UK aid and private businesses was called into question, as the Department for International Development (DfID) announced the decision to direct £4.85m of taxpayers’ money towards the work of large retailers including M&S, Tesco and Primark.

The DfID funding is intended to support large companies to fix vulnerable supply chains and ensure that “people in Britain can continue to buy affordable, high-quality goods from around the world”. These aims, along with the fact that UK brands have been entrusted to deliver them, set off alarm bells for labour rights campaigners like myself, who advocate for better working conditions in the global garment industry.

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Berlin reports rise in fatalities as new bike lanes fail to keep cyclists safe

Campaigners demand more rules for lorries after initial hope pandemic would mean less traffic

A coronavirus-related drop in traffic and new protected bike lanes have failed to make Berlin’s roads safer for cyclists, as the German capital reports a four-year record in fatalities.

A woman run over by a right-turning articulated lorry in the district of Reinickendorf on Friday became Berlin’s 14th official cycling fatality of 2020 – more than twice as many as the six recorded in 2019.

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Tempura herbs and hasselback beetroot: eight flavour-packed new veg recipes from Yotam Ottolenghi

After decades of messing about with vegetables, I’m still finding fresh ways to unleash their powers, revealed in this extract from my new book, Ottolenghi Flavour

I have never been shy about my love of vegetables. I have been singing the praises of cauliflowers, tomatoes, lemons and the mighty aubergine for years. But while it’s my mission to present vegetables in new and exciting ways, I must confess to a niggling doubt: how many more ways are there to roast a cauliflower, slice a tomato, squeeze a lemon or fry an aubergine?

The answer, I’m delighted to report, is many, and in my latest foray, I have been joined by my brilliant colleague and co-writer Ixta Belfrage. Our journey of discovery into the world of vegetables has focused on understanding what makes each one distinct, so they can be tasted afresh. It’s about creating flavour bombs, and it’s done in these three ways.

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I’m Deaf. When mask-wearing came along, I had to rebuild my world

Masks prevent me from lipreading and using facial cues to communicate –hearing people need to be more open to communicating in different ways with strangers

Since mask-wearing began, my world has disappeared. I was born partially deaf, and masks prevent me from lipreading and using facial cues to communicate.

I’m not alone. Over 460 million people worldwide have disabling hearing loss according to the World Health Organization. So how are people who are d/Deaf (lower case refers to the physical condition of deafness, capital D refers to the Deaf community) or hard of hearing surviving mask mandates?

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From giving up gambling and getting fit to coping with grief: how our lives changed in lockdown

This year’s isolation has been painful, but in some cases it has also provided a valuable chance to pause, reflect and take decisions that seemed unthinkable before. Here, six readers describe how lockdown inspired them to turn their lives around

As soon as he heard about the impending lockdown, Alex Harrison, 34, drove to his local casino in Liverpool and asked them to ban him for life. In the manager’s office, his photograph was taken and his details were recorded on an iPad. To his surprise, the manager congratulated him.

Harrison has battled with a gambling addiction for 10 years. When he walked into the casino that day, he owed around £1,000 to friends, family and payday lenders. Occasionally, he would gamble his entire month’s salary on the day he was paid.

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